Hate, Processed.

There’s emotion.
And then there’s feeling.
Emotion is physiological.
It emerges in body.
Fear is a vacuum in stomach.
Anxiety is rise in heartbeats.
Anger is rush in veins and hot ears.
Feeling is different. Advanced.
Feeling is emotionalized thought.
Thoughts stick to emotion; create feelings.
And thoughts are patterned, for most.
We don’t see the present as it is.
We use a stencil of a past event to see it.
We see linkages and similarities.
Which may or may not be there.
It’s called Transference.
The pain of a negative feeling is more of a role, played once again, for the same old drama of patterned reactions.

Hate is one such feeling.
Slightly different, in its use of transference.
In this case, it’s not much about a past; it’s about present itself that gets dragged forward in future. Hate is thought of a disturbance stuck to the emotion of anger, pulled ahead in the flow time; with no regard for the fact that what happened is already in the past.
Unresolved, unprocessed, keeping the echoes of that emotion suspended in a limbo.
Hate is anger, stuck in a frame of a video that doesn’t move forward.
It’s more of a glitch.

And make no mistake: it’s a decision.
We choose to let that limbo be there.
We could’ve processed it; intellectualized the feeling and understood what part of us was left unfortified that it hurts so much; we could’ve used it as a drive to understand and strengthen ourselves further. Except we don’t.
The question is, why?
The answer is, we get a pay-off.
With hate, we get a weight, false as it may be, to fill up the vacuum of an unfastened mind.
Hate is there, for the self-identity demands it to be there.
Hate is linked to self-concept and other sensations of identity derived from culture, religion, tradition, sentiments, belief systems, faith, ideologies etc.
By feeling that hate, we feel the identity.
Which we don’t otherwise, not really.
For we haven’t done much to construct that identity on our own; and feeling it out of all this hate and hurt, all this sentimentalism, helps us ground it to a definite pole.
That’s the thing.
That’s what it’s all about.

If hate is about what we choose to think about things, then the remedy is to apply a conscious thought to the linkage between us and those things; and asking ourselves, are we the sum of nothing but these sentiments? Are we nothing else, really? Can we be? Do we wish to be? Wouldn’t it be better and profitable to grow bigger than these sentiments that can only get hurt and nothing else? Wouldn’t it be better to develop a self-identity with individual awareness, thought, action and consistent walk toward definite goals that leave no margin, time, energy for hatred? Wouldn’t it be better to be more than what we are; for what we are is suffocating us and that itself is ample inspiration to reach higher?

© Apoorv Vikas
Counselor and Life Empowerment Coach
Nigdi Pune India

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