{Please note that this post voices a view-point; without judging, shaming, preaching, but respecting people who prefer alternate viewpoints. Take what you find useful. Leave what you don’t. Take nothing personally.}
– “You’re rare.”
– “I know.”
– “Huh?”
– “Oh, pardon me if I sounded arrogant.”
– “Not at all. You sound like you know you’re unique.”
– “Each one of us is. I might be just a bit more aware of it.”
– “Where did you get that awareness?”
– “The key-point of evolution.”
– “Which is?”
– “The mistake.”
– “You made no mistakes? That’s your uniqueness?”
– “On the contrary I made plenty of mistakes. Most of them were common with others; at that age; at that phase of life. Made me mediocre rather than unique, I suppose. Gave me equally common regrets as well.”
– “But you chose to ignore that sadness.”
– “On the contrary I went deep into it.”
– “Didn’t that hurt more?”
– “I was already hurt with shame and consequences of my mistakes. I thought I should make some profit out of it.”
– “But where did you get that energy?”
– “Why, wasn’t the pain so full of energy? Couldn’t it have been my inspiration to work on it?”
– “Oh. That’s beautiful.”
– “Not at all. That was gut-wrenching, in the beginning. Then my guts got used to it. I was traveling in reverse; starting from the destination; searching for the origin of my pain. And I saw the truth behind all pain. The origin was same as the destination. I had come full circle. I had begun with pain in my life. In the form of things I lacked. All my actions were to cancel that pain. They had brought me to the same pain. Same lack. And I saw the purpose of this game.”
– “What was it?”
– “Identity.”
– “Pain gives us identity?”
– “When we’re unconscious. When we sleep-walk through life. When we don’t know that’s what we’re doing to ourselves. When our thoughts and beliefs and feelings set themselves in a pattern; to forge later in life as misery of self-victimization. Concrete and true. Unless we choose to be conscious.”
– “And how did you become conscious?”
– “I identified thought-patterns that had felt correct to me and had landed me in trouble. Desires I had mistaken for needs. And needs I had mistaken for deniable luxuries. Sacrifices I had mistaken to be noble. And arrogance I had mistaken for independence. Enemies I had kept close as friends. And loved ones I had rejected as useless. I sensed a recurrent theme.”
– “And what did you do with this knowledge?”
– “I realized that different paths do not make different journeys if the traveler remains unchanged. I began a new journey. Where I chose to be new. New situations woke up the same old thoughts in my mind; but now I was aware. All I had to do, was to select a different thought and a newer action, and see where it takes me. Of course, not all new thoughts led to desirable outcomes. But now I was free of my blindfolds; capable of freely observing, analyzing, improvising, adapting. Being new. Being better. The old building of my life was raised down to heaps of bricks; but that gave me the same bricks I needed to build a new building with a different architecture for me. That’s how I rose from the ashes.”
– “Wow!”
– “Sure, I still remember my old mistakes; but now they’re memories; not regrets. I have lived a full life. For today. But who knows, tomorrow I might begin a whole different journey…! That’s what keeps me excited. I have a well-understood past that lets me welcome an unknown future.”
© Apoorv Vikas | Life Empowerment
Psychologist & Counselor
#Past #PastRegrets #ProcessingPast #Memories #HurtfulMemories #Mistakes #PainManagement #Emotions #Feelings #ThoughtProcesses #BeliefSystems #ProcessingMemories #Understanding #KnowingYourself #Introspection #SelfHelp #SelfCare #SelfAnalysis #OpeningUp #NewJourney #Learning #SelfEmpowerment #Counseling #Psychology #Help #Happiness #FindingHappiness #SelfRectification #SelfCorrection #Healing
Counselor Apoorva 