Problem & Approach

Loser’s reaction to problem:
“It’s only natural that I have these problems.
I’m helpless.
I’m fat because I have no time for workout.
My kids are dumb; I blame video games and Netflix.
I have extra-marital affair only because my spouse is useless.
I lose money only because capitalists have great marketing strategy.
I’m only a victim here. Blame others.
I don’t want to hear any solutions.
I’m not going to take any efforts here.
Let’s just adjust to it all.”

Winner’s response to problem:
“It’s only natural that I have these problems.
It’s only natural that I need to find solutions.
I’ll stay true to myself.
I’ll never use my problems as an excuse for deviation to self-decay.
It doesn’t matter who’s to blame.
What matters is, I’m the one getting hit.
Since I don’t want that,
I need to change myself.
For I can change only me; not others. Simple.
I’ll introspect. Check what aspect of my personality is making trouble possible.
Perhaps I need help and I’ll get it.
Let’s see how I can develop better control on the situation.
Let’s see where and how I need to rise up.
Let’s see if I need to develop better communication. Perhaps that’s what’s missing, with my spouse and kids.
Let’s see if I need to change my beliefs; my thoughts; my behavioral patterns.
I’ll plan out an action-plan.
I’ll apply it consistently and I’ll get stronger.
Let’s use this opportunity for growth.”

© Counselor Apoorva
Psychologist
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