- ‘Why’re you saying mine isn’t a relationship? Sure; we break up a lot; but we get back together.’
- ‘Only to break up again. Without processing why you broke up. Without growth.’
- ‘But it’s my partner who -’
- ‘Please give yourself a break, sweetheart. I’m sure your partner will say the exact same thing you were about to say. You blame each other. You both claim to be victims. Each one is more mature than the other because, ooh, you both forgive. Give it a rest, seriously. Truth is, both of you need each other. And no, it’s not necessarily due to love.’
- ‘Then why do we need each other?’
- ‘Camouflage! You’re both lazy adult-children. You refuse to grow up. And you’ve ingeniously devised schemes to hide that. You both need someone who’ll tolerate your crap but also create crap for you so that you can play victim. We’re not allowed to tell the “victim” to grow up, are we? Convenient for someone who knows he or she will keep crapping. Of course, you need an equally immature – and thus, needy – creature. You two need a drama-rich environment where both can play a variety of roles to hide your realities: persecutor, rescuer, unsung hero, unrewarded helper, moral cop, to list a few. The pay-off? You both get to develop complaints behind which you can hide! This entire relationship is a game. You want a better relationship? Be better first.’
© Counselor Apoorva
Psychologist
Counselor Apoorva 