• “You heard what they said to me? I’m pained.”
• “Are you? Or are you upset?”
• “What’s the difference?”
• “When reality hurts us, it pains us.
  When reality differs to us, we upset ourselves.”
• “But a differing reality is a hurting reality.”
• “No. A hurting reality is when it’s
  physically impossible to be ourselves anymore.
  A differing reality is when ‘what reality is’
  differs to ‘what we expect it to be’.
  We can still be ourselves; but we choose not to.
  Our desire of a specific reality
  becomes an expectation; even a demand.
  People SHOULD speak the ‘right’ way.
  People SHOULD act the ‘right’ way.
  Things SHOULD work the ‘right’ way.
  Situations SHOULD be the ‘right’ way.
  They cross that; and we obsess over it.”
• “Is it wrong to expect the right things?”
• “Surely not.
  But it sucks to expect things to go right
  even when they aren’t in our control.
  People can and will say and do stuff
  that contrasts our desire.
  It doesn’t help not to be ready for difference
  between expectation and actuality.
  What we call ‘right’ is merely a template.
  Nature doesn’t define it. We do.
  As per our needs, desires, beliefs, approach.
  It’s our construct; it may be valid but not solid.
  People and situations aren’t our slaves.
  The reason you are hurt, is because
  you were surprised at their words.
  They shocked you;
  for you anticipated something different;
  something ‘right’.
  On what basis did you do that?
  You assume people will act right
  because you think you need them to be right.
  Yes you do;
  but you don’t need EVERYONE to be right.
  You need only those who’re compatible with you.
  Approach reality without expectations;
  watch its unfolding mindfully; only as data.
  Some will be reasonable; some will be irrational.
  That’s your cue to select
  which relations to cultivate;
  and which to shift to a different level.
  People are only as significant as what
  we make them to be.
  Be mindful about
  whom you award that significance.”

© Counselor Apoorva
Psychologist

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