Reaction V/S Response

– “What’s reaction versus response?”
– “You see that leakage in the plumbing?”
– “Yes. I’ll wrap a gauze tape around it.”
– “That’s reaction.”
– “And what’d be response?”
– “I’d close the source first.”
– “Oh. Yes. Or another joint will burst. And?”
– “I’ll check the situation before I reply to it.”
– “Yes. Maybe for minor leakages elsewhere.”
– “Or the whole segment needs replacement.”
– “So you’ll go for the full picture.”
– “And I’ll reply to its entirety.”
– “So you don’t answer; you solve.”
– “That’s response.”
– “How does it apply elsewhere in life?”
– “Give me examples where you’d rush to react.”
– “A taunt expects an angry reply.”
– “We can check the necessity for a reply first.”
– “An attack by an enemy expects defense.”
– “Or we retaliate; attack their weak spots.”
– “Failure urges frustration and giving up.”
– “We can choose to see it as education.”
– “So we can give in or step up. It’s a choice.”
– “Situation calls answer. Life wants solution.”
– “Reply to a call for reaction with response?”
– “There you go.”
– “How to pacify the emotional urge to react?”
– “Remember the gauze tape.”
– “What about it?”
– “It’s never the permanent solution.”
– “Oh yes. Soon there’s rupture again.”
– “Another taunt. Or attack. Or failure.”
– “Yes. Reactions call for further reactions.”
– “Reactions stall us in chain reactions.”
– “And we don’t want the same war twice, huh?”
– “We fight to win; not just to brawl.”
– “So real peace is in response, not reaction.”
– “Remember that and you’re gold.”
– “Reaction is living by dramatized scripts.”
– “Response is living free of scripts:
: That’s where growth happens.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
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Are Following A Herd?

– “It’s a trend. You aren’t in it. Why not?”
– “Everyone else is.”
– “That’s why you should be in it.”
– “That’s why I shouldn’t be in it.”
– “You don’t wish success?”
– “Sure I do and winners don’t flock in crowd.”
– “There’s opportunity for everyone.”
– “To run in the race, yes. To win it, no.”
– “Why not?”
– “The summit is narrower than the base.”
– “You think others are idiots?”
– “I think others are trend followers.”
– “You think you’re different?”
– “I think I want to win.”
– “There’s no glory without fight.”
– “I thought it was about success.”
– “There’s no success without competition.”
– “You know the thing about competition?”
– “What?”
– “Same people arrange it and its trophy.”
– “So?”
– “Ever wonder what they get out of it?”
– “You mean someone is making profit here?”
– “How do I get peanut oil?”
– “You grind peanuts in a mill.”
– “Or I declare a competition.”
– “Of grinding peanut oil?”
– “I can toss sensational quotes around.”
– “No success without competition?”
– “I’ll get people to grind gallons of it for me.”
– “What’s the trophy for the fastest grinder?”
– “A jar of an ounce of oil.”
– “Seriously? An ounce?”
– “I’ll wrap a silver foil around the jar.”
– “You’ll grow tons of peanuts? Got a mill?”
– “No; but who said I need to work for that?”
– “Huh?”
– “I’ll set up two more competitions.”
– “Oh. One for farmers and one for engineers.”
– “Who could’ve made same fortune as me.”
– “If only they managed themselves a bit better.”
– “Which they won’t. People love to follow herd.”
– “All you’ll do is to sensationalize it?”
– “And they’ll see it as ‘opportunity’.”
– “As cost of inability to think different?”
– “Not inability. It’s choice. Profiteers thrive on it.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#SuccessQuotes #SuccessMantra #AttitudeQuotes #WinnerMentality #WinnerMindset #BillionaireThinking #MillionaireSaying #PersonalGrowth #LifeGoals #Ambition #Aspiration #InspirationalQuotes #MotivationalQuotes #LifeLessons #StruggleSpeaks #TakingEfforts #ResultsSpeak #Achievement #Accomplishment #Fulfillment #GoalOriented #Discipline #WorkEthics #PersonalCode #Commitment #Dedication #PositiveThinking #ThinkDifferent #ArtOfWinning #WordPorn

“Who Told You You’ll Win?”

– “I don’t think you’ll win.”
– “I get that a lot before I win.”
– “You have a history of failures.”
– “Hard and undeniable.”
– “What makes you think you’ll win?”
– “I hate being a failure.”
– “Most people hate being failures.”
– “I’m not most people.”
– “What do most people do?”
– “They turn self-pity into identity.”
– “What makes you different?”
– “I use that hate as fuel.”
– “For what?”
– “Introspection, exploration, implementation.”
– “What did you introspect?”
– “Elements in me that made me a failure.”
– “What did you explore?”
– “Wrongs in me and ways to turn them right.”
– “What do you implement?”
– “Data about changes I need to make.”
– “Anybody can do it. What’s special in you?”
– “I dare to accept three facts:
: To gain is to change.
: Change is inconvenient; winners don’t care.
: To win is to choose it every step of the way.
– “You have a firm belief you’ll win?”
– “I had a thought. My actions turn it to belief.”

It’s Simple. Just Do What You Can.

– “What is success?”
– “Result of profitable choices.”
– “We don’t always know what’s profitable.”
– “That’s for we fail to explore.”
– “What stops us?”
– “Tendency of scripted reactions.”
– “We react in a predictable pattern?”
– “We react with habitual replies.”
– “For we’re programmed to fear what’s new?”
– “We’re scripted to reject that we can be new.”
– “Key is not to rush to react to situations, huh?”
– “Opportunity reveals itself in that patience.”
– “Not all profitable choices are possible.”
– “Manageable actions make them possible.”
– “We assimilate before we accommodate?”
– “We adapt to make our choices apt.”
– “How can we add new abilities?”
– “We use old abilities to their fullest.”
– “How can old breed new?”
– “Ever climbed a mountain?”
– “Many times.”
– “What do you do at an altitude of 100 feet?”
– “I put one foot in front of the other.”
– “What do you do at 1000 feet?”
– “I put one foot in front of the other.”
– “So what’s the difference?”
– “Nothing.”
– “Nothing; except you’re at a higher place.”
– “So all I do is do what I can at the moment.”
– “We can see the whole journey; obey fear.”
– “Or we can do just what we can manage, now.”
– “Consistent ordinary effort rewards extraordinarily.”

Intelligence V/S Will

– “Teacher, this was a strange competition.”
– “Sure it was.”
– “He was intelligent.”
– “The other wasn’t.”
– “Yet, the intelligent one failed.”
– “And the dumb one found success.”
– “Why the difference?”
– “What was the similarity?”
– “Both had the same choice.”
– “And yet, only the dumb one acted upon it.”
– “Why not the intelligent one?”
– “For he was smart enough to see risks in it.”
– “And the dumb one saw no risks?”
– “He saw risks alright.”
– “But?”
– “He wasn’t smart enough to fear them.”
– “Oh. What’s the learning in it?”
– “What do you think it is? You’re next.”
– “Dive headlong into risks? Being dumb pays?”
– “Oh, no, my dear.”
– “But the dumb one found success.”
– “He got lucky. Question is, why?”
– “Those risks weren’t as big as they seemed.”
– “For now. They may be bigger next time.”
– “So we need to evolve abilities for it.”
– “Happens only when we’re smart.”
– “But first we have to step forward.”
– “Will lets us take that step forward.”
– “And intelligence keeps us moving forward.”
– “Will and intelligence need to be friends.”
– “Which one is greater than the other?”
– “Depends on where you are at present.”
– “Oh, to begin it, I need will.”
– “To end it, you need intelligence.”
– “But it’ll never happen if I never dare.”
– “So will it is.”
– “That’s why they say, fortune favors the bold.”

Liberation!

– “Why don’t you follow him?”
– “Why should I?”
– “Everybody does.”
– “And are they going anywhere?”
– “What?”
– “They follow him. Makes him their leader.”
– “Yes. So?”
– “Where’s he leading them?”
– “Toward their betterment.”
– “And how do they plan to arrive there?”
– “He’ll liberate them.”
– “That’s the first lapse.”
– “What? Why?”
– “My friend, liberation can’t be given.”
– “Yes; liberation can only be taken.”
– “Let me guess. He wants you to fight.”
– “Yes. Take what belongs to us.”
– “You mean steal it from those who have it.”
– “For they stole it first.”
– “That’s what he says?”
– “That’s what we know. And yes, he says it.”
– “For he knows what you’ll like to believe.”
– “There’s no growth without fight.”
– “That’s the second lapse.”
– “What? Why?”
– “You want growth?”
– “Of course we do.”
– “You see these two stones here?”
– “Yes.”
– “Growth isn’t when you strike them together.”
– “Growth is when I join them together.”
– “Yes.”
– “That’s what he’s doing to us. Join us as one.”
– “To form you all into one solid rock.”
– “Exactly.”
– “Only to toss that rock at his opponent.”
– “What opponent?”
– “The same people he tells you to see as foes.”
– “Why’d he do that?”
– “Simple. He’s clearing competition.”
– “If he’s using us, we’ll stop him.”
– “You can’t.”
– “Why not?”
– “The rock will break apart when it hits.”
– “Oh… And he knows it.”
– “He’s counting on it.”
– “So can there be no real leader, ever?”
– “Sure there can be.”
– “How will we know him?”
– “Look at the mirror. And ask a question.”
– “What?”
– “Do we grow by fighting? Or evolving?”
– “Evolution is a choice, huh?”
– “You make that choice, you’re the leader.”

Pride V/S Self-Respect: The Flow Of Self-Assurance

– “Both began brilliant.”
– “They ended up different.”
– “One soared gloriously.”
– “One failed miserably.”
– “Why the difference?”
– “Self-respect won. Pride lost.”
– “Where’s the difference?”
– “Where’s the similarity?”
– “Both are notions of self-assurance.”
– “Except the direction of it is in opposites.”
– “Please elaborate.”
– “They both began with a win.”
– “And yet their reactions to it were different.”
– “I remember one was silent.”
– “I remember the other was exuberant.”
– “The silent one introspected.”
– “For he knew his win had flaws.”
– “Which’d widen in future, absent awareness.”
– “He never took his strength for granted.”
– “He accepted change and growth.”
– “He toughened his win with conscious action.”
– “Action built his self-assurance.”
– “Turning it into self-respect.”
– “The exuberant one boasted.”
– “For he saw no flaws in his win.”
– “Absent awareness, they widened in future.”
– “He denied it; took himself for granted.”
– “He rejected change and growth.”
– “He weakened his win with inaction.”
– “Self-deception crippled his self-assurance.”
– “Turning it into pride.”
– “In pride, self-assurance decays.”
– “In self-respect, self-assurance evolves.”

Stereotypes!

I don’t believe in stereotypes.
I don’t believe that they exist.
And if at all they ever did,
Then they were only a malfunction in our observation of self and others.
Sure there’re people who live as generic units of a group they belong to.
“Men”. “Women”. A particular race and religion and caste.
But then again, it’s like a subscription.
You use it as an exterior; maybe for safety.
People see that exterior and they make their assumptions.
That way you protect your uniqueness from them.
Or even from yourself.
But that uniqueness is always there.
No matter how generic you try to appear.People think that subscription is a convenience.
Just adhere to a generic idea and live on.
Saves them the trouble of exploring their uniqueness.
They end up suffocating themselves.
Place yourself in a stereotype and you bind yourself with its boundaries.
Which were never too open to begin with.
That’s how you halt your growth.
Worse, they never allow you to express that uniqueness in you.
Especially not when you want to.
You fail to express your potential.
Personally. Professionally. Socially.
And worst, in relationships.
Stereotypes try to eat us up.
And of course we stop letting them.
It’s survival instinct of self.
Stereotypes always fail themselves, eventually.They say stereotypes are unfolding now.
They like to take credit for it.
They think they made it happen.
That’s funny.
It was only a matter of time people would reject stereotypes.
It was only a matter of time that men would realize how they’ve been duping themselves with glorified lack of skills at cooking and cleaning and child-care and emotional expressions.
It was only a matter of time that anyone who’s ever adhered to a group’s rigid mentality would gasp for oxygen and look out of the box and see better ideas of life and reject those boundaries.
Time was always going to kill stereotypes.
We’re just watching it happening, that’s all.

Entitlement: “To Have Opinions” V/S “To Voice Out Opinions”

– “I’m entitled to my opinions.”
– “You’re entitled to have opinions.”
– “That’s what I said.”
– “No; there’s a difference.”
– “What difference?”
– “You aren’t always entitled to voice out.”
– “Why not? I have freedom of speech.”
– “Freedom comes with responsibilities.”
– “I’m aware of my responsibilities.”
– “Are you, really?”
– “Why do you imply I’m not?”
– “I’ve noticed the quickness in your speech.”
– “And that says I’m not aware?”
– “It says you don’t take time to think.”
– “What do I need time to think for?”
– “Speech is action. It calls for reaction.”
– “I don’t care if it upsets people.”
– “That attitude is great if you upset imbeciles.”
– “I love it when disorder is challenged.”
– “And love blinds us.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Check if it sets you into a habit.”
– “Why’d that be a problem?”
– “It’ll rush you to see innocents as imbeciles.”
– “You mean I might not see the difference?”
– “I mean you may not want to see a difference.”
– “My speech is fire. Fire lightens things up.”
– “Despite of that light, fire is absent vision.”
– “It may burn the wet with the dry, huh?”
– “Such as innocents mistaken for imbeciles.”
– “For causing disturbance is addictive?”
– “It feels powerful. Power blinds many.”
– “Oh. I need to be careful of my speech.”
– “It’s an arrow. When can you control it?”
– “Only before I loosen it. Got it. Thank you.”

Let The Wound Close First

– “I was irrational to her.”
– “And she’s angry at you.”
– “She should be a bit lenient.”
– “Her reaction is her choice to make.”
– “So it’s her choice to get angry.”
– “And what does that tell you?”
– “I can’t be blamed for her choice of reaction.”
– “Tells you that you don’t need to feel guilty.”
– “It’s awesome when truth is so convenient.”
– “Until the reality behind truth slaps us hard.”
– “Yes. It’s slapping me hard right now.”
– “And you’re talking to me to know why.”
– “What am I really responsible for?”
– “For giving her a reason to make choices.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Although her reaction is her choice-.”
– “I’m responsible for the action behind it?”
– “For that part was in your control.”
– “And I chose to hurt her.”
– “Yes. And you can’t handle that truth.”
– “Is that why I demand her leniency?”
– “You’re actually hoping she’ll deny you that.”
– “So that I can blame it all on her?”
– “And help yourself feel free of guilt.”
– “So it’s a game I’m playing with her.”
– “Which is actually crueler.”
– “I’m hurting her all over again, huh?”
– “And you know it’ll only go on adding up.”
– “What should I really do?”
– “Do what’s in your control.”
– “Apologize?”
– “Actively.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Try to undo or better what you’ve done.”
– “Will she forgive me?”
– “It’s her choice; you will not force it.”
– “For that’d mean I’m prioritizing my relief?”
– “And rejecting the same need to her.”
– “I guess I was doing that till now.”
– “Least you can do is to stop it now.”
– “I want this to heal.”
– “Let the wound close first.”

The Lovable Chaos

– “I hate you.”
– “Do you know why?”
– “You’re the Ace of this clan.”
– “And that justifies hate?”
– “You think less of people like me.”
– “Do I? Or is it you who likes to think so?”
– “Success came easy to you.”
– “Absolutely. I made it easy.”
– “You’re more privileged than me.”
– “Absolutely. I created those privileges.”
– “Not at all; they were given to you.”
– “So basically my win is invalid.”
– “And my failure is justifiable.”
– “I hope those thoughts help you find peace.”
– “No, they don’t.”
– “Then you gotta change your thinking, pal.”
– “Oh? Enlighten me, you arrogant prick.”
– “Tell me. When did you begin to hate me?”
– “You see that boy there?”
– “The one who sells ‘strength’ herbs?”
– “He told me how unequal the competition is.”
– “Of course he did.”
– “What do you mean?”
– “It’s called creating market-place.”
– “Oh, he wanted me to buy those herbs?”
– “To beat the ‘arrogant prick’, yes.”
– “I didn’t let him fool me.”
– “Sure. Someone else had already fooled you.”
– “What do you mean? Who?”
– “That older boy over there. The fan-favorite.”
– “He told me not to take those herbs.”
– “Did he tell you to take more efforts, instead?”
– “No…”
– “Of course. He said what you’d like to believe.”
– “Oh yeah? And what’d that be?”
– “That you’re a helpless victim, for whom-”
– “Efforts gain no reward-”
– “So let’s find peace in being less, huh?”
– “There’s nobility in poverty, you arrogant pr-”
– “And there’s sensationalism in hating me?”
– “I… He… You…”
– “He’s creating just another market-place.”
– “Oh yeah? What is he selling?”
– “A lovable chaos.”
– “What’s his trick?”
– “He keeps you and I engaged in a war.”
– “And how does he profit?”
– “He wants what I want; just without competition.”

Pooling Positivity

– “What is achievement?”
– “Result of mechanized investment.”
– “We put to use what we have?”
– “That’s how it grows.”
– “What if I have nothing?”
– “Got a body that can move?”
– “Yes.”
– “Got a brain that can think?”
– “Yes.”
– “That’s enough to begin with.”
– “But what about knowledge?”
– “Got a mouth that can ask questions?”
– “Yes.”
– “Got eyes and ears that can catch answers?”
– “Yes. I can get data.”
– “Implement; check results. That’s knowledge.”
– “But is it really enough?”
– “Where are we right now?”
– “Your garden. It’s beautiful.”
– “It wasn’t always.”
– “How did you achieve this beauty?”
– “Remember my dad’s garden?”
– “Yes. It was ugly.”
– “This beauty came from that ugliness.”
– “Really?”
– “My dad focused on what wasn’t there.”
– “And what about you?”
– “I focused on what was there.”
– “What? All plants were runts.”
– “And yet, each one had one peculiarity.”
– “What was it?”
– “At least one branch, enthusiastic to grow.”
– “You snipped them all off?”
– “And I grafted them.”
– “You pooled positivity…”
– “And I discarded negativity.”
– “So it’s about right focus.”
– “It’s about choice of attention.”
– “I need to stop focusing on what’s ugly.”
– “Focus on what’s lovable. Give love to it.”
– “So beauty and rot have their own gravity.”
– “It’s a choice where you wish to gravitate.”

“Why Are You Still With Me?”

– “Why are you still with me?”
– “I have no reason not to be.”
– “You know what I’ve done.”
– “And for that I’ll try to forgive you.”
– “But I’m not asking for forgiveness.”
– “I feel no need to wait till you ask.”
– “I’ll never ask. I want to be punished.”
– “Atonement is your choice. Not mine.”
– “Why is it my choice and not yours?”
– “For growth is a personal choice.”
– “What if I can’t grow anymore?”
– “Growth is always possible.”
– “I don’t see that possibility.”
– “It’s a choice not to see it.”
– “Fine. I choose not to see it.”
– “A poor try to encourage me to leave.”
– “Shouldn’t you be with better souls?”
– “Sure. But I choose to stay a little longer.”
– “Why? I’ve made my choice.”
– “Love is in keeping choices open for you.”
– “You think I might change my mind?”
– “I’ll keep that choice possible for you.”
– “I might never choose it.”
– “I promise to leave as soon as it’s sure.”
– “I’ve forgotten to smile.”
– “But you remember what made you smile.”
– “Who am I?”
– “You’re everything positive you ever did.”
– “What about everything negative I did?”
– “Did it resonate with you? Did it feel… you?”
– “No… No, it didn’t… Oh my god…”
– “Then that’s not you.”
– “Then who was that?”
– “A shadow.”
– “A shadow never leaves.”
– “It does, when you shine light on it.”
– “How do I do that?”
– “Do things that put a smile on your face.”
– “Can I really do that? Don’t say it’s a choice.”
– “Real sin is in never doing what’s positive.”
– “You’re impossible.”
– “I’m not leaving till you act; better get to it.”

Perfection Cannot Be Outsourced

– “Why don’t you delegate?”
– “I do. Just not in this case.”
– “Why not?”
– “I want perfection here.”
– “And you think only you’re perfect?”
– “Not at all. Anyone can be perfect.”
– “Then why-”
– “I don’t want their idea of perfection.”
– “Oh?”
– “I want my perfection.”
– “Perfection differs individually?”
– “Of course. It’s a variable; not a constant.”
– “How so?”
– “How do you know something is perfect?”
– “Well, I feel a sense of completion.”
– “So it’s a neurochemical pulse.”
– “Yes, to put it in sheer realistic terms.”
– “Brains come off the same production line?”
– “No. They differ.”
– “And so does what elicits that pulse.”
– “So you chase that pulse?”
– “Nobody else will find it. It’s mine to find.”
– “How do you find it?”
– “I stay myself. Let it stream out.”
– “Perfection is one’s best self-reflection?”
– “Perfection is finding self by being yourself.”

Argument V/S Achievement: Stay Focused On Your Goals

– “You got results. We didn’t.”
– “Aim was equal. Action was different.”
– “How?”
– “You two argued. I took action.”
– “He didn’t agree with me.”
– “As you didn’t agree with him.”
– “His ideas wouldn’t have worked.”
– “He thought the same about yours.”
– “And that was reason for debate.”
– “It was your choice to see it as such.”
– “Did we have another choice?”
– “You could’ve agreed to disagree.”
– “I don’t like to back down.”
– “Did you want results?”
– “Yes.”
– “Did you get results?”
– “No.”
– “And that means you backed down.”
– “Huh?”
– “You prioritized argument over achievement.”
– “But he was so wrong…”
– “Taking him to your honeymoon, are you?”
– “Hell no.”
– “Were you sure about your ideas?”
– “Hell yes.”
– “Then why give a rat’s ass what he thinks?”
– “Oh.”
– “You can debate or you can act.”
– “Can’t do both, huh?”
– “You still want appreciation for your ideas?”
– “There’s a part of me that still craves.”
– “Then let the results speak; not words.”
– “Yes… they can argue with my words…”
– “But not with your results. Take action.”

Brainwashing: How It Works

– “They declared those girls heretics.”
– “They were going to burn them alive.”
– “What did you do those imbeciles, Teacher?”
– “I’m happy you kids were too far to see.”
– “They ran like cockroaches under sun.”
– “Let’s just say I encouraged reconsiderations.”
– “Those girls were scholars.”
– “Sure they were. Young scientists, actually.”
– “All they wanted was betterment for all.”
– “Including those who fear betterment.”
– “How can anyone fear betterment?”
– “What did you sense in the crowd’s rants?”
– “They actually believed in their load of crap.”
– “They were brainwashed by that loudmouth.”
– “But how could they believe lies so truly?”
– “Recognized anyone in that crowd, Child?”
– “I saw the kid kicked out by the other clan.”
– “Why was he kicked out?”
– “Indiscipline. Laziness. No learning spirit.”
– “Someone who excuses his failures?”
– “Yes. But loves to play victim as well.”
– “What if he’s told he isn’t to blame for it?”
– “I think he’d love to hear that.”
– “Why do you say that, Child?”
– “He blamed his teachers for his failures.”
– “How did he do that?”
– “He tried to set one’s home on fire.”
– “So he loves rationalization of his violence?”
– “I think now I know why brainwashing is easy.”
– “Why, Child?”
– “The crowd was full of the likes of him.”
– “Souls for whom failure is norm?”
– “For they want to avoid effort for betterment.”
– “Souls who’ll fight to maintain that norm?”
– “For it’s their comfort zone.”
– “And yet, they’d blame it on others?”
– “They love violence; they like an excuse for it.”
– “They’d target winners like those girls?”
– “Especially; they saw a threat to that norm.”
– “People believe what they’d like to believe.”
– “So brainwashing incepts no new thoughts.”
– “No. it simply caresses old excuses.”

Success: Making Comfort Zones Uncomfortable

– “You’re successful. I envy you.”
– “Now why would you?”
– “You’re free of comfort zones.”
– “Am I?”
– “They’re hideous and I hate them.”
– “Why?”
– “They’re enemies living within me.”
– “Oh, that. Yeah, that sucks.”
– “How did you rid yourself of those?”
– “I befriended them.”
– “Huh?”
– “So that I could betray them.”
– “Huh?”
– “Beats getting betrayed by them.”
– “Sounds clever. But how?”
– “I did what they’d do to me.”
– “Learning from the enemy. Smart.”
– “They attack as a surprise.”
– “Yes. How did you cancel that?”
– “By anticipating their moves.”
– “So you actually let them hurt you first?”
– “I made a log. Kept records.”
– “Learned the cycles of your system, huh?”
– “I realized they wait for me around corners.”
– “With stones in hand to bash your head?”
– “I questioned myself, how did they know?”
– “Yes. How did they know you were coming?”
– “They must be watching me, right?”
– “Yes. Right when you’d choose a goal.”
– “And they must be using a different path.”
– “Yes. That’s how they’d arrive before you.”
– “They were using space-time against me.”
– “The duration between inspiration and action.”
– “They knew when I’d be weak during that.”
– “So you canceled that duration?”
– “I shortened it as much as I could.”
– “Yes; we still need time for knowledge.”
– “But I wouldn’t waste a second after that.”
– “Never let time settle you into inertia, huh?”
– “Act when inspiration hits, my friend.”
– “And keep it alive with progressive action.”
– “Leave your comfort zones dumbfounded.”

Reaction Is Retaliation. Response is Solution.

– “Today’s betrayal was a challenge to you.”
– “It was an appeal to me.”
– “An appeal?”
– “Actions expect reactions.”
– “You didn’t react.”
– “To react is a choice.”
– “You made no choice.”
– “I made a different choice.”
– “To stay silent for pacification?”
– “To be vigilant for information.”
– “A challenge has information?”
– “Riches of it; if we make two checks.”
– “What’s the first check?”
– “What part of me feels challenged.”
– “What part of you felt challenged today?”
– “My notions of reason and rationale.”
– “What’s the second check?”
– “What part of me is actually challenged.”
– “And what was that for you, today?”
– “My tendency to trust uninformed.”
– “It helps you know yourself correctly?”
– “And apply what I know efficiently.”
– “So you focus on response over reaction.”
– “I focus on growth over retaliation.”
– “What’s your response for today?”
– “Learn to trust in informed ways.”
– “What could’ve been a reaction?”
– “Useless violent arguments.”
– “Why useless?”
– “I’m sure they had contingencies prepped.”
– “People break trust in informed ways, huh?”
– “Reactions motivate further reactions.”
– “A cycle of expected moves that you break?”
– “Response frees us of scripts. That’s growth.”

Achievement V/S Argument

– “There were three of us.”
– “Yes. You, me and that guy.”
– “You got results. We didn’t.”
– “You and he began an argument.”
– “Which you left. Why did you leave?”
– “I wanted achievement; not argument.”
– “I had the same idea as you about things.”
– “Except we used it differently.”
– “I stayed there and argued it.”
– “I moved on and implemented it.”
– “But he made me argue.”
– “No; he stated his disagreement, that’s all.”
– “But he challenged me to advocate it.”
– “And you accepted that challenge.”
– “You mean it was my choice?”
– “Did he point a gun at your head?”
– “No; but his disagreement was so irrational.”
– “A threat to blood supply to your brain?”
– “It was important I put him in his place.”
– “He was in his place.”
– “Huh?”
– “You dragged him up to your level.”
– “What?”
– “His argument was a call to you for that.”
– “And… I took that call… Oh.”
– “Don’t feel too bad. Happens to many.”
– “Now I understand why you left.”
– “Why did I?”
– “You knew results talk louder than words.”
– “My friend, he simply didn’t exist for me.”
– “You canceled him out immediately, huh?”
– “I repeat. I was there to achieve. End of file.”
– “But what made it so easy for you?”
– “Simple. I’m too lazy to argue.”
– “Lazy?”
– “Can’t estimate the energy it’ll take.”
– “Yes.”
– “But I know the energy implementation takes.”
– “Focus on what’s really profitable, huh?”
– “Consciously manage responses, my friend.”
– “That’s success?”
– “That’s life.”

Mindful Living: What Do We Let In?

– “Teacher, you’re highly creative.”
– “Thank you, my Child.”
– “What’s the secret?”
– “Ever observed the river nearby?”
– “I take a walk on the bank every evening.”
– “What do you think of it?”
– “Makes me think of… fertility.”
– “Why?”
– “The waters are so pure and live.”
– “Reflects in the taste, huh?”
– “And also in the health of our crops.”
– “Know the origin of that fertility?”
– “No, Teacher.”
– “Know the origin of the river?”
– “Those distant mountains, there.”
– “Yes. Rich minerals. Ever been there?”
– “No. Elders warn not to.”
– “Know why not?”
– “They say the gods don’t like it.”
– “The gods there like us alright.”
– “Then why do the elders say that?”
– “The gods don’t like the trash we’d make.”
– “Yes… It’d corrupt the river at its birth.”
– “And we wouldn’t get this fertility.”
– “Now I know why you’re so creative.”
– “Oh? Care to tell me?”
– “You’re highly conscious and cautious.”
– “Of what?”
– “Of what you nourish yourself with.”
– “What do I nourish myself with?”
– “Only what’s pure and healthy.”
– “Like those minerals in that water?”
– “And unlike the trash we’d make.”
– “It’s not just the food for body, Child.”
– “I know, Teacher. It’s also about mind.”
– “We’re what we allow to step in.”
– “For our nature shall always reflect it, yes?”
– “Watch violence; we desire to act it out.”
– “Hear violence; we desire to react to it.”
– “But sense creation; we aspire to create.”
– “And absorb ideas; we aspire to produce.”
– “It’s a choice, Child. Choose wisely.”

Positive Thinking: A Lie?

– “I need to think positive.”
– “And you can’t.”
– “For I don’t feel positive.”
– “Of course you don’t.”
– “Why can’t I?”
– “Thoughts and feelings advocate each other.”
– “Yes, we think how we feel.”
– “And we feel how we think.”
– “They’re interdependent.”
– “That’s why they can’t change each other.”
– “Agreed. Positive thinking is crap.”
– “It wouldn’t be, if you understand it fully.”
– “Enlighten me.”
– “It’s never just a mental activity.”
– “So we need an external factor?”
– “One that puts this energy to use.”
– “What energy?”
– “This negativity that you feel.”
– “Why is it energy?”
– “Your mind tells you there’s a situation.”
– “Which needs to be handled.”
– “Which you don’t.”
– “No I don’t.”
– “You build a dam of inaction, instead.”
– “And that restricts the flow?”
– “When rises up when it can’t go straight.”
– “Gathering potential. Oh, Energy. Got it.”
– “You feel that pressure as negativity.”
– “So I need to take action?”
– “Of course you do. Open the dam.”
– “That will relieve my stress?”
– “You use energy; it stops bothering you.”
– “But how can I act without feeling positive?”
– “Who said you need to feel positive to act?”
– “Huh? I don’t?”
– “Would you hunt for food on a full belly?”
– “No… I’ll do that only when I’m hungry.”
– “You’re hungry now. There’s a crisis.”
– “Yes; but it scares me into inaction.”
– “Fear can cripple you or give you wings.”
– “Oh. So it’s my choice to let it cripple me?”
– “And you can always change your choice.”

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Growth: Today’s Achievement, Tomorrow’s Investment

– “I read your success story.”
– “I see.”
– “It’s so inspirational.”
– “Thank you.”
– “You made so many sacrifices.”
– “No, I didn’t.”
– “Oh, you’re so humble.”
– “No; I’m practical.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Sacrifice is loss. I just made investments.”
– “You won many gold medals in past.”
– “Sweet memories.”
– “But you sold them to start new ventures.”
– “I needed money; didn’t have any.”
– “Didn’t they have any sentimental value?”
– “Sure they had.”
– “Then how could you part ways with them?”
– “You can’t eat gold.”
– “Oh. Yes. But what about the value?”
– “Cost of future success outweighed it.”
– “Was it worth it?”
– “Sure. I love what I’m now.”
– “More than what you were?”
– “Absolutely.”
– “So everyone should do the same?”
– “I’d waste no time deciding it for others.”
– “It’s their choice, huh?”
– “Always.”
– “Suppose the first reason wasn’t there.”
– “Meaning, what if I had food to eat?”
– “Yes. Would you still do it?”
– “I don’t know. But I can tell you one thing.”
– “Yes?”
– “I’ve never clung to past achievements.”
– “Cycled them back in the hustle, did you?”
– “I wanted gains; not just memoirs.”
– “For it wasn’t just about achievements, huh?”
– “No. It was always about growth.”

Norms: Let’s Be Realistic

– “They say you’re the Ace in this clan.”
– “I’ve heard that rumor too.”
– “Rumor… That’s modest.”
– “I’m sure someone else is always better.”
– “Modest and down to earth.”
– “May I help you?”
– “I had an observation. Made me curious.”
– “Hope it’s not me.”
– “Remember the foreign archer yesterday?”
– “Sure.”
– “Everyone mocked him. But not you.”
– “Oh dear, it’s me.”
– “You were focused. Watching keenly.”
– “Had an opportunity to learn. Took it.”
– “What opportunity?”
– “Why were you all mocking him?”
– “He held his bow horizontal.”
– “Contrasting how we grip it vertical?”
– “That was silly.”
– “That was educational.”
– “Where was the learning opportunity?”
– “He got the job done. Hit the mark.”
– “His method was out of norms.”
– “I repeat. He hit the mark.”
– “You believe that excuses forgetting norms?”
– “I believe that displays limits of those norms.”
– “For a foreigner got results differently?”
– “Proving results can be achieved differently.”
– “Meaning norms are useless?”
– “Meaning norms cannot be absolute.”
– “You’ll practice archery that way now?”
– “Not as replacement; but surely as addition.”
– “So you’ll still respect our norms?”
– “Same as I’ll remember their limits.”
– “I see no limits to our norms.”
– “What’s the standard length of our bows?”
– “Five lengths.”
– “Imagine being stuck in a dwarf tunnel.”
– “Only three lengths in height?”
– “But more than five lengths in width.”
– “We’ll be at a disadvantage.”
– “But that foreigner will have an advantage.”
– “Oh.”
– “Probably for he was free of ideas we cling to.”
– “Proving he’s that better someone, huh?”
– “A proof I’ll hate to have. Hence, adaptation.”

Emotional Management: A Game Of Tetris

– “What’s emotional management?”
– “Remember the video game Tetris?”
– “I kinda forgot.”
– “Imagine a vertical rectangle of space.”
– “Hmm… Shapes keep cascading down, yes?”
– “Yes. Tetrominoes. Seven of them?”
– “S, Z, T, L, Mirrored L, Line, and Square…”
– “Right. Each one, made of four squares.”
– “We can’t resist their fall, can we?”
– “No; but we can manage that fall.”
– “By rotating the shapes, yes?”
– “And by moving them left or right.”
– “I never got the point of the game.”
– “What’ll happen if we do nothing?”
– “Well, those shapes will pile up.”
– “On top of each other?”
– “And eventually, crap hits the fan…”
– “And then, game over.”
– “And our goal is to avoid that?”
– “Goal is to keep that space clear.”
– “By choosing how they rest at the bottom.”
– “And trying to make them fit together.”
– “I remember the pile would clear-”
– “If we could form a solidity, yes.”
– “What’s it got to do with emotions?”
– “Experiences are like those shapes.”
– “They keep coming, huh? Can’t stop.”
– “Yes. And they’re formless, actually.”
– “But we shape them with our perceptions?”
– “And pile them up at the bottom of mind.”
– “Emotional management is to clear that pile?”
– “If we don’t want crap to hit the fan, yes.”
– “We can rotate and move these shapes?”
– “Sure. It’s about managing placement.”
– “How to rotate an emotion?”
– “Check the situation from all sides.”
– “Hmm. To realize hidden aspects of it.”
– “That gives us a perspective.”
– “And where do we place them in the pile?”
– “Where they’d fit with the rest.”
– “So we accommodate them with us?”
– “For our goal is to adapt and accept.”
– “What if we can’t find a fit?”
– “Tells us our beliefs don’t let us adapt.”
– “What do we do then?”
– “Replace them with better ideas.”
– “Can’t do that in Tetris…”
– “Can do that in real life. Use it.”
– “What’s the real challenge here?”
– “Don’t get locked with the predicament.”
– “Rather, focus on its placement. Great.”

Confidence V/S Arrogance: Know The Difference

– “Teacher, have you seen our Ace?”
– “Why, dear?”
– “The guest Teacher was angry at him. Today’s lesson was about archery. Halfway through, Teacher asked us, ‘Do you have what it takes to beat this?’ Our Ace immediately replied, ‘I believe I can achieve anything.’ The Teacher called it his arrogance. Our Ace remained calm; but didn’t apologize either. The Teacher finished the lesson, and left.”
– “Interesting turn of events.”
– “Was our Ace wrong, Teacher?”
– “It depends. What did he do later?”
– “He took his bow and arrows and left.”
– “To hunt?”
– “No; to practice what we learned.”
– “Hasn’t come back yet, huh?”
– “No, Teacher.”
– “In that case, he wasn’t wrong.”
– “He wasn’t arrogant?”
– “No. Just confident.”
– “Please elaborate.”
– “Growth asks for two elements. Integrity and humility. To grow is to believe you can. To grow is also to know you aren’t there yet. His speech spoke of his integral belief. It’d have been mere arrogance if it remained unsupported with action. But he remained humble about his lacks. And immediately chose actions to overcome those lacks. Belief leads to action. Action confirms that belief. He chose both. Validating his confidence.”
– “Oh. Why was the Teacher angry, then?”
– “Not all enter our lives to teach we can. Some come to make us believe we can’t. They come to showcase their prowess. Rather than encourage our progress. They’d always reject our confidence. The Ace knew it. That’s why he neither replied nor apologized. He discarded the Teacher on the spot. He remained in the session only to get data. He knew his real Teacher was his action only.”

When They Leave…

– “He left.”
– “I saw.”
– “I… thought he’d stay.”
– “I know.”
– “He didn’t look back.”
– “I guess he wanted to make it easy.”
– “Did he always know?”
– “Know what?”
– “That he wasn’t gonna be here for long?”
– “Not everyone comes to stay.”
– “But did he know?”
– “What difference does it make?”
– “It does, for me.”
– “Why?”
– “He helped me find myself.”
– “I know you see it that way.”
– “I hoped to share what I found, with him.”
– “Did you ask if he wanted that?”
– “Why… wouldn’t he?”
– “Maybe he didn’t like what you found.”
– “You mean he liked the old me?”
– “A sculptor doesn’t like all his sculptures.”
– “I’m sure that’s not it.”
– “Why?”
– “The smile on his face, when…”
– “When the sculpture was complete?”
– “Yes. Like, I was his best sculpture.”
– “Maybe that’s why he left.”
– “Meaning?”
– “His role in your life was over.”
– “Was that what it was? A role?”
– “They say life is a drama, dear.”
– “Who was the main character?”
– “In your story? You.”
– “And in his story?”
– “Him. Just like everyone else.”
– “So we all shape each other?”
– “It’s a choice.”
– “What’s my choice now?”
– “Acceptance.”
– “Accept that his role is over?”
– “And yours is still in play. Move on. Live it.”

Before You Feel Anything For Them, Know Them.

– “You’re an achiever.”
– “I try.”
– “You must’ve made good contacts.”
– “I try.”
– “Ever misjudged people’s characters?”
– “Not in recent past.”
– “How do you know if you like them?”
– “We don’t know it; we feel it.”
– “But we don’t always know what we feel.”
– “And we don’t know if it’s the right feel.”
– “Exactly. So how do you get to know?”
– “New people are like untried dishes.”
– “I see. We look at a new dish, and…”
– “It brings us three possibilities.”
– “We like it. We don’t. Or we aren’t sure.”
– “I’d state it a bit differently.”
– “What’d you say?”
– “We THINK we’ll like it or we won’t.”
– “Yes. Why do we think like that?”
– “We notice certain aspects of the dish.”
– “Such as color and look and consistency?”
– “And we relate it with something from past.”
– “For we’ve tasted dishes before.”
– “And that tells me what I’m searching for.”
– “Or what you’re hoping to avoid.”
– “Precisely. So it’s not about the dish, see?”
– “It’s about us. Our expectations.”
– “So I do with people what I do with dishes.”
– “Which is?”
– “I don’t empty the whole bowl in my plate.”
– “Oh. You taste a spoonful first.”
– “A check. A manageable exposure.”
– “To be widened or closed in future, yes?”
– “With conscious considerations.”
– “So you avoid immediate expectations, huh?”
– “Same as I avoid any compulsion to self.”
– “What’s that?”
– “Liking and disliking is mostly scripted.”
– “Yes; it’s like we WANT to like or dislike.”
– “Relics in cognition. All scripts, mostly.”
– “You maintain awareness. Smart.”
– “I like living mindfully.”

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Belief: Our Best Strength Or Our Worst Weakness?

– “Teacher? I’m wondering…”
– “About what, my Child?”
– “Entities that equal as opposites.”
– “There’re plenty.”
– “I’ve identified many; but one eludes me.”
– “What’s the criteria?”
– “It’s equal as strength and weakness both.”
– “Oh, easy. It’s belief, my Child.”
– “Belief equals as strength and weakness?”
– “What is belief, Child?”
– “A thought held as truth.”
– “A thought held unquestioned?”
– “Yes, Teacher.”
– “When do we leave things unquestioned?”
– “There are two scenarios.”
– “Name the first.”
– “When we’re done questioning.”
– “And find the answer suits our taste.”
– “Yes, Teacher.”
– “Name the second scenario.”
– “When any question feels unnecessary.”
– “For we immediately find it to our taste.”
– “Yes, Teacher.”
– “Either way, it’s left out of conscious turmoil.”
– “And that makes it a strength?”
– “Why not? It’s a drive. A force. A power.”
– “It sure has affectivity to it. But Teacher…”
– “Why is it a weakness then, yes, Child?”
– “Yes, please?”
– “Is fire a strength?”
– “Sure; we can cook with it.”
– “Or we may end up burning the food.”
– “If we don’t snuff it out in time, yes.”
– “Left unchecked, powers burn their holder.”
– “So belief is strength with finite applicability.”
– “Wisdom is to know its limit and accept it.”
– “But rejecting a belief will leave us disabled.”
– “That’s why we need flexibility of adaptation.”
– “So it’s a choice to switch to better beliefs?”
– “Know what’s the ultimate power, Child?”
– “What, Teacher?”
– “Awareness and maintenance of that choice.”

Ways And Walks

– “Is there a perfect way?”
– “Sure; but know what’s perfection.”
– “What’s perfection?”
– “There’re two elements to it.”
– “What’s the first?”
– “Something you can sync with.”
– “Compatibility. What’s the second?”
– “Something that syncs with you.”
– “And help me bring out the best in me.”
– “True.”
– “So perfection is subjective?”
– “An individual’s unique best setting.”
– “And what if we don’t find such a way?”
– “Then there’s the way we’re on now.”
– “But what if it can’t sync with us?”
– “The way isn’t the only thing we got.”
– “What else do we have?”
– “The walk.”
– “The method of working?”
– “Yes. All creatures can walk, climb, swim.”
– “But they all have their own preferences.”
– “Do they stop when they don’t get that?”
– “No. They keep going the same way.”
– “But with their own style of it, yes?”
– “Yes. A style that works for them.”
– “You’re on a wrong road? Change the walk.”
– “We’ll arrive at the goal at different times.”
– “Accept that it’s a journey; not a race.”

Maturity: Agreement V/S Acceptance

– “Teacher?”
– “Yes, my Child?”
– “Is maturity agreement to disagreement?”
– “That’s what it is in external action.”
– “Is it anything other than external action?”
– “Sure. There’s inner action. The mind.”
– “What is maturity as inner action?”
– “Maturity is acceptance of disagreement.”
– “Acceptance differs to agreement?”
– “Sure it does.”
– “What is agreement?”
– “Agreement is to register you can let it go.”
– “And acceptance?”
– “Acceptance is to know you never needed it.”
– “Do we never need people to agree with us?”
– “There are times we do.”
– “And maturity is to know when we don’t?”
– “And to enjoy the simplicity in that.”
– “I note many can agree. Not all can accept.”
– “A simple choice, chosen to be seen as hard.”
– “Why do people find it difficult?”
– “Many live unconsciously.”
– “What is living unconsciously?”
– “Can you hold your breath for five seconds?”
– “Sure, Teacher.”
– “Can you do so when you’re asleep?”
– “No. Breathing is default while we’re asleep.”
– “Many develop such defaults while awake.”
– “You mean unprocessed beliefs, of course.”
– “Yes, Child. Such as default insecurities.”
– “Insecurities that function as constants?”
– “Deemed as necessary as breathing.”
– “And maintained as unconsciously as it.”
– “And you know what happens then, Child?”
– “Signals are read wrong; yes, Teacher?”
– “All disagreements are deemed dangerous.”
– “Hence the refusal of acceptance.”
– “What did you learn, Child?”
– “Be mindful. Live consciously. Process all.”
– “And that’s maturity.”

Talent!

– “You won in life. I lost the game.”
– “I recall we began same.”
– “You had a talent.”
– “So did you.”
– “No; although I thought I had one.”
– “What did you do with it?”
– “It was proven I was wrong.”
– “How?”
– “I exhibited my skill.”
– “What was the result?”
– “People laughed.”
– “And that was proof?”
– “Yes.”
– “Of what?”
– “I was a failure.”
– “Facing failure is same as being failure?”
– “What’s the difference?”
– “Here. What’s in my hand?”
– “A stone.”
– “Does that make me a stone?”
– “No. It just means you’re holding a stone.”
– “Same as failure. What are my options?”
– “Keep holding it. Or toss it away.”
– “Or sculpt an idol out of it.”
– “Yes. How come you are so positive?’
– “I never listened to those idiots.”
– “What idiots?”
– “The ones who laughed at me.”
– “They laughed at you too?”
– “Of course they did.”
– “Why do you call them idiots?”
– “They laugh at a seed for not being a tree.”
– “You didn’t toss that seed away.”
– “Why would I? It was Nature’s gift to me.”
– “None of us are born with trees of talent?”
– “But all of us are born with seeds of it.”
– “What did you do after that?”
– “I promised I won’t copy their mistake.”
– “Not to expect the seed to be a tree?”
– “No premature exhibitions.”
– “People spit out seeds.”
– “But the same people ask for a tree’s shelter.”
– “So you had patience. Let the seed sprout.”
– “Focus on giving; not taking.”
– “Love your talent.”
– “And talent loves you back.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Too Busy To Judge

– “You saw?”
– “I noticed.”
– “You said nothing.”
– “Didn’t need to.”
– “Why not?”
– “Why should I?”
– “Did you agree with it?”
– “Did I have to disagree?”
– “We all did.”
– “I’m not you.”
– “Who are you?”
– “Someone with goals.”
– “So?”
– “I’d rather pursue goals than judge others.”
– “We also have goals to pursue.”
– “No you don’t.”
– “Who are you to say?”
– “You’d pursue them than judge others.”
– “So you think we wasted time?”
– “You tell me.”
– “How he was doing things was incorrect.”
– “Existential stability and space for growth.”
– “What?”
– “Two things we need most in life.”
– “So?”
– “Did he threaten your stability or growth?”
– “No.”
– “Then it wasn’t incorrect. Just different.”
– “But it didn’t fit in the norms.”
– “What’s the objective of norms?”
– “Uh… To maintain peace…”
– “Then stop disturbing it.”
– “We were upholding the norms.”
– “By wasting time in baseless judgment?”
– “That guy needed to know-”
– “That you can’t handle differences?”
– “That-”
– “Is also seen in you interrogating me.”
– “What?”
– “You wanted everyone to play your game.”
– “Game?”
– “And I didn’t. As I never. Gotta go. Got goals.”

Love: A Choice

– “How does it begin?”
– “We like what we see.”
– “Why does it continue?”
– “We like to know more.”
– “Why is there attraction?”
– “We think there’s more to like.”
– “What is reality?”
– “Not all of it can be liked.”
– “What is love?”
– “It’s a choice.”
– “Of?”
– “Acceptance.”
– “We accept what we don’t like?”
– “We accept we don’t always have to.”
– “Do we continue knowing the unknown?”
– “Love is when it really begins.”
– “Why?”
– “For now we begin freeing ourselves.”
– “Free of what?”
– “The compulsion to personalize.”
– “Compulsion of liking and disliking?”
– “Replaced with ease of simply knowing.”
– “And when we know it all?”
– “We never know it all.”
– “Then what do we do?”
– “We understand the part we know.”
– “And what then?”
– “Then the infinite is finite.”
– “Why does it free us?”
– “We always know one thing deep down.”
– “Which is?”
– “Nobody is ours to own.”
– “And now?”
– “Now we realize we never have to.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Their Imperfections…

– “Do you love your parents?”
– “Sure I do.”
– “Are they perfect?”
– “No they aren’t.”
– “But you still love them?”
– “Sure I do.”
– “I don’t love mine.”
– “I see.”
– “I used to think they’re perfect.”
– “And then they turned out to be imperfect?”
– “Yes. I felt…”
– “Cheated with?”
– “Yes.”
– “Same happened with me.”
– “You thought they were perfect too?”
– “I think most of us think that.”
– “How did you cope with the shock?”
– “I had a moment of epiphany.”
– “Which was?”
– “They weren’t cheating with me.”
– “They weren’t?”
– “I was cheating with myself.”
– “How?”
– “I wanted them to be superhuman.”
– “It’s superhuman to demand perfection?”
– “All the time? Everywhere? Yes.”
– “Why?”
– “Could I be?”
– “Umm…”
– “Can you be?”
– “No.”
– “Why?”
– “I’m only human.”
– “So are they.”
– “So I should excuse their imperfections?”
– “It’s up to you. But check one thing.”
– “What?”
– “My folks were there for me when I wasn’t.”
– “Yes… I guess… so were mine.”
– “And I never made it easy for them.”
– “No, neither did I.”
– “Check if we can reject that.”
– “I’ll… think about it.”
– “Perhaps such moments were too little.”
– “What if they were?”
– “Perhaps they couldn’t help themselves.”
– “What if they couldn’t?’
– “Perhaps you can’t help hating them.”
– “What if I can’t?”
– “Check if hating them is helping you.”
– “So… my choice is independent of theirs?”
– “Now that you’re a grown up? Yes.”
– “The choices they made for me defined me.”
– “Back when they were raising you? Sure.”
– “But now it’s my choice that defines me?”
– “Now that you have the strength for it? Sure.”
– “And to use it, is yet another choice?”
– “To know and have your peace, is surely one.”

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| Life Empowerment |
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True Enemy: Focus Within

– “Teacher? Why does he do that?”
– “You’re referring to our Ace, of course.”
– “He has defeated many opponents.”
– “Each one who challenged him.”
– “He prefers solitude, each time he wins.”
– “Most spiritual of warriors I’ve seen.”
– “Why the solitude? Why not celebrations?”
– “You had the fever last week.”
– “Yes. The doctor said it was the water.”
– “But it wasn’t really the water, was it?”
– “It was. Those tiny evil creatures in it.”
– “Tiny evil creatures your body reacted to.”
– “Yes. So is my body to be blamed for it?”
– “Your body is to be studied for it.”
– “Why?”
– “For betterment.”
– “Please elaborate, Teacher.”
– “Those creatures called; your body heard.”
– “And something in that call had an appeal.”
– “An appeal your system couldn’t reject.”
– “For it was in tune with an aspect of my body.”
– “In short, enemies mirror a portion of us.”
– “Indeed. That’s… surprisingly true.”
– “A surprise; for it’s revelation of an unknown.”
– “Must we know it, Teacher?”
– “Unless we wish to fight same enemy twice.”
– “But the doctor gave me an herb.”
– “Which immunized you to that fever?”
– “Yes, Teacher. I won’t have that trouble again.”
– “That takes care of body. What of the mind?”
– “Why care? Body knows how to deal with it.”
– “Leaving you blind to a dangerous truth.”
– “Oh. A portion of me worked against me…”
– “An important knowledge you’re rejecting.”
– “And that’s a loss to my Self, yes Teacher?”
– “Exactly. The aim is to better that portion.”
– “And not to subtract it from the whole.”
– “Wondering how it relates with Ace?’
– “I think I know now.”
– “Please explain, Child.”
– “He beats enemies with skills he learned.”
– “Which is same as the herb you took.”
– “But he knows they mirrored a part of him.”
– “An unknown part. Solitude is to know it.”
– “What if he beats foes without such insight?”
– “He’ll also lose portions of his self each time.”
– “Without that insight, he’ll be his own enemy.”
– “With that insight, he’ll be without enemies.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Combat Mode

– “How do we fight?”
– “Who do you want to fight?”
– “People. Ideas. My own weakness.”
– “See it as competition.”
– “What is competition?”
– “An analogy for survival.”
– “We outrun what we fight?”
– “We outfight what we fight.”
– “How do we do that?”
– “Imagine a circle.”
– “I’m at its centre?”
– “Not at all. But your opponent is.”
– “So where am I?”
– “At the circle’s periphery.”
– “And what’s my move?”
– “You keep your eyes on the centre.”
– “At my opponent. Why?”
– “They’ll move.”
– “Moving the circle with them.”
– “And moving you with it.”
– “So I’m watching and moving.”
– “Yields two gains.”
– “What’s the gain of watching?”
– “Eyes tell you where they move.”
– “What’s the gain of moving?”
– “Senses tell you how they move.”
– “That way, I’ll have an acute feel of them?”
– “You’ll sync with the pattern.”
– “And I’ll have precision in my predictions.”
– “To beat them is to be them first, mentally.”
– “That way I’ll know weak spots to attack.”
– “That takes care of offense.”
– “How to take care of defense?”
– “Keep shifting on that periphery you’re on.”
– “Never stay stationary on it?”
– “Never.”
– “Why?”
– “What you do to them isn’t unique.”
– “Yes. They can do the same to me too.”
– “Don’t let them.”
– “Predict; but never be predictable?”
– “Never be a victim of your own traps.”

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Love: Understanding V/S Acceptance

– “What is love?”
– “Acceptance.”
– “What is acceptance?”
– “Absorption into self.”
– “Do you love?”
– “Yes.”
– “Do you understand it?”
– “I try to.”
– “What if you don’t understand?”
– “Then I’ll accept that too.”
– “But you’ll still love?”
– “Sure I will.”
– “Why?”
– “Only then I can try understanding again.”
– “But how could you?”
– “Why not?”
– “Isn’t understanding it important?”
– “Sure it is.”
– “Then how can you love without it?”
– “Dear, it’s the other way around.”
– “Meaning?”
– “I can’t understand without love.”
– “Oh.”
– “It’s like learning to swim.”
– “Water might sink us.”
– “Purpose is to let it help us stay afloat.”
– “Got to accept that water first?”
– “Got to love it as it is.”

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Swans And Ducks

– “They always mock you.”
– “I know.”
– “And they water down your abilities.”
– “I know.”
– “Why do you take it?”
– “I don’t.”
– “But you say nothing back to them.”
– “For I take nothing from them to give it back.”
– “But why don’t you defend yourself?”
– “I don’t feel threatened.”
– “You’re bulletproof?”
– “No. They’re shooting blanks.”
– “You’re saying you feel nothing?”
– “Oh, I acknowledge the noise they make.”
– “But you don’t want to silence that noise?”
– “Actually, it’s a proof of my abilities.”
– “But they call those your inabilities.”
– “Everyday. They feel that need every day.”
– “Yes. So?”
– “If it was true, they wouldn’t feel that need.”
– “Oh…”
– “They would’ve discarded and forgotten me.”
– “On the contrary they’re so focused on you.”
– “Fear gives creatures focus.”
– “You mean they’re insecure?”
– “Their speech proves so.”
– “Why would they be insecure?”
– “Defense mechanism of comfort zones.”
– “Meaning?”
– “I act differently; get results; they notice.”
– “And that threatens their rigid beliefs?”
– “They want their ways deemed undisputable.”
– “Or they want their failures unquestioned.”
– “Inspiration is heat. Not all can handle it.”
– “And rejected inspiration is jealousy, right?”
– “Precisely.”
– “It’s just data of your efficiency for you, huh?”
– “Proof of being swan isn’t only from swans.”
– “It’s also from ducks rejecting you.”

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| Life Empowerment |
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Asking Questions: Know When.

– “I saw you were listening intently.”
– “No sense in listening if it isn’t attentive.”
– “Didn’t you have any questions?”
– “Of course I had.”
– “Then why didn’t you ask?”
– “Most of them were answered without it.”
– “How?”
– “Patience rewards.”
– “You found answers in what came next?”
– “Exactly. As it most often does.”
– “Does it?”
– “If we’re humble enough to allow it, yes.”
– “Were there no more questions?”
– “Sure there were. And I asked them.”
– “When? I didn’t see you asking.”
– “I asked when the lecture finished.”
– “You have so much patience.”
– “No. Just the required amount of it.”
– “How do you deem what’s required amount?”
– “What was my goal?”
– “To learn, I suppose.”
– “What is learning?”
– “Collection, analysis, application, awareness.”
– “Before we grow aware, we must apply.”
– “Before we apply, we must analyze.”
– “Before we analyze, we must collect it fully.”
– “And does it not necessitate questions?”
– “Of course it does.”
– “Even counter-arguments, for comparisons.”
– “But how do we know the right questions?”
– “Umm…”
– “And how do we know right comparisons?”
– “Uh…”
– “To know, is to accept first that I don’t know.”
– “That’s modesty.”
– “No, that’s honesty.”
– “So before we decide what to do with data…”
– “We must collect it fully first.”
– “So let’s not interrupt the giving?”
– “Let’s not interrupt the receiving.”
– “So it’s not just a nicety you offer as grace?”
– “It’s a fealty I owe to self progress.”

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Intelligent V/S Smart

– “Teacher?”
– “Yes, my Child?”
– “He always tries to ace.”
– “Sure he does.”
– “But he never beats our Ace.”
– “No he doesn’t.”
– “Why is he not able to?”
– “Why should he be able to?”
– “They’re equally intelligent, Teacher.”
– “But unequally smart.”
– “Smartness differs to intelligence?”
– “What is intelligence, Child?”
– “Ability of self applicability.”
– “Oh no, that’s just intellect.”
– “When does intellect become intelligence?”
– “When we grow aware of that ability.”
– “Oh. So intelligence is self-awareness?”
– “Intelligence is degree of self-awareness.”
– “And smartness is good degree of it?”
– “Now you’re on the right track, my dear.”
– “So he isn’t as aware of self as the Ace?”
– “And that’s why he fails.”
– “How do you notice that absence, Teacher?”
– “What was their test, today?”
– “Disguise as beggars; spy on the other clan.”
– “He was quick to embark on mission.”
– “Yes. Muddied his clothes; on he went.”
– “And came back after a thorough beating.”
– “Yes, they made him easily.”
– “And what of the Ace?”
– “Went to the city. What’s in the city, Teacher?”
– “Why, beggars, of course.”
– “He wants to study them before the mission?”
– “He wants to become them first.”
– “Why? Can’t he just muddy his clothes?”
– “Won’t be enough, as evidently proven.”
– “What else does it take to be a beggar?”
– “To learn to stand, speak, feel like one.”
– “Oh! Humility; but not at par with Nobility.”
– “Nobody pities a beggar sounding like a goddamn scholar.”
– “Wow, he’s thorough. So intelligent.”
– “Knowing where he isn’t so intelligent.”
– “Willing to work on it.”
– “And that humble acceptance makes one smart.”

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Over-Rating: Don’t.

– “Teacher?”
– “Yes, my Child?”
– “What’s the goal of this exercise?”
– “Please explain the exercise.”
– “We’re in a trek through the jungle.”
– “Began with three options to each one of you.”
– “An axe with the finest blade was one.”
– “A bag full of tastiest edibles was second.”
– “A companion was the last.”
– “You could choose but one out of three.”
– “I chose a companion.”
– “So I noticed. What was the reason?”
– “I thought one would be helpful.”
– “And what is the result?”
– “He turned out to be totally useless.”
– “I saw him begging you to carry his load.”
– “And yet he’s the one telling me to slow down.”
– “The biggest one of you chose the axe.”
– “Yes. For cutting down beasts and wood.”
– “He coveted it like a gift from gods.”
– “Now he wants an excuse to toss it away.”
– “Look at him now. What do you see?”
– “Frustration. The blade has lost its edge.”
– “Now it’s just a burden on his shoulders.”
– “And I see that one idiot over there.”
– “The one who chose the food, Child?”
– “The food is gone; the trek is still young.”
– “Dangers lurk everywhere; and he’s slow.”
– “He’s questioning his choice.”
– “As you all are, Child.”
– “Yes. So what was it all for?”
– “Each one of you began and ended similar.”
– “Yes. We hate ourselves for what we loved.”
– “And what’s the learning?”
– “Nothing is ever as precious as we think of it.”
– “Saw the Ace, my Child?”
– “Yes. As always, so different. Chose nothing.”
– “And yet, he chose it all.”
– “No axe; but he’s picking up sharp sticks.”
– “And replacing them as they lose edge.”
– “No borrowed food; he feeds on fresh fruits.”
– “No friend; but befriending sounds of jungle.”
– “Letting them company, caution, guide him.”
– “For he knows life is fluid.”
– “He clings to nothing; he flows with it.”

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Discipline: A Reality Check

– “You’re so much disciplined.”
– “I try to be.”
– “Don’t you get bored?”
– “Why’d I get bored?”
– “Most people get bored with discipline.”
– “I guess I’m not most people.”
– “Is that self-righteousness?”
– “That’s self-awareness.”
– “How so?”
– “What is discipline?”
– “A code of conduct, process, action.”
– “What’s the goal of discipline?”
– “To reach goals with maximum precision.”
– “Why do we opt for goals?”
– “Well, they make us happy, I guess.”
– “And we want that happiness to continue?”
– “Sure. We want to continue achieving.”
– “Discipline lets us have that ability.”
– “I don’t understand.”
– “Do you like pizza?”
– “Yes.”
– “Do you like fitness?”
– “Yes.”
– “Do you wish to have both for long?”
– “Yes. Lifelong.”
– “Can you, if you have pizza everyday?”
– “No. First I’ll lose health.”
– “Then you’ll have to lose pizza too.”
– “Yes.”
– “What if you have it once a week?”
– “That’d let me have both lifelong.”
– “Same applies to all walks of life.”
– “Yes; but isn’t it a burden to wait seven days?”
– “It’s a choice to see it as an obstacle in joys.”
– “And you see it as the path to the same joys.”
– “For that’s why it’s there.”
– “If it’s so straight-forward, why people hate it?”
– “They let someone else choose it for them.”
– “So that they can feel controlled?”
– “And victimized. So as to justify a rebellion.”
– “A trick to glorify results of indiscipline?”
– “Beats needing to hide them.”
– “But in the end those results bite them.”
– “You play; you pay.”
– “And you don’t do that?”
– “I apply discipline; I don’t follow it.”
– “You mean it’s a ritual for most people.”
– “I mean it’s a personal choice for me.”

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Liking It V/S Loving It : A Success Awakening

– “I’m good at it. You’re great at it.”
– “I’m humbled.”
– “Why the difference?”
– “You like it. I love it.”
– “Please elaborate.”
– “Liking is assimilation. Love is adaptation.”
– “So, I tried to configure it to my settings?”
– “And I tried to configure me to its settings.”
– “How did we do that?”
– “Name one thing we do differently.”
– “Well, you wake up earlier than me.”
– “You limited your play in it.”
– “I scaled it to my comfort zone.”
– “I explored extent of my play in it.”
– “You stepped out of your comfort zone.”
– “Which wasn’t a difficulty at all.”
– “No?”
– “It made me so interested, that my-”
– “Earlier comforts got suddenly boring.”
– “Exactly.”
– “But why did it interest you more than me?”
– “I chose to see if it could. And it did.”
– “So that’s love, huh?”
– “Yes. It’s a choice.”
– “We don’t await it.”
– “We reach for it.”

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Jealousy: Rejected Inspiration

– “Why am I so jealous of his success?”
– “You need to be.”
– “Why do I need to be?”
– “It’s a defense mechanism.”
– “What do I defend?”
– “Your comfort zones.”
– “What’s threatening them?”
– “His success proves them invalid.”
– “Why? His win isn’t even significant.”
– “That derision isn’t helping your case, dear.”
– “Huh?”
– “He began same as you. He ended up different than you. Key was making different choices. He’s proof that success isn’t a myth. Even for ordinary people.”
– “Ordinary people who wish success, yes.”
– “You don’t wish success.”
– “I don’t? Everybody wants betterment.”
– “Not everybody. Many notice the required effort. The daring to make choices outside of tradition. The resistance to the process. The need for knowledge. And adaptation. And improvisation. And evolution. Winning is a continuous process. No halts. It has a giant volume. Many find it too heavy.”
– “So I reject success?”
– “Instead, you prefer adjusting to what you are. Comfort zones. Which leaves you open to judgment. For chickening out. Which makes excuses necessary. To justify inaction. To society. And self. You want to declare success impossible rather than difficult. You lie. And you get good at it. You almost convince yourself it’s all true. Negativity lives in you as a parasite. You nurture it. All is easy.”
– “Yes. It’s as if I’m fine with it.”
– “Until you see him. Which is a slap to those excuses. Suddenly you see the truth again. It’s inconvenient. But it carries seeds of inspiration. And promise of betterment. The parasite’s survival is threatened. It urges you to reject that inspiration. That’s jealousy. There’s an obsessive compulsive drive to it. Of course. Losing needs to be as continuous as winning.”
– “How do I stop being jealous?”
– “Accept that inspiration. Stop rejecting it. Stop resisting it. Let it motivate you to do as good. Or better. When sun shines, be sunflower. Not a worm that dives into mud. Run toward life. Not away from it.”

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Discipline V/S Devotion

– “How do you stay motivated?”
– “I don’t need motivation anymore.”
– “You don’t?”
– “I’m in love with what I do.”
– “I’m afraid I’m not there yet.”
– “I wasn’t always there either.”
– “You mean you evolved that love?”
– “Positive. I conditioned myself to it.”
– “How did you manage that?”
– “Awareness helped me.”
– “Please do share.”
– “Before motivation, there’s inspiration.”
– “Yes. We find an idea interesting.”
– “We desire the ability for it.”
– “And that desire inspires us.”
– “Sure. Question is, how do we see it?”
– “Are there variety of ways to see desire?”
– “Sure there are.”
– “Most people desire to HAVE ability.”
– “Same as me; but I made an addition.”
– “Which was?”
– “I also aspired to BUILD that ability.”
– “To have… versus… to build…”
– “That subtle difference changes the game.”
– “You’re right. Most people just want things.”
– “And that gives them a rush.”
– “Immediate gratification.”
– “Which is impossible in most cases.”
– “Yes. We never get abilities instantly.”
– “Many react to it with denial.”
– “Like me. That’s why I lose my resolve.”
– “My response was acceptance.”
– “And what did you do with that acceptance?”
– “I cut my goal in tiny, manageable segments.”
– “You turned it into a process.”
– “I grew gradually. Adapted progressively.”
– “Today’s gain; tomorrow’s investment.”
– “And there was fun in those tiny gains!”
– “For they kept you asking for more.”
– “Making me love it! It’s like a satellite launch.”
– “There’s resistance at the beginning.”
– “Until it escapes earth’s gravitation. And then-”
– “The momentum itself keeps you going!”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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“Be Yourself”: Reality Checks

– “You always say, ‘Be yourself’.”
– “Sure I do.”
– “I find it a bit disturbing.”
– “Why?”
– “Isn’t it motivation to indiscipline?”
– “How so?”
– “People reject social responsibility.”
– “Littering? Rash driving? Breaking laws?”
– “Yes. Carelessness, in general.”
– “And they excuse it as being themselves?”
– “Many of them justify it so.”
– “What is being yourself?”
– “Staying original.”
– “Is indiscipline original?”
– “It’s our natural state, isn’t it?”
– “The so-called Child Ego State?”
– “Yes, exactly.”
– “I used to racket a lot with siblings.”
– “Same with me.”
– “You know why we used to do that?”
– “We wanted attention, I guess.”
– “One day our parents came home late.”
– “You must’ve been scared.”
– “Sure. There were no phones that time.”
– “So what happened?”
– “We didn’t racket that day.”
– “For no-one was there to pay attention?”
– “Instead, we were there for each other.”
– “You mean you were inspired for discipline.”
– “To be rational is an inbuilt human instinct.”
– “You mean discipline is our originality?”
– “A rational, reasonable amount of it, yes.”
– “And it’s indiscipline that’s not original?”
– “Exactly. It’s adapted. Learned behavior.”
– “For attention? We want it as adults too?”
– “It’s a social game. We want strokes.”
– “Hoping people will get hurt; scream at us?”
– “Helps us fortify a fabricated thug identity.”
– “Which is a deviation from who we’re?”
– “Exactly. Being yourself is being real.”
– “And staying true to it. I get it.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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Path V/S Journey: Know Yourself

– “Teacher, I have a specific life-goal.”
– “I’m glad to know.”
– “How to select right path to a goal?”
– “How’d you define a path?”
– “A facility that avails access to a goal.”
– “What’s a path, a constant or a variable?”
– “It’s a constant.”
– “Why’d you say that?”
– “It goes nowhere. It’s us who walk.”
– “You imply it remains stationary?”
– “Yes, teacher. Does it not?”
– “Do you see that temple?”
– “Yes. I also see the walkway to it.”
– “How long would it take you to reach it?”
– “Five minutes.”
– “Will the walkway shift during that time?”
– “No, unless an earthquake hits us.”
– “Have you heard of Temple of First People?”
– “Yes. They say it’s a walk of two years.”
– “Know anyone who tried that walk?”
– “My grandpa. He died during the journey.”
– “As do many. Do you know why?”
– “Seasons shift. Times change. Surprises hit.”
– “Landslides and floods?”
– “And droughts and wars.”
– “And plans people made collapse, huh?”
– “Yes, Teacher. Why do plans fail?”
– “People plan paths; not journeys.”
– “A path is only in space dimension.”
– “But a journey is in space and time, both.”
– “So although paths may remain stationary…
– “Not necessarily journeys remain constants.”
– “So the right path is right journey, Teacher?”
– “Yes. You choose it by anticipating-”
– “That situations will differ?”
– “And you’ll have to improvise and adapt.”
– “So right journey is chosen by…?”
– “Your personal aptitude for adaptation.”
– “If it’s in seas for me, I’ll choose waters.”
– “Else, you learn to navigate lands.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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Growth: Staying True And Real About It.

– “We began the same.”
– “Yet we grew differently.”
– “You gained much. I didn’t. Why?”
– “How did you learn to read?”
– “Began with alphabets; proceeded to words.”
– “Then figured out semantics.”
– “Began with short poems.”
– “And not with Tolstoy.”
– “Yes. I was gradual.”
– “And how did you learn to swim?”
– “I didn’t. I couldn’t. I have hydrophobia.”
– “Wasn’t always there, was it?”
– “No.”
– “I remember your first day at the beach.”
– “Also my last day at the beach.”
– “Your dad suddenly grabbed you by neck.”
– “And tossed me in the waters.”
– “His logic? Ever asked the question?”
– “I recall mom shouting it to him in hospital.”
– “What was his reply?”
– “Fear gives us wings.”
– “So shock accelerates evolution, he thought?”
– “Yes. Not that I felt particularly evolved.”
– “Not after heart quit it for two minutes, huh?”
– “And after the nightmares that still haunt me.”
– “Yet, I’ve been observing you-”
– “Applying the same logic everywhere in life?”
– “Yes. You suddenly load yourself heavy.”
– “I guess I was trying to please dad.”
– “Hoping for a miracle that validates his logic?”
– “It never works, does it?”
– “There’re times and places for it. Which are-”
– “Not found in pursuit of life-goals, huh?”
– “Growth is result of change; not crisis.”
– “And change must be gradual, yes?”
– “For adaptation is a slow symphony.”
– “How do we figure out its rhythm?”
– “Figure out your rhythm first.”
– “Find quota of change I can handle at a time?”
– “And improve its quality with consistency.”

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Hercules!

– “Is it wrong to help people?”
– “Depends on who and how you help.”
– “Is there anyone I shouldn’t help?”
– “Yes. There are two kinds of them.”
– “Who’s first?”
– “Ones who didn’t ask for your help.”
– “So I should wait till they ask it?”
– “You should check if they need it.”
– “So I shouldn’t assume?”
– “As you shouldn’t presume.”
– “And the second?”
– “Ones who always ask for your help.”
– “But what if they really need it?”
– “Always? If yes, there’s a reason it’s always.”
– “Which is?”
– “How do you help them?”
– “I try to solve their problems for them.”
– “So they never grow the required strength.”
– “Why not?”
– “For you’re there to cancel that need.”
– “I thought it was my humanism.”
– “And their self-handicap-led escapism.”
– “I never thought from that point of view.”
– “You were engrossed with your own view.”
– “Altruism?”
– “Chasing appreciation.”
– “You mean I do it to get my abilities admired?”
– “You think you do it selflessly?”
– “I believe so. I don’t always get appreciation.”
– “Of course you don’t.”
– “Sometimes people disapprove my input.”
– “And you use it as fuel to do it all the more.”
– “Yes… I can’t stand it when… Oh…”
– “I rest my case.”
– “Why does lesser grading unsettle me?”
– “For how you grade yourself depends on it.”
– “Isn’t it natural?”
– “Not at all. It’s artificial. You designed it such.”
– “And now my own game is irritating me?”
– “That’s why you asked if it’s wrong to help.”
– “What’s the remedy?”
– “Get real. The world isn’t your burden to carry.”
– “But it’s still OK to do my bit, yes?”
– “The bit you can actually handle, yes.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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Goal-Oriented Level: Master

– “What happened to us was same.”
– “Yet, we emerged out of it differently.”
– “You emerged glorious. I faced disgrace.”
– “So was noted.”
– “Why such difference?”
– “I chose a response. You preferred reaction.”
– “What happened was disturbing to me.”
– “Wasn’t honeymoon for me either.”
– “It’s only natural I’d react to it in kind.”
– “No-one said it wasn’t natural.”
– “Were you not tempted for the same?”
– “Oh, surely I was tempted for violence.”
– “How did you avoid that temptation?”
– “I avoided nothing. I processed it.”
– “Meaning?”
– “I knew it was natural to react in kind.”
– “As we established. So?”
– “It got me thinking about Nature.”
– “What about it?”
– “What’s happening since The Big Bang?”
– “Birth of universe? It’s been expanding.”
– “Is it addition or disintegration?”
– “I fail to understand.”
– “Is the expansion a result of new additions?”
– “No. It’s loosening. Result of a stretch.”
– “So it’s disintegration rather than expansion?”
– “I’d say so. Tells you what about Nature?”
– “Left to nature, things break down.”
– “Uh, yes. Entropy, they call it.”
– “So, is naturalness of reactions affordable?”
– “Oh… Not if we don’t wish disintegration.”
– “I didn’t. I have goals. I needed integration.”
– “How do you manage that?”
– “By choice of a response. Can be one of two.”
– “What’s the first?”
– “Check if I can mould negativity to positivity.”
– “As you did today. But what if you couldn’t?”
– “I’d avoid wasting time and energy fighting it.”
– “So you let your goal select a response, huh?”
– “As opposed to letting my pride do it, yes.”
– “Do you not feel hurt to your self-respect?”
– “Oh, I do. Fact that I can feel it educates me.”
– “Educates you? What does it tell you?”
– “That there’s still one unfortified place in me.”
– “As it’ll still be if you obey those temptations?”
– “It’ll strengthen if I buy time to focus within.”
– “You use negativity as fuel for self growth.”
– “That’s why we feel things. It’s data. I use it.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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You’re Unstoppable.

– “Where can I get inspiration?”
– “It’s with you.”
– “How’s it with me?”
– “Are you happy with what you are?”
– “No. I have little.”
– “How do you know it’s little?”
– “For I can do little with it.”
– “So you feel its pain.”
– “Yes I do.”
– “That’s your inspiration.”
– “But pain is negative.”
– “And undeniable.”
– “So how can it be inspiration?”
– “Would you hunt for food if belly’s full?”
– “No. I’d hunt when I’m hungry.”
– “Pain makes you hungry to cancel it.”
– “Oh. I was rejecting it.”
– “It’s inspiration when you embrace its call.”
– “How’d I remain motivated?”
– “Again, how do you know you have little?”
– “For I can do little with it.”
– “Act, and you can do a bit more.”
– “Is that motivation?”
– “First morsel is for hunger.”
– “And second is for taste.”
– “Now pain turns to desire.”
– “Need to have, turns to desire to have more.”
– “And that keeps you motivated.”
– “How do I avoid distraction?”
– “When do we get distracted?”
– “When different incentives are available.”
– “And why do they distract us?”
– “For we find them interesting.”
– “Why do we find them interesting?”
– “They’re a change from the routine.”
– “When does growth become routine?”
– “When it’s linear. Unidirectional.”
– “Make it versatile. Multidirectional.”
– “That’s when it stops being routine?”
– “That’s when it remains interesting.”
– “And gripping. How do I make it versatile?”
– “Find how many things you want to do more.”
– “And act progressively on all of them?”
– “Life is in feeding self-potential.”
– “And multi-faceting activates that potential?”
– “Self empowerment is self enablement.”
– “Life is fun when I can do more with it, huh?”
– “Having fun is when you’re unstoppable.”Moral:-
Pain inspires us.
Desire motivates us.
Versatility gives grip.

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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“…But He Was Wrong…”

– “…but he was wrong.”
– “In grammar. And you corrected him.”
– “Yes. What’s wrong in it?”
– “Right and wrong are relative.”
– “I don’t think I did anything wrong.”
– “Then why are we discussing this?”
– “They all gave me dirty stares.”
– “And why does it bother you?”
– “Why get angry if I call a wrong thing wrong?”
– “Is that all you did?”
– “What else did I do?”
– “You also told what the right thing was.”
– “So? They should’ve respected it.”
– “Ah! Respect! That’s what we missed.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Do you know you do this all the time?”
– “That’s for I see reasons to do it all the time.”
– “Reasons? Or excuses?”
– “What do you mean?”
– “Do you know why you do it?”
– “Because I know what the right thing is.”
– “And you want people to know it.”
– “That I know what’s right?”
– “That you know what’s better.”
– “Shouldn’t they know what’s better?”
– “You don’t care what’s better.”
– “I don’t?”
– “You care about you.”
– “Me?”
– “Your want people to see it came from you.”
– “You mean I crave for appreciation?”
– “You tell me. You hated those dirty stares.”
– “I don’t think so. And they had no right.”
– “They had all the right.”
– “Why? My correction was technically correct.”
– “And practically unnecessary.”
– “Is it too much to expect correct grammar?”
– “No; but you don’t stop at judging grammar.”
– “What do you mean?”
– “Every day, there’s one or the other thing.”
– “What?”
– “Dressing styles. Hairstyles. Work methods.”
– “I won’t apologize for my high standards.”
– “There are no standards; just personal spaces. To be configured to individual comforts. You configure others’ spaces to your comforts. That’s not rectification; just Narcissistic invasion. You can’t stand differences. Unnecessary insecurity; and too visible. Those dirty stares covered that entire history.”
– “I demand perfection.”
– “And nobody gives a rat’s ass. For it’s a demand less from self and more from others. Where’s your own performance? It’s lost in all the energy you waste reducing everyone to your comfort level. You want respect? Learn to give it first. Focus on yourself and leave others to their space. Declaring yourself as ultimate perfection is the core of imperfection.”

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“Keep Me Excited All The Time!”

– “I want someone exciting!”
– “I want a tank full of gasoline!”
– “One who keeps me excited all the time!”
– “Tank that never goes dry any time!”
– “But I never find someone like that.”
– “And I never find a tank like that.”
– “Is it wrong to expect excitement?”
– “Is it wrong to expect gasoline?”
– “I don’t think it’s wrong.”
– “I don’t think it’s wrong either.”
– “Why don’t I find someone like that?”
– “Same reason I don’t get a tank like that.”
– “A tank is supposed to give gasoline.”
– “No. A tank is supposed to avail gasoline.”
– “You mean it’s up to us to access it?”
– “To turn the ignition; foot the pedal? Yes.”
– “So it’s up to me to connect with my partner?”
– “The tank isn’t going to turn the ignition.”
– “The relationship is for both.”
– “Sure; but the car is of my own happiness.”
– “Happiness is my right.”
– “Happiness is a choice. Chosen by initiative.”
– “So excitement isn’t awaited; it’s chosen.”
– “I’d choose it; it’s me who wants a good drive.”
– “What if the partner doesn’t let me connect?”
– “Means my tank’s taking me for granted.”
– “So breaking up is valid?”
– “If all hopes to talk to the tank are lost, sure.”
– “Good. I don’t need to feel guilty in that case.”
– “Not at all. But check if that’s really the case.”
– “What are other possibilities?”
– “What were your expectations, again?”
– “Someone who keeps me excited all the time.”
– “Ah! Tank that never runs out of gas!”
– “Oh… Tank needs a little me-time, right?”
– “To get refilled. Only then I get gasoline.”
– “So excitement can’t always be there.”
– “People’ve tried fueling up while car’s running.”
– “What happened?”
– “The tank exploded. Took the car with it.”
– “Oh. So moral of the story is…?”
– “Get real.”

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The Blank Badge

– “Teacher?”
– “Yes, my Child?”
– “Our Ace is a piece of work.”
– “Sure he is; but what did he do now?”
– “The King had invited our clan yesterday.”
– “And?”
– “We were asked to select personal insignia.”
– “Those badges depicting wild creatures?”
– “Yes, Teacher. Lions. Wolves. Hawks. Cobras.”
– “What was the logic behind it? You asked?”
– “We’d be bound to the creature we select.”
– “Bound? How?”
– “Choose a lion; promise to dare as one.”
– “Choose a hawk; promise to be farsighted?”
– “Exactly. Select a creature; be that creature.”
– “And what creature did our Ace choose?”
– “None.”
– “He opted for no badge?”
– “Oh, he opted for one. It was so strange.”
– “What creature was on the badge?”
– “None. It was blank; a manufacturing fault.”
– “Hmm! Smart kid!”
– “What’s so smart about it, Teacher?”
– “What creature would you choose for him?”
– “A lion. Our Ace knows no fear.”
– “Oh?”
– “Or a cobra. Our Ace’s strike is so precise.”
– “Interesting.”
– “Oh, a scorpion! His scorpion-kick is best!”
– “I’ve seen lions in circus. Perhaps daring uninformed is how one falls prey to traps. I’ve seen toothless cobras dancing to the tunes of snake charmers. Perhaps distraction outsmarts precision. And I’ve seen scorpions crushed under rocks. Maybe lack of defensive measures cancels offensive efficiency.”
– “Oh… So no creature is perfect?”
– “No creature is complete. They’re ideas. Each idea has its perks and drawbacks. There’s a time and place to adopt an idea. And there’s a time and place to shed it. Being an Ace means maintaining that awareness. And acting upon it at a moment’s notice. Quick engagement and disengagement. It needs sentimental flexibility. Openness of mind. Serenity and humility of emptying ourselves. No wonder our Ace chose a blank insignia!”

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“They Need My Help…”: Reality Check

– “This is typical. I was only trying to help.”
– “And it went sideways.”
– “Yes. Why can’t people understand?”
– “What’s there to understand?”
– “That I was only trying to help…”
– “Did you check if they wanted it?”
– “It was obvious they needed it.”
– “What made it obvious?”
– “I could clearly see that they-”
– “What made it clearly visible?”
– “I was observing.”
– “You and I are talking right now.”
– “Yeah; so?”
– “Are we in the same situation?”
– “Umm… No.”
– “Why not?”
– “I don’t know how you’re perceiving this.”
– “Exactly. What does that tell you?”
– “Nothing is same for two different people?”
– “There you go. Apply that to your case.”
– “It was perception rather than observation?”
– “For you had a perspective; not insight.”
– “So I should ask first if they want my input?”
– “Of course.”
– “But what if they can’t decide it?”
– “How can they not?”
– “They don’t have that mental capacity.”
– “You know the thing about conclusions?”
– “What about conclusions?”
– “Arrive at them. Don’t jump at them.”
– “But I could clearly see… Oh. Wait. I get it.”
– “Glad you rejected that Narcissism.”
– “Why do I do that? Is it a game?”
– “Sure. With pay-offs.”
– “Such as?”
– “If they let you intervene, you feel smug.”
– “And if they don’t? Like today?”
– “Helps your worldview: I’m OK; you’re not OK.”
– “But what if I do arrive at that conclusion?”
– “After methodically studying them?”
– “And notice they’re creating problems? Then?”
– “Then you meet them or their victims, if any.”
– “For now it’s true they need it?”
– “For since long it’s true you want it.”
– “Fine. I want it. And then?”
– “And suggest to get help. From you or others.”
– “And… leave them to make that choice?”
– “Precisely. For it’s their choice to make.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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“I’m Right, You’re Wrong” V/S Goal

– “What you say is stupid.”
– “Noted.”
– “You accept defeat so easily?”
– “Were we at war?”
– “I just said what you say is stupid.”
– “And you’re entitled to your opinions.”
– “You don’t fight for your opinions?”
– “Why’d I? I’m comfortable with differences.”
– “Don’t you have any self-respect?”
– “Sure; in addition I have self-awareness too.”
– “Meaning?”
– “I check if I need to fight for my opinions.”
– “How can you not?”
– “Not when I’m free to apply them as I will.”
– “But I just said-”
– “What you think of it is none of my business.”
– “Yeah; but if I disagree with your opinions –”
– “It means you’re making them your business.”
– “Yes; because-”
– “Why you do so is none of my business.”
– “How can it not-”
– “For I have better business.”
– “Who do you think you’re?”
– “And there we see you have no business.”
– “What do you mean I have-”
– “If you had, you’ve be engaged in it instead.”
– “You mean I have nothing better to do?”
– “You tell me. Do you?”
– “I do. But it’s important to tell people like you-”
– “That my opinions are stupid?”
– “Yes; for what you say is wrong for-”
– “Society and its sweet innocent people?”
– “Yes; people who-”
– “Can’t defend for themselves, you declare?”
– “Uh… They-”
– “Didn’t ask you to be their advocate.”
– “No; but-”
– “You’re acting like one nevertheless.”
– “Yes, because-”
– “You can’t handle differences in opinions.”
– “No, I-”
– “And you’re too chicken to accept it.”
– “Listen, you-”
– “That’s why you pretend society needs you.”
– “You…”
– “To camouflage your own disturbances.”
– “Uh…”
– “Which you wouldn’t have.”
– “Huh?”
– “If you were engaged in better business.”
– “You… I….”
– “Gotta go. I have better business.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Power Of Habits!

– “What breeds success?”
– “Choice of habits.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Right choices. Made repeatedly.”
– “Why’s habit important?”
– “What’s success?”
– “A vision, fulfilled.”
– “Begins with a vision, imagined?”
– “Sure. So?”
– “Imagination leads to thought.”
– “Sure. So?”
– “Thought leads to action.”
– “Sure. So?”
– “Action leads to result.”
– “Sure. So?”
– “Actions are signals.”
– “Which tune us to required frequencies?”
– “Like a radio.”
– “So failure is weak signal strength?”
– “Inconsistent action; inconsistent signal.”
– “And success is strong signal strength?”
– “Consistent action; consistent signal.”
– “That’s why action must turn into habits?”
– “Precisely. We need bandwidth.”
– “How can habits be choice?”
– “For success is choice.”
– “Yes; but how do we choose habits?”
– “By consciously made repetitions.”
– “Until it’s unconscious rhythm?”
– “Exactly.”
– “So we set a vision.”
– “And habit is its provision.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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History Repeats, When…

– “I’m not at peace, Teacher.”
– “Sure you aren’t.”
– “Past ghosts are haunting me.”
– “Sure they are.”
– “Why does history always repeat?”
– “Not always, my Child.”
– “When does it repeat?”
– “When we learn nothing out of it.”
– “What did I fail to learn?”
– “What did I tell you about causality?”
– “Things tuned alike, find connection.”
– “Why do things happen to us, Child?”
– “For that possibility exists.”
– “When is it actualized?”
– “When the connection is strong enough.”
– “How do we severe a connection, Child?”
– “We cancel one of the ends of the thread.”
– “Did you? In the past?”
– “Yes. I defeated negativity at the time.”
– “No. You merely defeated one of its drones.”
– “And now it’s back in another drone.”
– “As it was always possible.”
– “So can we not ever severe the connection?”
– “Sure we can.”
– “How?”
– “We cancel the right end of the thread.”
– “Which is it, Teacher?”
– “Us. For that’s what’s in our control.”
– “That’s where I failed. How do I cancel me?”
– “Not you in your entirety.”
– “Then what part do I cancel?”
– “The one that enables that possibility.”
– “How do I find it?”
– “There’re two faces of it.”
– “First is…?”
– “The part in you that you never question.”
– “The part I always hold for granted as true?”
– “Yes. That’s where negativity lives.”
– “Second is…?”
– “The part in you that you always question.”
– “The part I’m always insecure about?”
– “Yes. That’s how negativity distracts you.”
– “An example, please?”
– “Suppose you’re a country.”
– “Under attack by the same foe.”
– “First part may be your false self-perception.”
– “Such as being righteous will keep me safe.”
– “Precisely.”
– “And second part?”
– “Your anxiety about your image in the world.”
– “As a peaceful nation.”
– “That doesn’t crush evil when it has that chance.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Perfection Is A Sweetly Private Affair!

– “What is perfection?”
– “Result of a sync.”
– “A sync with…?”
– “Rhythm of doing what we like.”
– “How do we manage it?”
– “It’s a sweetly private affair.”
– “Meaning?’
– “You like butterflies?”
– “I love butterflies!”
– “What are they, before they grow wings?”
– “Worms without wings…?”
– “I call them worms who stop being worms.”
– “How do they stop being worms?”
– “What do worms do?”
– “Well, they roam around…”
– “That’s what they quit.”
– “Oh, they get into a cocoon… Yes…”
– “That’s how we manage perfection.”
– “By shunning out from the world?”
– “Is that what it is?”
– “Isn’t it?”
– “I’d say it’s opening up to yourself.”
– “Something the world doesn’t let us to?”
– “Something we don’t let ourselves to.”
– “For there are too many distractions, huh?”
– “Precisely. Hindrances to introspection.”
– “And what do we do with this introspection?”
– “First we understand why we need it.”
– “Why do we need it?”
– “Do you play any instrument?”
– “I play many instruments.”
– “How do you get into the rhythm?”
– “Slowly.”
– “Why?”
– “In need a slow tempo first, to step into it.”
– “A tempo that works for you, huh?”
– “Precisely.”
– “That’s what introspection rewards us.”
– “An understanding of our personal tempo…”
– “Exactly. To which we can tune the rhythm.”
– “We link our tempo to our interest’s rhythm?”
– “We link our interest’s rhythm to our tempo.”
– “Why such reversal?”
– “For perfection is our uniqueness, intensified.”
– “So it’s subjective?”
– “Always. As I said, a sweetly private affair.”
– “That’s how we sync, yes?”
– “Yes.”
– “And then we walk out of the cocoon?”
– “And fly to our own tunes!”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Different V/S Better

– “Heard you’re successful.”
– “I heard the same.”
– “Is it true success is in change?”
– “Sure it is.”
– “I changed. A lot. Didn’t succeed.”
– “In which direction?”
– “Meaning?”
– “What did you change into?”
– “I had idols. I tried to be them.”
– “And there we see why you failed.”
– “I don’t see it.”
– “Name those who win in a jungle.”
– “Lions and tigers.”
– “How about a chameleon?”
– “Wouldn’t call it a winner.”
– “For the hype of big cats blinds you.”
– “You’d call a chameleon a winner?”
– “I’ve seen undernourished lions.”
– “But no undernourished chameleons… Oh.”
– “See? We miss what’s not hyped.”
– “How does it relate to me?”
– “Chameleon doesn’t make your mistake.”
– “It doesn’t try to be a lion, huh?”
– “Not at all. It doesn’t practice a roar.”
– “Then what does it practice?”
– “What it naturally can.”
– “Stealth… Camouflage…”
– “And the strike of a tongue, that’s-”
– “Fast. And yet precise.”
– “Something a lion knows nothing of.”
– “So life is in being yourself.”
– “And success is in being best at it.”
– “So change is in practicing what’s best in me.”
– “That’s how you outdo most in the crowd.”
– “Why? What’re they?”
– “Toads who once saw a bull at the pond.”
– “And now they’re trying to be that bull?”
– “Rejecting useful agility for useless size.”
– “Slowing down into feast for the python.”
– “Exactly. Tell me what you learned.”
– “I stay true to me, I get rewards.”
– “You deviate, you turn into others’ rewards.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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The “Necessary Sacrifice” Fallacy

– “Teacher?”
– “Yes, my Child?”
– “My employer awakened me today.”
– “But were you asleep in the first place?”
– “Yes. I used to refuse overtime work.”
– “Was there more pay for it?”
– “No. But now I know it’s acceptable.”
– “Oh, is it?”
– “I mustn’t prioritize self.”
– “Interesting. Why, if I may ask?”
– “I’m merely a tiny portion in a whole.”
– “Oh, the awakened one speaks…!”
– “I shall thrive only if the whole thrives.”
– “The whole wasn’t thriving before?”
– “Huh?”
– “Reminds me of a crow and a cuckoo.”
– “What about a crow and a cuckoo?”
– “Once, a crow realized cuckoo’s deceit.”
– “Cuckoo placed its eggs in crow’s nest?”
– “And tossed crow’s eggs out.”
– “So that crow would raise its babies, huh?”
– “And cuckoo can disco.”
– “Crow confronted cuckoo? What happened?”
– “Cuckoo awakened the crow.”
– “What did the cuckoo say?”
– “Told the crow the jungle needs sacrifice.”
– “What sacrifice? Why?”
– “Life was difficult for residents of jungle.”
– “So?”
– “Cuckoo’s babies would grow up and sing.”
– “And that’d ease the life for residents?”
– “Exactly the cuckoo’s words.”
– “And the crow’s babies were expendable?”
– “Necessary sacrifice, cuckoo’s term for it.”
– “That’s madness.”
– “But the crow agreed to it.”
– “Why’d it agree to such obvious crap?”
– “For the same reason you did, my Child.”
– “Huh? What?”
– “Crow was a sucker for stupid philosophies.”
– “Oh…”
– “My friend, your employer is cuckoo. You’re crow. Cuckoo is ambitious. It needs crow. So it employs it. Which is all reasonable. Honest work; just reward. Then cuckoo gets greedy. And lazy. Success needs efforts; but no-one said they need to be yours. Cuckoo wants to throw parties when crow toils. Cuckoo needs crow to toss out its rightful personal life. Overlay it with professional life. So cuckoo creates a fantastic idea. Necessary sacrifice. Preaches the crow to find honor in it. You were awake earlier. Now you’re asleep. They deem you expendable only because you prove you are. You overwork; you burn out; they replace you. Learn to value yourself. It’s time for all crows to wake up. Together.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Arrogant!

– “You’re arrogant.”
– “What’s arrogance?”
– “Not being polite.”
– “Polite? Or submissive?”
– “A little humility wouldn’t hurt.”
– “Where was I supposed to show it?”
– “He was telling you important stuff.”
– “I asked him why it was important.”
– “He’s highly educated.”
– “So he should’ve been able to answer.”
– “That’s that arrogance, right there.”
– “It’s arrogant to deem the learned as wise?”
– “Why couldn’t you just listen?”
– “I did. Led to thought. Led to questions.”
– “Why couldn’t you just listen quietly?”
– “He was teaching me, wasn’t he?”
– “Yes.”
– “I was supposed to learn, wasn’t I?”
– “Yes.”
– “Learning leads to questions.”
– “You challenged his authority.”
– “I inquired about his capacity.”
– “Why? Why would you…”
– “Again, he was teaching me, wasn’t he?”
– “Yes…”
– “I didn’t ask him to, did I?”
– “No you didn’t, you arrogant bastard…”
– “A student must get the right teacher.”
– “Huh?”
– “A teacher must prove his caliber.”
– “Seriously…?”
– “He failed at it.”
– “He got so angry…”
– “Emotional expression of proven failure.”
– “What?”
– “If he had an answer, he’d have answered.”
– “Will you please…”
– “He realized he couldn’t; didn’t like it.”
– “Will you please-”
– “Get real? I am real. You? Listen. The world is full of patients of a disease. It’s called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They know deep down they’re nothing. They can’t accept it. They fear someone will notice. Makes them insecure. A defense mechanism is launched. They get desperate to be seen stronger. Hence the dictation. Domination. Taunts. Unwanted advice. Preaching, not teaching. Acting like they’ve seen it all and know it all.”
– “Uh…”
– “Remedy? Defense mechanisms collapse when they fail to defend. That’s what I do to them. I call their bluff. I let them know I know. I don’t mind being called arrogant for it. Beats encouraging them to do it more with your useless version of humility. I can’t cure him. But I can save myself. And I did. That’s my gain.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
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Tête-A-Tête With A Rich Man

– “I hate you.”
– “Why?”
– “You’re rich.”
– “Do you wish to be rich?”
– “Yes. It’s my goal.”
– “Then why hate the rich?”
– “You don’t care about others.”
– “How do you know?”
– “That’s how people get rich.”
– “Can you walk?”
– “Yes.”
– “Know someone who can walk?”
– “Everyone I know can walk.”
– “Do you stop walking if they stand still?”
– “No…”
– “What does that tell you?”
– “Our choices are independent of others’.”
– “I rest my case.”
– “But maybe someone CAN’T walk…”
– “You’re saying someone is a cripple?”
– “Yes.”
– “Would it help him if you don’t walk too?”
– “No… ”
– “I rest my case.”
– “But maybe you crippled him…”
– “Because that’s what big bad rich do?”
– “Maybe…”
– “Did you see me do it?”
– “No.”
– “Then stop generalizing. It’s stupid.”
– “But maybe you could help the cripple…”
– “First I have to walk toward him?”
– “Yes.”
– “So I have to do something he can’t?”
– “Yes.”
– “I rest my case.”
– “How did you become rich?”
– “I saw a rich man long ago.”
– “You copied what he did to get rich?”
– “No. He was a big bad devil.”
– “So you hated him?”
– “No. Devil doesn’t care about my hate.”
– “But it’s only natural to feel hate.”
– “And it’s only natural that it’s useless.”
– “You’re saying you don’t do useless things?”
– “I’m saying I like a cake.”
– “A cake?”
– “That’s what his riches were. Like a cake.”
– “So?”
– “Some people bake it in microwave.”
– “For it’s quicker.”
– “As his methods were. Immoral.”
– “So what did you do?”
– “I preferred the good old oven.”
– “But it’s slower.”
– “For it’s bigger.”
– “Oh.”
– “So I made a smaller oven. For just two cakes. Ate one. Sold the other. Got money. Used it to upgrade my oven. And repeat. Achievement and investment. A cycle that gradually widens. My method was progressive. My result was exponential. And I got rich. You see, I rejected his persona; but kept the inspiration.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Power Of Choice!

There were four of them.
Prisoners of war.
Beaten. Starved. Mocked. Forgotten.
One day, two guards decided to have fun.
“Let’s see how patriotic you are,”
– said the guards, opening the cell door.
They gave each prisoner a papyrus sheet.
“Paint the flag of your country.”
The flag was indigo.
No paints were provided.
“Succeed, and you’re free.”
The prisoners stared at the guards.
“Fail, and you’ll be meal for the dogs.”
They saw the dogs out in the passage.
Hungry. One prisoner panicked.
“But there are no paints…” he screamed.
He was quickly fed to the dogs.
Fear gives men wings.
One of the prisoners had an idea.
He cut his skin with his nails.
Shed red blood on the papyrus.
Spread it in a rectangle.
Hoping the red would dry and fade in color.
Hoping it’d turn indigo.
It didn’t. The dogs feasted.
Two remained. The guards smirked.
One prisoner had an idea.
He whispered it to his comrade.
Who agreed silently.
He too shed his blood on the papyrus.
Spread it in a rectangle.
Picked up the blank papyrus –
– left unused by the first prisoner.
Covered his sheet with the blank one.
Walked toward the window.
Held up both sheets,
against the sunlight coming in.
With yellow from behind,
and white in front, red seemed indigo.
The guards walked closer to inspect.
The other prisoner watched silently.
He knew the trick was logically sound.
And practically useless.
The guards never planned to free them.
But he never needed them to.
As they made eye-contact,
he nodded to his friend.
Who suddenly lowered the sheets.
Sun blinded the guards. As expected.
The friends made their moves.
Punches to one’s throat, other’s neck.
Both friends rushed out.
The dogs didn’t attack them.
As expected. They had just eaten two men.
Why would they attack?
The guards recovered. Turned around.
And saw they were now locked in the cell.
With the dogs.
Whose loyalty would expire with hunger.

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
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Relationship Entropy

– “When do relationships fail?”
– “When they’re allowed to.”
– “Meaning?”
– “What’s happening since Big Bang?”
– “What?”
– “You know, the birth of universe?”
– “Yes; universe’s been growing.”
– “Is it addition or mere expansion?”
– “Meaning?”
– “Is anyone adding stuff to it?”
– “No; it’s same stuff, just stretching.”
– “And disintegrating. They call it Entropy.”
– “What’s it got to do with relations?”
– “Left unattended, stuff breaks.”
– “You talk of it as if it’s-”
– “A law? Yes, a fundamental in physics.”
– “Oh?”
– “And we’re all bound by it.”
– “How does it work in relationships?”
– “Many maintain a belief. A false one.”
– “Which is?”
– “Relationship is a self-conscious system.”
– “Meaning it’ll work on its own?”
– “Many think so.”
– “And they’re wrong? How?”
– “Sure it’s a system. With mechanisms. But mechanisms need lubrication. In case of relations, it’s desire. About two gears of unequal sizes trying to mesh. It challenges that law of physics. On two levels. One, where two try to become one. Two, where each one needs to maintain their own integrity first. It’s evolution. Add what’s necessary; shed what’s not. You ignore it, gears clash and break down. Entropy.”
– “How to inject that lubrication?”
– “We need injectors. Awareness. Attention. Introspection. Conscious action taken on what’s explored and learned. Systems work when they’re cared for. Caring is a continuity. It asks constant presence. So be there. Take nothing for granted. Ever.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Betterment Is A Choice.

– “How to find solutions?”
– “Solutions are chosen; not found.”
– “How do we choose solutions?”
– “How do problems choose us?”
– “I don’t know.”
– “How do stations choose radio?”
– “I thought radio chooses stations.”
– “No. Radio chooses a frequency.”
– “So stations tuned to that frequency, play.”
– “That’s how stations choose radio.”
– “So problems are like stations?”
– “Circumstances are like stations.”
– “And they choose us, the radio?”
– “They sync with us.”
– “As per the frequency we choose?”
– “By our thought, speech, action, yes.”
– “So to choose solutions, is…”
– “To change frequency.”
– “Positive thought, speech, action?”
– “Yes. Changing frequency is a choice.”
– “How do we change to the right one?”
– “How to we tune to the right station?”
– “We play with the dial.”
– “And we hear static.”
– “Until we hear music.”
– “Exploration is the key.”
– “Why do we find it difficult?”
– “Static is uncomfortable noise.”
– “And that discourages us?”
– “It rushes us.”
– “We shift the dial hastily?”
– “And miss the station.”
– “The key is to go slow?”
– “Change works when it’s gradual.”
– “How do we know direction is right?”
– “Go away from station, static rises.”
– “Yes.”
– “Get close to it few notches -”
– “We begin hearing music, yes.”
– “Then it’s about fine tuning.”
– “All of that is a choice?”
– “Everything is always a choice.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Do It Today.

– “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
– “No. Do it today.”
– “I can’t. I don’t know how.”
– “That’s why you’ll try it today.”
– “But why? I’ll fail.”
– “And try repeatedly. Until you learn.”
– “What’s the big deal?”
– “That’s how you’ll be able for tomorrow.”
– “But what’s the big deal?”
– “A worm was scaling up a tree trunk.”
– “So?”
– “Didn’t know how to adhere to the wood.”
– “It didn’t try to learn it?”
– “No. Used the crevices in the trunk, instead.”
– “And it managed the task?”
– “Sure it did.”
– “So what’s the big deal?”
– “It should’ve taken an hour.”
– “So?”
– “It took one full day.”
– “So what? It got the job done.”
– “But then the stem branched off.”
– “So?”
– “Now it wasn’t just about adhering.”
– “What else it was about?”
– “Managing balance on light branches.”
– “Oh. Now the worm had two weaknesses.”
– “And there was no bypassing them.”
– “What’s the learning for me?”
– “You’re the worm. Scaling up the tree of time. Challenges change as you proceed forward. Today has a challenge for you. Tomorrow will have a different one. The present is your opportunity. To beat the current challenge. And get new tools. To help you for tomorrow. For that’s what growth is. Progressive. Else, you face two troubles tomorrow and you crash. Time will always level you up. Mercilessly. Won’t ask for your consent. To be ready for it, is your choice.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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“People Don’t Take Me Seriously…” Here’s Why.

– “People don’t take me seriously.”
– “Are you taking yourself seriously?”
– “Why wouldn’t I?”
– “A cat wants to eat a mouse.”
– “Yeah, so?”
– “It expects the mouse to stand still.”
– “That’s unreasonable.”
– “That’s cat, not taking itself seriously.”
– “And so others don’t bother as well?”
– “Cost of lacking reality check.”
– “That’s not the case with me.”
– “Check anyway.”
– “Eh…”
– “Are you taking yourself too seriously?”
– “Why would I?”
– “The cat wants a cow to eat mouse.”
– “Why?”
– “Cat thinks it’s good for cow’s health.”
– “That’s Narcissistic.”
– “That’s cat taking itself too seriously.”
– “That’s not the case with me.”
– “Check anyway.”
– “Uh…”
– “Are you taking wrong people seriously?”
– “What defines wrong people?”
– “Cat wants to eat mouse.”
– “Yeah, so?”
– “Cat wants buffalo’s approval for it.”
– “Buffalo has nothing to do with it.”
– “Buffalo knows it. Cat doesn’t.”
– “So buffalo pays no attention?”
– “That’s one case.”
– “What’s the other case?”
– “For buffalo, it’s chance to play games.”
– “Yeah? How?”
– “It withholds its approval.”
– “And sends the cat on errands to win it?”
– “Exactly. Using shame and guilt as tools.”
– “Classic manipulation. What works it?”
– “The cat’s strong ‘please others’ drive.”
– “That… could be the case with me.”
– “Or maybe it’s all three.”
– “Huh? How?”
– “Cat wants mouse to stand still-”
– “So that cow can eat it…’
– “And we’re waiting for buffalo’s approval.”
– “Holy cow…”
– “Now the cat’s playing games with itself.”
– “Of course nobody cares…”
– “And cat gets the pay-off: ‘I have no voice’.”
– “Oh…”
– “Check anyway.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Reality #RealityCheck #Maturity #Awareness #Narcissist #Narcissism #NarcissisticPersonality #Drives #PleaseOthers #Approval #Appreciation #Manipulation #Social #Interpersonal #Self #Unconscious #Mentality #Mindset #TransactionalAnalysis #Games #Strokes #Scripts #Communication #Introspection #Awakening #Empowerment #Counseling #Psychology #BeReal #Growth

Be An Ace; Not The Ace.

– “Teacher, I don’t understand you.”
– “What did I say, my Child?”
– “You said, ‘Be an ace; not the ace’.”
– “What part you don’t understand?”
– “We have one ace in our clan.”
– “And I want to see many more.”
– “But not copies of him?”
– “Exactly. I want different ones.”
– “Aren’t the ace’s qualities the criteria?”
– “Criteria? Oh, we have no criteria.”
– “How can there not be any?”
– “Have you seen a leopard hunting?”
– “Sure. Speed is its forte.”
– “And what about a chameleon?”
– “Camouflage. Deception is its game.”
– “Which one is the ace?”
– “Can’t say.”
– “Why not?”
– “Different styles; equally great results.”
– “Do you know why they’re great?”
– “Why, Teacher?”
– “Reptile doesn’t bother to be cat.”
– “As cat doesn’t bother to be reptile.”
– “Chameleon betters its own style.”
– “As leopard masters its own.”
– “What does it tell you?”
– “Success is in being yourself, Teacher.”
– “And that’s why we have no criteria.”
– “Oh. For the ace isn’t a scale, yes?”
– “The ace is but an example.”
– “Not to be copied. But to learn from.”
– “Not to become best of what he is.”
– “But to become best of ourselves.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Success #SuccessMantra #SuccessQuotes #SelfRespect #Comparison #Unique #LifeGoals #Aim #Target #Objective #Ambition #Dreams #Achievement #Accomplishment #Fulfillment #Efforts #Failure #Introspection #Awareness #Empowerment #Confidence #SelfDoubt #Mastery #Skills #Profession #Strengths #WinnerMentality #BillionaireMindset #InspirationalQuotes #MotivationalQuotes

यशस्वी मम्मी-पप्पापणा !

– “आमचं काही चुकलं का ?”
– “बरोबर कशाला म्हणायचं याच्या तुमच्या व्याख्येवर ते अवलंबून आहे.”
– “आमच्या मुलांना वाढवण्यात आम्ही कमी पडलो का ?”
– “गुरं ‘वाढवली’ जातात. मुलांना स्वत:हून वाढण्याची संधी दिली जाते.”
– “दोन्ही मुलं दूर आहेत आमची, शिक्षणासाठी. इतरांची मुकाट्याने पार्ट-टाईम जॉब करतात. ही दोघं सरळ ‘नाही’ म्हणून मोकळी. काय वाईट आहे, स्वत:च्या शिक्षणाला स्वत: हातभार लावला तर ? आम्हालाच पैसे ट्रान्सफर करायला तगादा लावतात. नाही जमत हो… एफ-डीज मोडल्या सगळ्या यांच्याच इच्छांसाठी… आपण पोरांसाठी कमी नको पडायला म्हणून झिजतोय आम्ही; पण शेवटी आम्हालाही आमच्या म्हातारपणासाठी चार पैसे शिल्लक ठेवणं गरजेचंच आहे ना ? का नाही कळत यांना आपल्या जबाबदाऱ्या ?”
– “व्यवस्थित कळतायत त्यांना.”
– “पण-”
– “पण सिंहाचा छावा एकदा उपाशी राहिल्याशिवाय स्वत: शिकार करत नाही. गरूडपक्षाचं पिलू आईबरोबर हवेत असताना आईने अचानक सोडून दिल्याशिवाय उडायचं शिकत नाही.”
– “म्हणजे आम्ही मुलांना नशीबाच्या हवाली करायला हवं होतं का ?”
– “नाही; तो मूर्खपणा झाला असता. आणि सिंहीण किंवा गरूडही तसं करत नाहीत. एका अंतरावर राहून लक्ष ठेवतात ते. तशीच गरज पडल्यास सुरक्षा देण्यासाठी. पण सतत कडेवर घेऊन नसतात. एक स्पेस गरजेची असते, पोरांच्या वाढीसाठी. आईबापानेच करून दिलेली; त्यांच्या दृष्टीच्या आणि शब्दाच्या टप्प्यातली; पण त्यांची सततची उपस्थिती नसलेली. आजूबाजूच्या परिस्थितीला पोरं साद घालतात; त्या हाकेला बरेवाईट प्रतिसाद येतात; त्यातून अनुभव येतो. त्यावेळी आईबापाने त्या स्पेसमध्ये परत एन्ट्री घ्यावी. आस्थेने, विश्वासाने चौकशी करावी. आपण मम्मीपप्पाशी कोणत्याही विषयावर बोलू शकतो, याचा विश्वास येऊ द्यावा. घडल्या प्रसंगाचा अनुभव आईबापासमोर मांडला, की संवाद घडवावा. ‘लागलं का?’ या मायेच्या ऊबेबरोबरच काय झालं, कसं झालं, हे मांडून कार्यकारणभाव लक्षात आणून द्यावा… आणि परत बाहेर पडावं; पोरांना स्वत:च्या प्रोसेसिंगला जागा देण्यासाठी. हे झालं नाहीये तुझ्या पोरांच्या बाबतीत.”
– “नाही कसं ? आम्ही तर सगळं best of the best दिलं त्यांना…”
– “तिथेच घात झाला. तुम्ही सगळं रेडी उपलब्ध करून दिलंत. शाळेत न्यायला-आणायला दोघं आळीपाळीने धावलात. एखाद्या दिवशी बसने येऊ द्यायचंत. शाळा सुटल्यावर त्यांच्या सवयीचं होतं, आईबापाचं ‘माझा मन्नू गं तो’. त्याबरोबरच, दहाच्या तिकिटासाठी पन्नासची नोट दिली की कंडक्टर कसा खर्जात खेकसतो, हेही अनुभवायला हवं. त्यांच्या पेनातल्या रिफील्स आणि पेन्सिलीतली शिसं संपलेली कधी त्यांना दिसलीच नाहीत; नव्या रिफीली नि लेड्स मम्मीच भरून ठेवायची. पार्टी-वेअरसाठी कोणते ब्रान्ड्स भारीतले आहेत हे त्यांना माहितीये; पण तुझ्या पोराला आजही शर्टाला स्वत: इस्त्री करता येत नाही; आणि पोरीला केस विंचरण्यासाठी माणसं बोलवावी लागतात. मला आठवतंय, हिचे sanitary napkins मम्मीने डिस्पोज करायचे, का तर हिला घाण वाटते, हा दिव्य प्रकार तुमच्यात वर्षानुवर्षं चालू होता ना ?”
– “अं… हो…”
– “आपल्या पोरांना स्विगी वर पटापट रेडीमेड फूड अॉर्डर करताना पाहून त्यांच्या ‘टेक्नोसॅव्ही’पणाबद्दल तुझा ऊर अभिमानाने भरून आला होता. वास्तविक त्यात विशेष कौतुकाचं काहीच नाही. दुनियेतल्या करोडो लोकांनी आपल्यातल्या आळसाला गोंजारणाऱ्या या चंगळवादी धंद्यांना आपला जीव विकला आहे. तुझी पोरं त्याच consumerist झुंडीत सामील झाली, इतकंच. माझ्या घरी आला होतात, तेव्हा ‘पुरणपोळीबरोबर नारळाचं दूध’, ही संकल्पना पाहून, ‘तुम्हाला कसं कळतं, कोणत्या कोकोनटमध्ये वॉटर असतं आणि कोणत्या कोकोनटमध्ये मिल्क?’ हा खतरनाक प्रश्न तुझ्या पोरीने मलाच विचारला होता. आजही दोघं साधा चहासुद्धा स्वत: करून घेऊ शकत नाहीत. याआधी मुंबईत कॉलेजला होते दोघं, तेव्हा बाहेरची घाण खाऊन acidity झाली की जेल्यूसिलच्या बाटल्या घेऊन तुम्ही दोघं पुण्याहून धावायचात. कशासाठी ? Acidity होती; TB नाही… लक्षात घे, त्यांनी स्वत:ला कधी मोठं केलंच नाही; कारण दुसऱ्यावर अवलंबून असण्यात मज्जा असते हाच संदेश त्यांना मिळालाय आयुष्यभर. कमतरता झुगारणं हा एक चॉईस असतो; मार कधी खाल्लाच नाही तर कशाला कोण कधी ताकद वाढवेल ?”
– “निरागस आहेत हो दोघं…”
– “निरागसपणा समजूतदारपणात बदलला नाही तर निसर्ग वाढीच्या अनास्थेची किंमत वसूल करायला लावतो.”
– “आता आम्ही काय करू ?”
– “वाढ तेव्हा होते, जेव्हा वाढ निकडीची होते. पैशाचा ओघ कमी करा. स्पष्ट आणि वास्तव शब्दात त्यांना लिहा, की हे आपल्या कुटुंबासाठी गरजेचं आहे; मम्मी-पप्पांना स्वत:च्या भविष्याचा विचार करण्याचा हक्क आहे; आणि तो विचार मुलांनीही आईबापासाठी करायला हवाय. कर्तव्य म्हणून नाही; प्रेमाची जबाबदारी म्हणून. त्याआधी हे स्वत:लाही समजावून द्या. अर्थातच हे वाचून ती दोघं चार दिवस बिथरतील; आपल्या उचकण्याला भाव मिळत नाही पाहून कामाला लागतील. सोपं नसेल; पण जगण्याची लढाई स्वत:त बदल करायचं इन्स्पिरेशन देतेच माणसाला. वाढ म्हणजे स्वत:तलं उपयोगाचं वाढवणं आणि निरुपयोगी असलेलं त्यागणं. ते निरुपयोगित्व आजवर मम्मी-पप्पाच्या कोषात लाडाचं होतं; पण बाहेर दुनियादारी करताना निरुपयोगीत्वाबद्दल फटके बसू लागले आयुष्याकडून, की जीवनाच्या व्यवहारशास्त्रात चोख होतात माणसं. वाढ तिथे होते.”
– “हो. करू आम्ही हे. अं… माझ्या बहिणीचा मुलगा आता चार वर्षाचा आहे. आमच्या चुका त्यांनी नकोत करायला म्हणून त्यांना काय सांगू ?”
– “त्यांना एवढंच सांग :- पन्नास वर्षांपूर्वी ‘तुझं तू बघ’ हे होतं. ते नको म्हणून पंचवीस वर्षांपूर्वी ‘नको बाळा, आम्ही करतो’ हे आलं. या दोन्हीपेक्षा, ‘चल, आपण दोघं मिळून करून बघूया’, हे उपयोगाचं ठरतं. एक शिक्षक प्रश्नांची उत्तरं देतो. एक गुरू प्रश्नांची उत्तरं कशी शोधायची ते दाखवतो. पोरगं जसजसं मोठं होत जाईल ना, तसतसं आईबापाच्या भूमिकेने शिक्षकापासून गुरूपर्यंत प्रवास करावा. प्रेमाच्या प्रवासात स्वावलंबनाच्या ड्रायव्हिंगचा कोर्स ठेवावा. पोराला मांडीवर बसवून गाडी शिकवता-शिकवता आपण हळूचकन passenger seat वर हलावं; एक हात स्टेअरिंगवर ठेवून. हाच असतो, यशस्वी ‘मम्मी-पप्पा’पणा !”

© अपूर्व विकास
समुपदेशक व मानसशास्त्र तज्ज्ञ
(निगडी, पुणे)
8928183848 (Phone)
7774917184 (WhatsApp)
Phone counseling is available.
http://www.facebook.com/CounselorApoorv
https://counselorapoorv.home.blog

{लेख शेअर केल्यास आभार.
कृपया शेअरिंग लेखकाच्या तपशीलासहित असावं,
ही नम्र विनंती. आवडल्यास जरूर कळवा!}

#आई #बाबा #आईवडील #पालक #पालकत्व #मम्मी #पप्पा #मुलं #संगोपन #संस्कार #कुटुंब #कौटुंबिक #वाढ #वृद्धी #व्यक्तिमत्त्व_विकास #स्वमदत #स्वावलंबन #व्यवहार #कौशल्य #जीवन #विचारधारा #धारणा #सशक्त #सक्षम #काबील #प्रेरणा #आत्मविश्वास #आत्मबळ #आत्मनिर्भर #सजगता

Positive Thinking: The Truth

– “Does Positive Thinking really work?”
– “If we let it.”
– “It fails some people.”
– “It doesn’t. People fail it.”
– “How do people fail an idea?”
– “Implementation.”
– “How do they implement positive thinking?”
– “That’s the thing. They don’t.”
– “But people begin thinking positively.”
– “It’s also where they stop.”
– “But that’s the whole idea.”
– “Imagining positivity?”
– “Yes.”
– “For it makes us feel good?”
– “Yes.”
– “And feelings have power?”
– “Yes.”
– “And Law Of Attraction gets us there?”
– “You don’t believe in Law Of Attraction?”
– “I believe in physics.”
– “What does physics say?”
– “Things have gravity.”
– “Which attracts similar things?”
– “Yes.”
– “That’s what Law Of Attraction says.”
– “Feelings tune us to things?”
– “Yes.”
– “Physics also says energy needs use.”
– “Huh?”
– “Without which it decays into eddies.”
– “Entropy?”
– “Yes.”
– “That’s what happens to people?”
– “That’s when they lose morale.”
– “So when does positive thinking work?”
– “As I said, when we let it.”
– “How do we let it?”
– “When we shift from magic to logic.”
– “What’s magic?”
– “Imagination alone will get us there.”
– “What’s logic?”
– “Imagination needs action.”
– “Oh. So difference is action.”
– “Energy turned into work becomes power. Feelings tune us to possibility. Imagination breeds it. Action nourishes it. The idea is to go through cycles of both. Accept the situation. Negativity itself has seeds for its positive twin. Collect them. Imagine positivity. Begin small. Act in a rhythm. Get gains. Feel good. Cycle those gains back into the hustle. Get more gains. Feel better. Repeat. Gradually add to the volume of resources, imagination, action and emotion. Positive thinking is active thinking. Be real. Stay true.”

© Apoorv Vikas | Life Empowerment
Counselor & Psychologist
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#PositiveThinking #WishfulThinking #DayDreaming #FeelGoodFactor #LawOfAttraction #Imagination #PowerOfChoice #PowerOfEmotion #PowerfulFeelings #Action #ChooseAction #ActiveThinking #ThinkSmart #ThinkDifferent #Focus #Reality #Facts #StayTrue #StayReal #ActionMatters #ResultsSpeak #Gains #MindPower #Success #Growth #Winner #PositiveMindset #LifeLessons #InspirationalQuotes #BillionaireThoughts

Beat Your Self-Doubts.

– “I don’t think I can.”
– “Sure; but do you think you can’t?”
– “That’s what I said.”
– “No. You said you don’t think you can.”
– “Yes; so?”
– “It isn’t the same as its opposite.”
– “Meaning?”
– “What’ll happen if you try?”
– “I might fail.”
– “You might; or you shall?”
– “I mean, I don’t know…”
– “Exactly. Your self-doubt is flawed.”
– “I can’t guarantee I’ll succeed.”
– “You can’t guarantee you’ll fail either.”
– “I might or I might not… It’s uncertain…”
– “So why depend on an uncertain value?”
– “Then where’s the certainty?”
– “It’s in the try.”
– “But that doesn’t assure success either.”
– “Success isn’t its purpose at all.”
– “Huh?”
– “Purpose is to get data.”
– “Data?”
– “Even failure is a result.”
– “How?”
– “It’ll be different than what you have now.”
– “I have nothing now.”
– “Exactly my point.”
– “You mean, I’ll get to know something?”
– “Something you didn’t earlier.”
– “And what’d I do with it?”
– “Let it direct you ahead in the process.”
– “And that’ll be my certainty?”
– “Of course. It’s real data.”
– “So I needn’t think anything now?”
– “You shouldn’t think anything now.”
– “For I have nothing to think of now?”
– “Nothing supported with evidence.”
– “Oh.”
– “Begin thinking when you get results.”
– “And if results prove I’m a failure?”
– “Failure proves the method a failure; not you.”
– “So I change the method and get back into it?”
– “If being better than present calls you, yes.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Success #Failure #Data #Observation #Confidence #SelfDoubt #Experience #Directions #Goal #Objective #Aim #Target #Ambition #Dreams #Inspiration #Motivation #Effort #Result #Dedication #Hustle #Gains #Growth #Progress #Development #Achievement #Accomplishment #Fulfillment #LifeLessons #Winner #Positive

Success Is Data Of Past Failure; Used Differently.

– “Is failure really first step to success?”
– “Failure is any step before success.”
– “For we’re losers until we win?”
– “For we’re students before we win.”
– “How’s failure an education?”
– “By choice.”
– “How do we make that choice?”
– “By reading failure as data.”
– “What data does it have?”
– “We need two things for success.”
– “Which are?”
– “Ingredients and recipe.”
– “What to use and how to use it?”
– “Yes. What and How. The Mechanism.”
– “And failure provides that data?”
– “Which we can use differently.”
– “Please explain.”
– “Failure is essentially a result.”
– “Surely not the one we desire.”
– “Still, a difference from where we began.”
– “Noted. So?”
– “Tell me scenarios of failure.”
– “Case 1: Insufficient Gain.”
– “Best case.”
– “Why? It’s insufficient.”
– “But we know we used right things right.”
– “What do we do with such a gain?”
– “It’s achievement that can be investment.”
– “Put it back into the hustle to get more?”
– “And grow gradually.”
– “Case 2: Total Loss.”
– “Two possibilities.”
– “What’s the first?”
– “We used wrong things. Get different things.”
– “What’s the second?”
– “We used right things wrong.”
– “How do we know which is it?”
– “Explore all ways we can use what we have.”
– “A process of elimination?”
– “Precisely.”
– “Case 3: A gain; but a different kind.”
– “Same as Case 2; but with one addition.”
– “Which is?”
– “We check if it can catalyze our process.”
– “A possible advantage?”
– “Exactly.”
– “So what’s morale of the story?”
– “Failure gives us directions. Keep eyes open.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Success #Failure #Data #Observation #Analysis #Study #Experience #Directions #Goal #Objective #Aim #Target #Ambition #Dreams #Inspiration #Motivation #Effort #Result #Dedication #Hustle #Gains #Growth #Progress #Development #Achievement #Accomplishment #Fulfillment #LifeLessons #Winner #Positive

Problem Solving 101: BE THE SOLUTION.

– “How to find a solution?”
– “Solution isn’t found.”
– “It’s not?”
– “Solution is what we become.”
– “How do we do that?”
– “Understand a fact first.”
– “Yes?”
– “You think you have a problem.”
– “Yes.”
– “You don’t have it.”
– “I don’t?”
– “You are it.”
– “I’m the problem?”
– “Imagine two roommates.”
– “OK.”
– “Both want to go to sleep.”
– “OK.”
– “One falls asleep in a second.”
– “And the other doesn’t.”
– “For he thinks he can’t.”
– “Why not?”
– “He blames the outside noise.”
– “It’s a real problem.”
– “Sure; if you believe it is.”
– “And the solution is to believe otherwise?”
– “That’s self-deceptive thinking.”
– “Then what’s positive thinking?”
– “Know a truth.”
– “Which is?”
– “The other man fell asleep right away.”
– “Yes. How could he?”
– “Simple. He was tired enough.”
– “So the complainer isn’t tired enough?”
– “He’d have fallen asleep if he was.”
– “So situation isn’t the problem…”
– “Our own configuration makes it one.”
– “So the solution is to reconfigure ourselves.”
– “You want sound sleep? Make it a necessity.”
– “Yes. A biological need created by exertion.”
– “Ever made a line smaller without touching it?”
– “Yes. You draw a longer line next to it.”
– “Exactly. To solve, is to be the longer line.”

#Solution #Problem #ProblemSolving #Challenge #Crisis #Catastrophe #Remedy #Questions #Answers #Results #Growth #Evolution #Progress #Achievement #LifeLessons #SituationHandling #Management #Skills #Learning #SelfHelp #Business #InspirationalQuotes #MotivationalQuotes #Strength #Gains #PositiveThinking #MillionaireQuotes #BillionaireQuotes #Winner #Hustle

The Drama Triangle

– “How could she…”
– “She could. She did.”
– “But I was only trying to help her…”
– “That’s your opinion.”
– “Her relatives are evil…”
– “That’s your opinion.”
– “She needed somebody to-”
– “Rescue her from them?”
– “Uh, yeah, maybe…”
– “So you became the rescuer.”
– “And she shouted at me to go away…”
– “So you turned into the victim.”
– “Uh, yeah, I guess…”
– “And now you’re wondering-”
– “What the hell just happened?”
– “You gate-crashed a party, that’s what.”
– “Huh? Meaning?”
– “Or let’s call it a game.”
– “A game?”
– “One you weren’t invited to.”
– “What’re you talking about?”
– “Her relatives are always evil to her?”
– “Countless times.”
– “How do they execute that job?”
– “They make her feel guilty about stuff.”
– “Stuff she has no real reason to feel guilty for?”
– “Exactly. And she-”
– “Knows it perfectly well, yes?”
– “No, she… uh…”
– “She told you they do it?”
– “Yes.”
– “Which means she knows it.”
– “Yeah; I guess…”
– “And yet, she always walks in the guilt-trap?”
– “Never fails.”
– “That’s what makes it a game.”
– “You mean… knowingly role-playing a drama?”
– “By pretending she doesn’t know.”
– “Why’d she do that?”
– “We play games for we get pay-offs.”
– “What’s her pay-off?”
– “Possibilities are plenty. That guilt may be a mirror to personal remorse. Maybe it’s how she confirms her belief: ‘I deserve to feel bad’. Maybe she has a heavy drive for pleasing people. Especially these relatives. Or maybe it’s the Try-Hard drive: she loves to try hard to prove her innocence. Even when she doesn’t need to. They play her; she plays. They play persecutors; she plays the victim. Show goes on.”
– “So she wants this game?”
– “That’s why she plays it all the time.”
– “Now I know why she shouted at me.”
– “Simple. You were unwanted player.”
– “But I just…”
– “Don’t worry about her. Worry about you.”
– “Why?”
– “For you wanted a game too. One of your own. In fact, you wanted it so much that you tried to shift her game to yours. No-one asked for a rescuer; except you. Check why. Is it an inner compulsion? Think it’s your job to distribute justice to everyone? Or is it the rejection that’s the pay-off? You tried; but you weren’t allowed to play the rescuer. Is it a recurrence? Do you always try rescuing those who don’t want it? So that you can cherish the slap you get? For it confirms your life position that people aren’t OK? Check. And stay out of games. They aren’t helping you.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
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Caring Before Sharing.

– “I want healthy relations.”
– “Have healthy communication.”
– “How do I manage that?”
– “How do we communicate?”
– “We speak. We use words.”
– “And what do we convey in words?”
– “Our thoughts.”
– “That’s all?”
– “Feelings too.”
– “So is it emotional space we share?”
– “Sure we do.”
– “Or is it our angle that we share?”
– “Yes, that too. Our approach.”
– “Stay aware, there.”
– “In what way?”
– “Your approaches may differ.”
– “I’m entitled to my opinions.”
– “Is that the purpose of relation?”
– “What purpose?”
– “Establishment of entitlement to differences?”
– “Do I not have that right?”
– “Are you sure you have that right?”
– “Of course I am.”
– “Then why do you need it acknowledged?”
– “No… I… I don’t… I mean…”
– “Do you know why relations fail?”
– “Umm…”
– “People begin with sharing emotional spaces.”
– “And then?”
– “They shift to forcing emotional spaces.”
– “You mean people force their opinions?”
– “About what the other person should feel.”
– “How do they do that?”
– “I notice you’re still single.”
– “Yes.”
– “Hahaha.”
– “Excuse me? Why do you laugh?”
– “Why does it hurt you?”
– “I have my reasons I’m single.”
– “Exactly; and I should’ve known.”
– “Yes.”
– “I chose not to.”
– “Yes.”
– “For I thought it was funny.”
– “Yes. That was your emotional space.”
– “And I dumped it on you.”
– “Without checking if I wanted it.”
– “Exactly; and that’s not sharing. Got it?”
– “Oh… So it’s about caring before sharing…”
– “Perfect. Empathize first, before you voice out. And you’ll be gold.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Relations #Communication #CommunicationSkills #Empathy #Emotion #Feelings #Thoughts #EmotionalSpace #Approach #Viewpoint #MyAngle #Differences #Opinions #Caring #Sharing #Maturity #Awareness #VoiceOut #Patience #SelfHelp #Positive #Social #Society #Mind #Counseling #Understanding #Mutual #Friends #Talks #Words

Best V/S Unique

– “Who wins?”
– “One who’s best.”
– “I need to be best.”
– “Do you wish a win?”
– “Of course I do.”
– “Or do you wish success?”
– “I thought both are same.”
– “Depends on how you see life.”
– “What are my options?”
– “You can see it as a race.”
– “And I can win it.”
– “Will you be happy then?”
– “Are there reasons I won’t be?”
– “A race is organized by someone.”
– “For they see profit in it, yes?”
– “They decide definition of a win.”
– “So I’ll have to agree to fit myself to it.”
– “They decide the rules of the race.”
– “So I’ll have to limit action as per a doctrine.”
– “Maybe you’ll win; but it’s them who grow.”
– “So my win has no gain for me?”
– “Sure it has. But they dictate it.”
– “Why?”
– “They want you to help them grow more.”
– “So my rise will be entry into just another race.”
– “So long as you have the fuel.”
– “And when I don’t? When I burn out?”
– “They find a fresh replacement.”
– “What’s my other option?”
– “See life as a field to turn into garden.”
– “Where do I find the seeds?”
– “That’s the fun. They’re within you.”
– “My talent?”
– “Interest that makes you happiest? Yes. It’s also what’s best in you; for its joy is the inspiration to make it better. Success is making your interests sellable. Evolve your interests. Generate a positive significance. Grow it sufficiently and its gravity will attract those who see its merits. They’ll connect with you. You’ll transact with them on your terms. For you have something they don’t. You’ll get money and prestige; but most importantly, fulfillment. With a desire to continue. That’s what success is. Happiness leading to happiness by staying true to what’s great in you. Evolving it. Rather than burn of a desperate race leading to burn-out. Success is your happiness leading to sharable and sellable pleasures.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Best #Unique #Success #SuccessMantra #SuccessQuotes #Win #LifeGoals #Growth #Ambition #Happiness #Desire #Talent #Interests #Idea #Sellable #Applicability #Production #Industriousness #SelfDevelopment #SuccessMindset #SuccessMentality #Achievement #Accomplishment #Fulfillment #Happiness #Sharing #Pleasures #Corporate #Business #ThinkDifferent

Lantern, Fuel And Soot: Why Ideologies Fail

– “Why do ideologies fail?”
– “You sound surprised at the failure.”
– “I’m, actually. How can ideals fail?”
– “It contrasts the definition of ideal, huh?”
– “Exactly. An ideal is a fundamental success.”
– “Answer lies in that belief itself.”
– “Is it a false belief?”
– “Oh, I think reality has proven it already.”
– “So ideals can’t be fundamental successes?”
– “Ideals can’t be unconditional successes.”
– “Unconditional? Meaning?”
– “You see that lantern?”
– “Yes. It’s mine.”
– “Why do you use it?”
– “To illuminate my path, of course.”
– “How does a lantern do that?”
– “It burns the fuel I put into it.”
– “I saw you cleaning that lantern yesterday.”
– “Yes. The glass catches soot. Gets dark.”
– “Which stops the light, huh?”
– “Yes.”
– “Where does the soot come from?”
– “I guess… impurities in the fuel…”
– “It’s a lovely metaphor for everything. Society is you; the one who wishes an illuminated path. The administrative system used for it, is the lantern. The ideology is the fuel in the lantern. Note that it’s not really an ideology. There’s no such thing as ideal. It’s a theory hailed as ideal. Some of it conforms to our beliefs. Some of it is full of logical impurities. They’re born out of sheer impracticality that says something is valid unconditionally across space and time. It never is; we ignore that truth. The methods we apply serve as the flame. It burns what works and what doesn’t, both. There’s success first, as light out of the lantern. Same as light, it doesn’t stay. But the burnt impurities get coated on the lantern glass; and they stay. Failure, my friend, is imminent.”
– “Noted. What’s the remedy?”
– “Wake up. There’s no perfect fuel; or ideology. But there can be a continuous effort to reach an approximation of it. It asks for realistic assessment of results from so-called ideals. It asks for staying honest to those results. And it asks for continuous refinement of that fuel. Everything must evolve. Including the means we use to evolve ourselves. Make changes consciously.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Ideal #Ideology #Ism #Thought #Belief #BeliefSystem #Government #System #Society #People #Defects #Impurities #FalseIdeals #Truth #Utopia #SocialEngineering #SocialExperiments #Democracy #Socialism #Communism #Capitalism #Fascism #Modernism #Tradition #Traditionalism #Fundamentalism #Religion #Culture #Morals #Ethics

The Well, Water And The Different Thinker

– “I’m in a situation.”
– “We’re always in a situation.”
– “This one is bad.”
– “What’re you doing about it?”
– “Nothing. Don’t know what to do.”
– “Explore.”
– “I did. Checked all angles. No way out.”
– “You checked the angles you know of.”
– “Yes; so?”
– “There’re angles you’re yet to know of.”
– “Are there?”
– “That’s why there’s no way out.”
– “Meaning?”
– “The situation is your teacher.”
– “Won’t let it me go unless the class is over?”
– “Exactly. Be its student.”
– “How do I do that?”
– “A man fell in a dry well.”
– “Like me.”
– “Couldn’t scale up the walls. Never learned it.”
– “Like me.”
– “Then it began to rain.”
– “The well began filling up?”
– “And he realized he had another problem.”
– “Let me guess. Couldn’t swim, huh?”
– “Exactly. But then he saw something.”
– “What?
– “The walls of the well had crevices.”
– “But he couldn’t climb up.”
– “Sure; except now he had assistance.”
– “In what way?”
– “The same rising water he was afraid of.”
– “Oh; so he’d place his fingers and toes in the crevices…”
– “And let the water shed his weight; help him move up.”
– “Smart. So he combined two troubles…”
– “And turned them into a tool.”
– “So I can do it too?”
– “Your situation may be loaded with troubles. But something about them is always useful to you. Look out for that little portion. Think out of the box. Things can be used differently than how they appear. Connect usabilities together. Make your own linkages. At any given time, it’s about actually doing what you can. Remember, there’s always something you can do. Don’t react. Respond. Growth awaits you everywhere.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Situation #Problem #ProblemSolving #Solutions #Troubleshooting #Management #Tactics #ThinkOutOfTheBox #ThinkDifferent #Success #Growth #Progress #Learning #Development #Improvement #Evolution #Explore #Use #Usability #Winner #WinnerMentality #WinnerMindset #Attitude #Approach #ReactVsRespond #Focus #AlwaysLearning #Smart #ReprogramYourself #BeDifferent

Pebbles Make Castles: An Awakening

– “We blame them.”
– “Why?”
– “We’re poor.”
– “Why’d you blame them?”
– “They act as if we don’t exist.”
– “Why does it hurt you?”
– “We also have self-respect.”
– “You sure?”
– “Of course.”
– “Then why do you need them?”
– “Huh?”
– “Self-respect is self-sufficient.”
– “They kept us poor.”
– “Sure they did. Do you know how?”
– “They exploited us.”
– “What enabled them?”
– “They took advantage of our needs.”
– “Or was it desires that surpassed needs?”
– “What do you mean?”
– “My grand-dad was poor. Turned poorer later.”
– “How?”
– “Something he did in my dad’s wedding.”
– “What did he do?”
– “He served a feast to the whole town.”
– “Why’d he do that if he was poor?”
– “The neighbor did the same in his son’s wedding.”
– “And your grand-dad wanted to match that?”
– “For which he took loan from a loan-shark.”
– “Who, later, exploited your grand-dad, huh?”
– “Who, previously, had made it possible.”
– “Why did you tell me that story?”
– “Sounds familiar?”
– “Are you blaming the victim?”
– “Is that what you are? A victim?”
– “Yes. They victimized us.”
– “And it’s become your identity?”
– “Why’d you say that?”
– “You’re still craving for attention.”
– “You shouldn’t blame your grand-dad.”
– “I don’t. I learned from his mistake.”
– “Is it a mistake to try to be happy?”
– “It’s a mistake not to check the cost of happiness.”
– “You don’t look poor.”
– “I’m not. As I said, I learned.”
– “What did you learn?”
– “Two things about growth. The kind that stays.”
– “What’s the first learning?”
– “We grow gradually.”
– “And the other?”
– “It works when we’re consistent at it.”
– “Yeah? And how do we do that?”
– “Get data. Apply. See results. Get more data.”
– “And repeat? That’s it?”
– “Today’s achievement is tomorrow’s investment.”
– “You know what; we don’t have time for that.”
– “Doesn’t look like you’ve anything better to do.”
– “Our survival is at stake.”
– “Great! How many of you are there?”
– “Millions.”
– “Splendid! I was but one.”
– “Why’s it splendid that millions are poor?”
– “It’s splendid that millions have the same aim.”
– “Huh?”
– “And same inspiration of a survival at stake.”
– “Huh?”
– “Provided you choose to see it as that.”
– “Oh…”
– “And share learning. Act together. Save time.”
– “Will that work?”
– “A castle is pebbles bound together. Hell yes.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Poverty #Poor #People #Society #Nation #Nationalism #Capitalism #Capitalization #Communism #Socialism #Industrialization #Industrious #Skills #SkillDevelopment #Development #Progress #Unity #RichVsPoor #HaveIt #HaveItNot #Exploitation #Money #Action #Growth #Rise #Collaboration #Sharing #Together #JoinHands #Change

The LOL Reaction…

– “Why can’t people accept it?”
– “Accept what?”
– “That my opinions may differ to them.”
– “Is that what you want? Acceptance?”
– “Of course.”
– “Are you sure?”
– “Of course I’m sure. Why do you ask?”
– “That’s not what I saw.”
– “Huh?”
– “Neither did that person whose post you mocked.”
– “What did I do?”
– “You tell me.”
– “I explained my view in the comment section…”
– “Is that all?”
– “Oh, you’re talking about my LOL reaction?”
– “You tell me.”
– “But it was a stupid post.”
– “Ooh, you sweet poor Narcissist…!”
– “Excuse me?”
– “What’s your expectation, again?”
– “I want acceptance for…”
– “Difference in opinions, yes?”
– “Yes…”
– “And calling others stupid is how you planning to get it?”
– “But it was really a stupid post…”
– “It might be the sheer embodiment of nonsense – never mind. Question is, why don’t you stay true to what you want?”
– “Meaning?”
– “You expect acceptance. Yet, you offer criticism. Judgment. Mockery. Derision. Think about the psychological impact here. You don’t particularly give them a reason to be liberal with you, now do you? You deviate from your own want. You advocate differences; but you play the role of evaluator. You make them feel threatened. Of course they retaliate; assault your comment. Anybody would.”
– “So what should I do?”
– “Process what happens to you first. This game began from you; for ‘feeling threatened’ began from you. Did you understand? Your LOL reaction was actually a false cover. It was passive aggression; a reaction by your beliefs threatened by that post. Did you realize how unnecessary it was? They might be silly; so what? If you’re sure about yourself, why do you feel so threatened in the first place? Why do you need everybody to be on the same side with you?”
– “You’re right… I felt unnecessarily threatened…”
– “Sweetheart, defiance and acceptance are both two-way streets. It works only when both sides of the road are open. Acceptance begins from you. Be calm. You aren’t placed on this planet to preach people. Sure you can voice what you feel. But if you want acceptance, then focus not on invalidation of their say; but on elaboration of your say. It works wonders when you begin with, ‘I appreciate your views as your personal opinions; I have a different approach.’ Here, your polite assertiveness has a great volume of patience and tolerance. It’s character strength; without either impulsive aggression or people-pleasing submission. Here, you’ll be making conversation rather than tossing grenades. Be real. Don’t react; respond.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Communication #Conversation #Speech #Awareness #Differences #Opinions #Tolerance #Patience #SocialMedia #Comments #post #Disturbed #FeelingThreatened #Feelings #Emotion #Belief #BeliefSystem #Thinking #ThoughtProcess #Reactions #Response #ReactVsRespond #TransactionalAnalysis #GamesPeoplePlay #Defiance #Argument #Debate #Discussion #WinningArgument #makingYourCase

What Are We Telling Our Kids About Themselves?

They saw two.
They declared one “OK”.
They declared another “Not-OK”.
They wondered why the difference.
They asked “OK” why he was OK.
He said, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
They asked “Not-OK” why he wasn’t OK.
He said, “Why would I be?”
They traced OK’s history backward.
He was successful; and loved himself.
Before that, he learned.
Before that, he found an interest.
Before that, he was exposed to ideas.
Before that, he was just himself.
Before that, he thought he was OK.
Before that, he was told it’s OK to be himself.
Before all that, he was just a kid.
Then they traced Not-OK’s history backward.
He was resentful; but loved being Not-OK.
Before that, he was resented.
Before that, he had hurt people.
Before that, people had hurt him.
Before that, people found it’d be fun to do it.
Before that, people found he couldn’t fight back.
Before that, people had mocked him.
Before that, they noticed he wasn’t OK with himself.
Before that, he had tried to be like them.
Before that, he thought that’s what being OK means.
Before that, he thought he wasn’t OK as he was.
Before that, he was remanded for being himself.
Before all that, he was just a kid.
So the two had begun the same.
Both had something positive.
Both had something negative.
It’s just that,
OK was encouraged to be better.
Before that, his positivity was appreciated.
And,
Not-OK was abused for not being better.
Before that, his positivity was ignored.
We become what we’re told as kids.
OK. Or Not-OK.

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#OK #NotOK #BeingOK #Problem #Problematic #Misunderstood #Individual #Society #Family #Upbringing #Psychology #BehavioralPsychology #SocialPsychology #CriminalPsychology #Strokes #ChildCare #Parenting #Teaching #Awareness #Mentality #Mindset #Approach #Love #Caring #Support #SelfHelp #Abuse #Abusive #Scripts #Injunctions

Let’s De-Sentimentalize Success

– “You built an empire. Inspirational.”
– “You’re too kind.”
– “Your children have taken the mantle now.”
– “Yes. I diversified to goals yet left.”
– “Your children have proven themselves.”
– “They look happy.”
– “How did you enable them so much?”
– “I didn’t.”
– “You must’ve trained them under your wings.”
– “Not at all.”
– “No?”
– “I wanted them to be winners.”
– “Exactly; so-”
– “Which wasn’t about turning into me.”
– “Huh?”
– “Or anybody else, for that matter.”
– “You don’t see yourself as a winner?”
– “I see no-one as the only definition of winner.”
– “So winning is… subjective?”
– “Life is in being yourself.”
– “Oh…”
– “Winning is in being best at being yourself.”
– “Interesting.”
– “My children told me I inspired them.”
– “Sure they did.”
– “I told them I was but a reference; see me with no deference.”
– “Wow…”
– “I told them they had nothing to prove. Not to me. Or anyone. To win, is to find ways to be happy. Which are distinct for everyone. So yes, it’s subjective.”
– “Why do people fail at it?”
– “They misunderstand a fundamental.”
– “Which is?”
– “It’s about being real.”
– “They don’t get it?”
– “Ask yourself. Most of us begin with words like goals. Ambitions. Dreams. Not because they have them; but because they think they should have them. So they adopt someone else’s idea of success. Failure begins like that; with loss of originality, right there. Then they shift to thinking about effort. Then they see it’s difficult for everyone around them. So they get convinced it’s gonna be difficult for them too. Then they hear no-pain-no-gain. They decide it’s all about suffering it mutely. They glorify it; for they’re told that’s what winners do. Some step it up. They choose what they hate to do. For they hear that’s how you get success. By abusing yourself. Fooling yourself ultimately gets you to a point where you can’t fool yourself anymore. They burn out. They decide success is all a big hoax. They call it off.”
– “You don’t agree with effort?”
– “Of course I agree with effort; but I’d be real about it. What’s with all this sentimentalization? It’s about desire inspiring action; and result inspiring precision. Explore around. Find what excites you. Get data. Learn how to do it. Practice. Keep it simple. Manageable. Surely out of comfort zone; but don’t get breathless. Set small objectives; check results. You’ll get the tune. You’ll like that you got it. Talk to the result. Put your hands-on learning back into action. Tune things to a rhythm suitable to you. For it’s all about you feeling thrilled. That’s how you sync with it; that’s how you get good at it. The more you sync with it, the more you gain. I’m told they call it achievement. I don’t know. I just call it being happy, to be happier.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Self-Respect V/S Pride

– “What is self-respect, Teacher?”
– “Appreciation to self.”
– “And what is pride?”
– “Appreciation to self.”
– “So both are equal, Teacher?”
– “Not at all.”
– “But you just defined both equal.”
– “Is there water in the ocean?”
– “Sure.”
– “Is there water in a well?”
– “Yes.”
– “Are both equal?”
– “No.”
– “What’s the difference, my Child?”
– “Ocean has its own water.”
– “And the well?”
– “It asks for water from earth’s springs.”
– “What does that tell you?”
– “Self-respect is self-confirmation of strength.”
– “And pride?”
– “Pride is needing others to agree to that strength.”
– “Do you know why that is so?”
– “Please do share, Teacher.”
– “What lets an ocean have its own water?”
– “The water-cycle of earth.”
– “To which it chooses to respond.”
– “Yes; it exercises the self more and more.”
– “And generates a cycle of action and result.”
– “Same as a mind that asks for experiences.”
– “Which builds knowledge of who one is.”
– “That knowledge is self-respect, right?”
– “Precisely, my Child.”
– “And why a well needs those springs?”
– “It doesn’t engage in any new action.”
– “For it depends on water received in past.”
– “Which depletes.”
– “Which leaves it to the mercy of external inputs.”
– “Same as a mind that needs others to feel full.”
– “That need is pride. I understand now, Teacher.”
– “So what’s the learning?”
– “Being active is the key.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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If You Can’t Beat It, Then Be It.

– “Heard you’re a survivor.”
– “I’ve managed so far.”
– “What helped you?”
– “An awareness.”
– “What does it say?”
– “You change; you live.”
– “What is change?”
– “A choice to be more significant.”
– “Meaning?”
– “My grandfather pulled carts for a living.”
– “I see.”
– “He protested when they brought in trucks.”
– “Understandable.”
– “He was jailed for rioting.”
– “Oh…”
– “Taught me something.”
– “Never protest what’s new?”
– “Never need to protest what’s new.”
– “Your granddad shouldn’t have protested?”
– “He shouldn’t have needed to.”
– “What was he supposed to do?”
– “Learn to drive trucks.”
– “How’d he know he’d need to?”
– “The day he lost his job wasn’t the first time he saw trucks; now did he? He wasted energy in cursing what’s new rather than learning it. He refused adaptation and evolution punished him.”
– “Oh…”
– “We live in an ecosystem. Nature made it. Humans rule it. It’s a system of interactions. Lives are sponsored by mutually beneficial arrangements. To live is to be beneficial. To live long is to remain significant. You borrow an idea or you develop one. You make merry for some time. But know that everything is collated and quantified. Which leaves everything expendable and replaceable. New players step in. They have the advantage of time on you. Your idea is right there to be readily studied and discarded with a better one. They do it; and the system celebrates your end. Key is to anticipate it’ll happen. And diversify when you can. Learn what’s new. If you can’t beat it, then be it. Choose growth now, when it’s still an option. Today’s achievement is tomorrow’s investment. Exist in future, here and now itself.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Sensations V/S Passions: Winner’s Approach

– “Are you going?”
– “No.”
– “Why not?”
– “I have other plans.”
– “Everybody else is going.”
– “I find it irrelevant to me.”
– “I find that a bit arrogant.”
– “What’s arrogant about it?”
– “You think everybody else is irrelevant.”
– “No; I find their choices irrelevant.”
– “Why?”
– “Their choices need not decide mine.”
– “Do you think you’re different than them?”
– “I think I’m here to win.”
– “So?”
– “Success is in doing your thing at its best.”
– “So?”
– “Which necessitates actually doing it first.”
– “So?”
– “Which necessitates valuing it first. And I do.”
– “Nobody else values it.”
– “They’re entitled to their opinions. Agree?”
– “Sure.”
– “Then I’m entitled to mine.”
– “Huh?”
– “Same as them; for I’m no different, am I?”
– “Uh… Umm…”
– “Yes?”
– “Do you think you’ll win?”
– “Sure.”
– “Why?”
– “For I’m choosing to try.”
– “And they won’t?”
– “Are they choosing it?”
– “They do what they like.”
– “Really? Or are they all at it like sheep because everyone thinks it’s a sin to be different?”
– “Ah…”
– “Goodbye, friend. I have independent choices to act on and I’m gonna be real busy not giving a rat’s ass if others don’t like it.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Patience of a Winner: Stones and Catapult

Patience (Part II): Patience of a Winner

– “…So what we’re done to -”
– “Is what we can use too.”
– “If life pelts stones…”
– “Net them; swing ‘em back all at once.”
– “But life doesn’t stop stoning us.”
– “Of course it doesn’t.”
– “Life runs out of stones; it throws sticks.”
– “Yes, it levels up.”
– “What do we do then?”
– “We level up too. Match with it.”
– “How?”
– “We make catapults out of those sticks.”
– “Smart; but where do we get the sling for it?”
– “We already have the sling.”
– “How do we already have it?”
– “What’s a sling?”
– “An elastic band.”
– “Good. What else is it?”
– “I don’t know.”
– “It has a grip to encapsulate the stone.”
– “Yes it does.”
– “There you go. Be that sling. It’s a choice.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Be flexible. The ability to compress and expand is a must for survival. It’s what you need to weaponize yourself. Sword blades are flexible; that’s how they can be light and slice through air. Guns have spring loaded mechanisms which make use of previous shot’s recoil to load the next round in the firing chamber. And catapults have that sling. Even in a bare-knuckle fight, the centrifugal force is what puts the charge in the swing of a punch; rather than the strength in arms. And that’s a gift of flexible joints. Nothing rigid ever stands a chance in a fight.”
– “Interesting…”
– “Next, get a grip on things. You need to wrap your head around what happens to you; around the stone pelted at you. Manage emotions. And be quick about it. We’re here to win; stay focused. People think catapult is all about aiming. Before that, you need to pull the sling. Before that, you need to grip the stone in the sling. With your fingers and the grip smartly wrapped around it. Not too loose; not too tight. Just what’s necessary. It’s all about awareness. Key is to know the stone’s not here to stay. It’s a gift by the enemy; just an expendable asset in your arsenal. Be patient and get the rhythm of the game. You’ll win.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Patience of a Warrior

Patience (Part I): Patience of a Warrior

– “Teacher… This is madness…”
– “Is it?”
– “Our Ace is pinned down behind that rock.”
– “Poor kid…”
– “The entire enemy clan is upon him.”
– “They’re merely seizing the opportunity.”
– “They’re pelting stones at him.”
– “They know they’re no match against him in hand-to-hand combat.”
– “They don’t have to be. The stones are enough.”
– “No. The rock shields him.”
– “But how long? They can just close in onto him and finish it. And why isn’t he throwing those stones back?”
– “Is that what you’d do?”
– “I’d fight back.”
– “So is he.”
– “I don’t see it.”
– “You see; you don’t notice.”
– “Meaning?”
– “There’s a reason he’s the Ace. Look at him. He’s calm. Determined. And thinking. Ever the strategist! Seeing beyond himself. He checks his enemy’s weapon. Stones. Two uses. Projectile; or melee. He knows it won’t be a melee. They won’t dare; not against him. They’d stick to projectile use. The stones are at their side; not his. But it’s diminishing arsenal. Look, he smiles. The frequency of stones hitting the rock is reducing. They’re running out of stones. And he has all their stones now. Of course he won’t throw them back – why arm them back? But the same can be his strength. See, he took off his vest. Balling up all stones in it. He knows they know their loss too. It’s a distraction. One of them must be circling around to come at him as a surprise. He doesn’t wait for him; look, he is already off, running and swinging his new weapon; shocking them with his aggression; suddenly forcing them to go on defense; destroying their plans and morale. Look, they all panicked and scattered.”
– “Beautiful!”
– “Be patient and learn out of it. Let it be an enemy or life itself. What it does to you, also tells you of the limits it has to work within. Use that data to your benefit. There’s always a possible match between the negativity that’s happening to you, like those stones, and the positivity you have, like that vest. Join it together and you have a weapon to charge right back at it. And win with a shock.”

#Strategy #Plan #Thoughtfulness #ThinkingMind #ThinkOutOfTheBox #ThnkDifferently #Winner #WinnerMentality #WinnerMindset #Response #Situation #Management #LifeLessons #Career #Business #Competition #Enemy #War #Fight #Resilience #Weapon #ThinkSmart #Use #ThugLife #Hustle #Distraction #Deception #ChangeTheGame #TurnTheTables #SelfDefense #Patience

Winning: Stepping On To Failures

– “Is it true?”
– “No.”
– “Failure isn’t the first step to success?”
– “No.”
– “Why?”
– “It’s not just first step.”
– “It’s not?”
– “The whole staircase is of fails.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Winning is at the top.”
– “Yes; so?”
– “You’re a failure all the time you aren’t at the top.”
– “Oh, sure; we’re all losers until we win.”
– “No, not all are losers. Some are failures; but not losers.”
– “What’s the difference?”
– “What’s a step?”
– “Something you step onto.”
– “And use it to move on.”
– “Yes. So?”
– “Losers see their fail as an obstacle. They call it off right there. Failures who commit to winning, don’t stop. They step onto their fail. It may be a fail; but it’s still one level up: now you know things you didn’t earlier. Maybe stuff that doesn’t work; or perhaps stuff that can work differently. It’s data; and committed souls know it’s to be used differently than before.”
– “Interesting approach…”
– “Maybe it’ll be another fail ahead; but with new additions to that data. Still one level up. It’s not about how high the climb is. It’s about how high you dare to climb. The more you fail and you still don’t give up, the longer your story is; the higher your success.”

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Derision: A False Defense Mechanism

– “I don’t understand.”
– “It’s simple.”
– “It was such a positive thing I did.”
– “Sure it was.”
– “And yet, they laughed at it.”
– “They had to.”
– “Why? Why did they have to?”
– “Let me tell you a story.”
– “Sure.”
– “A wolf had an epiphany one day.”
– “Which was?”
– “He should befriend a farmer.”
– “Why should he?”
– “The farmer had cattle and chicken.”
– “So?”
– “Hunting for game was tiresome.”
– “Sure; but why befriend the farmer?”
– “Promise him protection to cattle; and-”
– “Get a chicken each day as payment. Smart.”
– “Smart for the wolf; stupid for the farmer.”
– “Sure. Wolf protects cattle? Who believes that?!”
– “One day the wolf saw the farmer with a horse.”
– “Farmer was thinking diversification, huh?”
– “Yes. New business, new profit.”
– “So the old business was to shut down?”
– “Yes; which was bad news for the wolf.”
– “Right. No food. So what did the wolf do?”
– “Laughed at the horse. Said it looks ugly.”
– “And the farmer believed it?”
– “Totally. Kicked the horse out. Wolf was happy.”
– “Let me make the linkages. The farmer is my haters’ mind. The cattle and chicken are old ideas they love; unaware that these will run out of use soon. The wolf is negativity, the parasite; playing them with belief of comfort zones that promise false joys. Needing them to stay inert; so that its decay can be exploited. The horse is new idea; the inspiration visible in my positivity. Negativity has to secure its survival in their mind. So it mocks positivity; making sure they reject the inspiration that threatens their comfort zones. Jealousy is a defense mechanism. I get it now.”
– “Sun lightens up birds who wish to soar high. As for worms, it’s a mere discomfort that makes them dive into the dark of mud. If you’re the sun, accept both.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Hardship… And Humility Too.

– “Teacher?”
– “Yes, my Child?”
– “Why do some winners turn losers?”
– “They stop being winners.”
– “Meaning?”
– “What is winning, Child?”
– “Winning is achieving.”
– “Gaining what we lack?”
– “By definition, Teacher.”
– “So what understanding do we need first?”
– “That we don’t have all of it?”
– “That we aren’t all of it.”
– “Meaning?”
– “What we have without, reflects…?”
– “What we have within. Oh, I get it.”
– “So, to have more, is to accept…?”
– “What we don’t have it within.”
– “Which is?”
– “Strengths compatible with that gain.”
– “Such as, Child?”
– “New knowledge. New skills. New ways.”
– “And how do we notice where to find these?”
– “We notice, when we’re looking for it.”
– “And where do we look for it, Child?”
– “Ideas noticeable in others’ speech and action.”
– “And how do we get interested in those ideas?”
– “For we realize they’re different than ours.”
– “So we have to appreciate that difference?”
– “Of course. Only then we’ll learn out of them.”
– “So what’s the quality we need here, Child?”
– “Humility, Teacher. Politeness.”
– “Winners who maintain that, keep winning.”
– “And winners who fail at that, turn losers.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Maturity: Balancing Emotion and Practicality

– “What is maturity?”
– “Acceptance and processing.”
– “Acceptance of?”
– “How things are.”
– “Processing of?”
– “How they could be better.”
– “How do we manage that?”
– “Balancing.”
– “Of what?”
– “Of two drives that challenge us.”
– “Which are?”
– “Emotion and logic.”
– “When do they challenge us?”
– “When we face situation that asks a change.”
– “How does emotion challenge us?”
– “Emotion puts us into denial.”
– “Why?”
– “It saves us the trouble of that change.”
– “How does logic challenge us?”
– “It rejects emotion to force that change.”
– “And that’s maturity?”
– “That’s insanity.”
– “Why?”
– “Emotion is energy. Can’t destroy it.”
– “And if we try?”
– “It shows up later in grotesque form.”
– “So how do we balance these drives?”
– “We accept two facts.”
– “What’s the first?”
– “We need to change.”
– “And the second?”
– “We need to know what to change.”
– “And how do we know that?”
– “Emotion is communiqué in reverse. Grief feels like loss. It’s actually data of what we never had. Such as ability to live without what or who we lost. Anger feels like strength. It’s actually data of what’s not in our control. Fear feels like weakness. It’s actually inspiration for us to find strengths we never had. Difference in opinions feels like a shock. It’s actually data of our intolerances.”
– “And maturity is reading into that data?”
– “Maturity is using that emotional data in logical action for betterment. Maturity is lacing emotion with logic rather than working them against each other. Maturity is constant affirmation to growth. With each situation considered as an opportunity rather than affliction.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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The Peer Pressure Fallacy

– “I don’t want to.”
– “Then don’t.”
– “But I have to.”
– “Why?”
– “They’re forcing me to.”
– “Is it relevant to them?”
– “What makes things relevant?”
– “Will they lose anything if you don’t?”
– “No.”
– “Then it’s not relevant to them.”
– “But-”
– “See any tangible progress in it for yourself?”
– “Not at all.”
– “Then it’s not significant at all.”
– “But still they’re forcing me.”
– “Which means they want a game.”
– “A game?”
– “Your life is reality TV show for them.”
– “They want entertainment?”
– “Which they’ll, for they get to play judges too.”
– “Yes.”
– “Question is, why do you let them?”
– “Because-”
– “Don’t tell me again they’re forcing you. You’re in a room with them. They want you to jump out the window. They can’t make you do it. All they can do, is scream at you to do it. Which means, it’s YOUR choice. Even if you tell yourself you did it for they made you, it’s still your choice. Not theirs.”
– “OK.”
– “Question is, what do you get if you do it?”
– “They… stop screaming…?”
– “Why do you need them to?”
– “Because it’s… unbearable to hear them?”
– “What part of it makes it unbearable?”
– “The… judgment in it?”
– “Why is it unbearable?”
– “I… don’t know…”
– “What is judgment?”
– “It’s… lack of…”
– “Acceptance. Appreciation. Approval. Which is what you crave. Which makes its lack unbearable. For you tell yourself it’s something to be outsourced. To get externally. That’s the misconception that’s duping you. To live, is to love yourself. Not telling you to worship yourself like a goddamn Narcissist. But surely accept yourself for who you are. Get your own approval for what that is.”
– “So what are my options?”
– “Stop being with people who want to edit you to their specifications. You can be right there in the room shamelessly with them. Let them figure out you ain’t jumping. See if they can live with that. If not, there’s a door to that room. It’s called self-respect. Open it. Either walk out or shove them out. Make space for yourself; and for people who’re willing to accept your originality.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Fundamental Dysfunctionality In Isms

They ask me if I’m any xyz-ist.
Title of some ism. Attached with ‘ist’.
Placing its boundaries around me.
Limiting me within its constraints.
Making a follower out of me.
I say no. No, I’m not any xyz-ist.
Why?
First, I don’t need to.
Second, I don’t want to.
I don’t need to, for I’m no follower.
I may be no leader, sure.
But I have my paths. Mine alone.
And I like to know rather than borrow ideas.
And I don’t want to, for I want balance.
Something that no ism ever provides.
George Orwell says in his ‘Animal Farm’:
“All animals are equal.
– Some are more equal.”
I’ve seen isms turning people into that.
More equal animals.
Fighting with other isms.
Fighting with their side of ‘more equal’.
Masculinism v/s feminism. Check.
Capitalism v/s communism. Check.
Individualism v/s socialism. Check.
Traditionalism v/s modernism. Check.
They all say they shall bring order.
They all say they aren’t biased.
Or prejudiced.
They all fail, in the end.
For they all commit one major sin.
They stereotype.
They stereotype both sides of their laughably obvious unequal equation.
They declare an entire group “victim”.
They declare another entire group “villain”.
And they totally miss out on individual differences in either one of those groups.
They all begin by claiming to fight an inequality.
They all end up overcompensating; just turning the tables on that inequality.
They think that’s their win.
They never realize it’s their greatest fail.
What’s worse a defeat, than you turning into the same blackguard your presumed enemy is?
And what’s worse a way to fail, than merely copying your enemy’s sins and excusing yourself for it?
Oh, don’t tell me it’s a revolution.
It’s a game laced with adventurism that takes two to play.
And they both play to fail. That’s all.

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Toxic Relationship: The Compulsions To Continue One

– “I need your help.”
– “What for?”
– “I heard you broke up with your partner.”
– “Yes, I did.”
– “I heard it was a toxic relationship.”
– “Yes, it was.”
– “I’m in one.”
– “And you want to get out.”
– “How did you get the strength to do it?”
– “Strength is a choice.”
– “For?”
– “Awareness. Of what made it toxic.”
– “It’s the games we play, right?”
– “Sure; but it’s about why we play them.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Tell me what games you’re playing.”
– “Emotional hijacking, basically.”
– “How so?”
– “My partner wants to be a child, basically.”
– “And you’re supposed to be the parent.”
– “Exactly. ‘Mature’, ‘caring’, ‘understanding’.”
– “So that the child can be none of that.”
– “Precisely. And if I denounce it -”
– “You’re slammed for not understanding love.”
– “Exactly. It’s so unfair. And I’m tired now.”
– “And you tried communication.”
– “Which-”
– “Failed.”
– “Yes. Which was the end of everything.”
– “Except you’re still not out.”
– “No. But I need you to know something.”
– “Yes?”
– “I introspected. I know we agree to play such games only because we get perks too. And I’m NOT playing. I want no perks.”
– “Which means you’re playing with someone else, if not your partner. Getting perks from them.”
– “Who?”
– “Maybe parents. Who don’t want to see you single. And who you don’t want to antagonize either. Or peers. Who make you want not to be single. Maybe both. But there’s a third party.”
– “Who?”
– “Yourself. The one who makes the same mistake rest of society does.”
– “What is it?”
– “We’re more in love with the idea of being in a relationship, rather than the actual people we call our partners. There’s a taboo associated with solitude. We’re told to see it as a crisis. Something to avoid. Run away from. We’re programmed to serve that taboo. That’s why we rush to title togetherness as love in the first place. Which is what’s making things fail as well.”
– “I agree.”
– “I don’t advocate changing partners as swiftly as changing clothes. And I’m not telling you to be alone forever either. But here we’re talking about post-communication-failure phase. When our partners have made it clear they’re in it only if we’re willing to get taken for granted. I do suggest to pay heed to your self-respect. And know that it’s better to be alone in peace rather than getting slow-poisoned by emotional hijackers. If people talk, tell them it’s none of their business. It’s not them who’re suffering. It’s you. And you have a right to be happy. I acknowledged mine. You can too.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
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Tantrums: Voicing Out Victimhood, Or Fortifying It?

– “I’m angry.”
– “I know.”
– “I’m hurt.”
– “And you’re punishing people for it.”
– “I am.”
– “Except it’s not working.”
– “How’d you know?”
– “That’s why you’re angry.”
– “Why isn’t it working?”
– “Your tool is tantrums.”
– “I know I’m being irrational. But-”
– “It’s purposeful, right?”
– “Exactly. I want people to know-”
– “That they’re making you do it.”
– “Exactly.”
– “Exactly why it’s not working.”
– “Meaning?”
– “For they didn’t make you irrational.”
– “But they-”
– “Hurt you, sure.”
– “So-”
– “Which left you with a choice.”
– “What choice?”
– “Communication. You didn’t choose it.”
– “But the choice of displaying irrationality-”
– “Was not that communication at all.”
– “How can it not be?”
– “Again, it’s not working, is it?”
– “No. But why can’t they understand?”
– “You aren’t showing what you need them to see.”
– “I need them to see I’m-”
– “A victim?”
– “Yes.”
– “They see a rebel.”
– “A rebel born out of victimization.”
– “What does a rebel do?”
– “Well, a rebel rebels against victimization.”
– “So it’s vengeance?”
– “Umm… Yes…”
– “Is that your original goal?”
– “Isn’t it?”
– “I thought it was communication.”
– “How I could’ve communicated?”
– “By voicing yourself out in words. Giving them a chance to come to their senses.”
– “But what if they don’t listen?”
– “Did you try?”
– “No; but what if I try and they don’t?”
– “Then you choose to see reality as it is. A victimization is data for us. Read it. Figure out what part of you made it possible for them to victimize you. Is it your dependence on them? Get out of them and work on that part. Get strengths you didn’t have. Grow. Be someone they can’t hurt. If you wish betterment, make your own space in life. If you wish revenge, make that space bigger than theirs. If you wish justice, make their space insignificant by presenting yours as a better option. That’d be the adult thing to do. Right now, all they see is a rebellious child. Sure that child needs to be heard; but no-one takes a child seriously, now do they? Children talk in tantrums. Adults speak with actions. Use a language that makes people listen to you.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Tantrums #Rebel #Rebellion #RebelliousChild #Victim #VictimIdentity #Victimization #Anger #AngerManagement #Pain #Hurt #EmotionalManagement #Communication #Dialogue #Speech #VoiceOut #Action #TransactionalAnalysis #Games #ChildEgoState #AdultEgoState #Focus #Betterment #Growth #Maturity #SelfHelp #SelfEmpowerment #Counseling #Relationship #Awareness

That’s Not Me…

– “You have healthy social relations.”
– “Yes, I do.”
– “What’s the key?”
– “Awareness of communication.”
– “Please elaborate.”
– “Do you see that leaf?”
– “Yes. It’s green.”
– “How do you know it’s green?”
– “For sunlight hits it. And green is the only color out of the color-spectrum that gets reflected by the leaf. The rest gets absorbed.”
– “Good. There’s one more reason.”
– “Which is?”
– “Your brain has been programmed to perceive this particular shade as green.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Our senses bring reality to us. Our brain models it in a way it can understand, to acknowledge it. It’s not just modeling. It’s remodeling. It’s a translation.”
– “So there’s difference between true form of reality and the one we perceive.”
– “Exactly. Translation omits some bits and adds a few. And this is a fundamental understanding we need about communication. People talk to us. We listen. But what we get out of it, is a remodeling. A translation. We pay selective attention; we omit some bits and add few of our own perceptions to it. Our beliefs and biases and prejudices gate-crash this party. And we may not always understand them. I maintain awareness that it might be happening when I talk with people.”
– “Oh.”
– “So I don’t move ahead to reactions immediately. I check if I’ve understood them correctly. I think of things I might’ve missed. I share my perceptions and give myself a chance to get rectified. It gives them a chance as well to reconsider what they just said and, if needed, change it toward healthier forms. Use language consciously; that’s how you win relations.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Communication #CommunicationSkills #Dialogue #Talks #Speech #Speaking #Discussions #Language #Reaction #Response #Bias #Prejudice #BeliefSystem #ThoughtProcess #Awareness #Conscious #Mindfulness #Reality #Perception #Understanding #Misunderstanding #Impressions #Relations #People #Society #SocialAwareness #Mind #Limits #SelfHelp #LifeLessons

You Have No Idea Of My Goals.

– “You’ll lose.”
– “Have you?”
– “No.”
– “Then how do you know I’ll?”
– “Nobody walks your path.”
– “Nobody walks anybody else’s path.”
– “You won’t reach your goal on this path.”
– “Do you know my goal?”
– “Everybody has the same goal.”
– “Have you met everybody?”
– “No.”
– “Then you don’t know.”
– “You’ll find defeat on this path.”
– “Because nobody walked it?”
– “There must be a reason nobody did.”
– “Or maybe that’s what everybody thought.”
– “But why do you risk it?”
– “For nobody else is.”
– “Do you see this as an adventure?”
– “I see this as an opportunity.”
– “Of what?”
– “Of being someone nobody else is.”
– “You’ll lose time and energy.”
– “I have nothing better to do.”
– “But-”
– “Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Worry about why you have so much time worrying about me.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
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“Moons” and “Stars” and crap…

– “But what’s wrong in it?”
– “Did I say it’s wrong?”
– “No… But you’re implying so.”
– “Am I? Or is it your need to assume that?”
– “Why’d I do that?”
– “You tell me.”
– “Couples have nicknames for each other.”
– “Sure they do.”
– “And it’s OK if those words sound childish.”
– “Sure it is.”
– “We all need a space to be a kid again.”
– “Sure we do.”
– “And relationship is for us to be ourselves.”
– “Sure it is.”
– “Then why do you oppose it?”
– “Again, why do you think I oppose it?”
– “Why else would you create this quote?”
– “Read it again.”
– “You’re contrasting those sweet nicknames-”
– “With maturity, adulthood and equality?”
– “Yes.”
– “I’m not contrasting.”
– “Then what’re you doing?”
– “I’m asking people to match them.”
– “Match them?”
– “For they can be additions rather than opposites.”
– “Why?”
– “For you said we all need a space to be ourselves. Absolutely true that we should get it via relationship. Absolutely true that a part of it is being a kid again. But we mistake that to be the whole point of a relationship. Relationship isn’t two kids playing house. Relationship is two adults giving each other space to be themselves. Which may be same as being a child; but that differs a lot from being childish. To make that space work, we need to have an adult awareness even when we’re being a kid.”
– “Oh…”
– “There’s nothing wrong with those nicknames. But words have a power to them. They make us mistake the role for the character. “Babes” expect their partners to play “parents”. That’s where they’re duped. “Kings” and “Queens” expect their partners to play “slaves”. That’s where they’re duped. It’s give-and-take, dear. It works only when we stay rooted to the mature adult equality and mutual respect while playing house. Stay real.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Love #Relationship #Couple #Romance #Boyfriend #Girlfriend #CoupleGoals #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipGoals #Stress #Resentment #Depression #Anxiety #Thoughts #ThinkingPatterns #Beliefs #BeliefSystems #Emotion #Feelings #Hurt #Pain #SelfHelp #Awareness #Adult #Maturity #Equality #GamesPeoplePlay #Expectations #SelfTalk

Class V/S Mass

– “Why do they mock me?”
– “For you won.”
– “What’s there to mock in it?”
– “The way you won.”
– “How did I win?”
– “You did what they never did.”
– “I thought a bit out of the box.”
– “They all do.”
– “So why mock me for it?”
– “You did something bold.”
– “What?”
– “You actually applied that thought.”
– “And I won. Why mock it?”
– “You don’t get it, do you?”
– “No.”
– “They don’t give a rat’s ass about winning.”
– “Oh.”
– “But they do care about the norm.”
– “The norm that failure is for them?”
– “Failure takes a try. They never did.”
– “So not trying is the norm?”
– “Exactly.”
– “Why?”
– “They want life as it is. They hate growth.”
– “A comfort zone?”
– “One that’s threatened by your win.”
– “How’s it threatened?”
– “For it proves thinking differently works.”
– “Not just differently. It takes precision too.”
– “One you achieved by trial and error?”
– “Yes.”
– “Meaning repeated effort and fails?”
– “Of course.”
– “Something that threatens laziness?”
– “Yes… Oh…”
– “Now you get why they’re threatened?”
– “Yes. I get it. What should I do about it?”
– “See it as the receipt it is.”
– “Receipt of what?”
– “You’re officially in thinking winner class now. Separated out of mindless mass. Celebrate your distinction.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#Winner #Win #Different #Distinction #Thinker #ThinkSmart #ThinkDifferent #OutOfTheBox #Class #Mass #Ordinary #Extraordinary #Society #Criticism #Mockery #Taunts #Comments #DealingWithHaters #ComfortZones #FeelingThreatened #Jealousy #Awareness #Empowerment #SelfHelp