Why I Don’t Argue…

– “You don’t argue. Are you scared?”
– “Of wasting time? Oh, sure.”
– “But arguments help us force our views.”
– “I have no reason to force my views.
I’m entitled to my opinions.
Others are entitled to theirs.
Sure, I’d like fans; but I need no slaves.”
– “But your ideas have so much merit.
Don’t you think people should follow?”
– “Not at all. I thank you for your appreciation.
But I stay aware of a simple fact.
Each one of us is a unique system.
My ideas are compatible to my system.
Others’ ideas are compatible to their system.
There’s no single perfect perfection.
Nothing applies to everyone.
I never make the mistake of thinking
the world needs me or my ideas.”
– “You’re so down to earth. But others aren’t.
Many have no idea what really suits them.
Most people adopt ideas. They build none.
Yet, they fervently believe
they know perfection.”
– “Absent awareness, ideas lead to pride.
And that breeds an insecure need to force it.
And that’s their flaw.
I have no reason to copy it.
I have goals. Sure, I may need people.
But people are useful only when they think.
I need conscious souls;
not just programmable machines.
So I voice myself out.
I explain why I find what I say useful.
And then I move on to fulfill my goals.
Those who’re compatible with me,
accompany me. They see a common goal.
Those who aren’t compatible with me
are irrelevant to me.
They can move on to their goals.
And if they take offense and argue,
it means they can’t move on. I see no reason
why I should let it stop me too.”

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Managing Differences…

– “They’re not OK with you right now.”
– “Acknowledged! Appreciated!”
– “But I don’t see you doing anything about it.
Don’t you value the relation?
Are you going to talk to them?”
– “I did.
I asked why they weren’t OK.
They said they didn’t agree with me.
I asked what was disagreeable.
They said my views were disagreeable.
I asked if I was hurting anyone,
physically or mentally or financially.
They said, no; not physically or financially;
but mentally.
I asked if I was invading their personal space.
They said no. So it wasn’t emotional hurt.
So I asked again, how it was mental hurt.
They said my views were different to theirs.
And that was disagreeable.
I said it also means
their views were different than mine.
But I didn’t find it disagreeable.
For we’re all different people.
And it’s only natural to have different views.
I could accept that. I could agree to disagree.
Relations aren’t built only on similarities.
They’re also founded on
acceptance of differences.
I asked if they could see that truth.
Turns out, they couldn’t. Which is OK.
I don’t just accept they’re different.
I also accept they can’t accept I’m different.
And as for value of the relation,
I don’t see why it should equal
sacrifice of my original self.
For yes, I value my relation with myself too.
So I said goodbye and left.
And yes, I’m at peace.”© Counselor Apoorva
Psychologist{Wish you a strong life.
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Different!

– “Why do they hate him?”
– “They’re scared of him. Fear breeds hatred.”
– “But he’s such a nice guy.”
– “Even saints have been crucified, my friend.
They don’t care if he’s nice.
Their problem is, he thinks different.”
– “So what? He just minds his business.
Sure; his ways are different; but
he pursues his goals absent exploitation.
Sure his ideas are different; but
he shares his opinions without force.
He advocates no violence.”
– “Which should’ve been relevant.
But not for them.”
– “Why not?”
– “Only those who bother to think
will find it relevant.
Here, we’re talking about a herd.
People join a herd,
only when they don’t think.
They can; but they choose not to.
Intellectual laziness. That’s how they begin.
Absent independent thought,
they feel vulnerable. They join a herd, for
the herd provides an illusion of security.
Absent thought, they declare it reality.
The herd demands only one contribution.
Nobody should ever call its bluff.
And nobody who joins it ever does.
Except, then they see people like him.
The ones who stay out of the herd.
And still manage to live good.
He shows them one can stay out of the herd.
He calls their bluff. That’s why they hate him.”
– “It’s so unnecessary. Yet, he’s so calm. How?”
– “He understands differences.
He understands not everyone can.
He accepts both.
He avoids the mistake they make with him.
They demand he should be same as them.
He doesn’t demand
they should be same as him.”

Sexuality

Existential Sexuality:
Sex is when we accept ourselves as we are.
Stay true to who we are.
Agree to present that self as it is.
No roles. No guises. No pretences.
No drama. No games.
Only nature.

Physical Sexuality:
Sex is to turn our bodies into pools of sensations.
Out of which two can have satisfaction.
Sensations turn to joys when sharing is mutual.
We wish excitement and ecstasy;
We offer tolerance and patience.
We play and we play along.
We’re innocents; and we’re mischievous.

Emotional Sexuality:
Sex is to promise full acceptance to emotions.
As they are. No restrictions. No rejections.
Sex is when we rest our egos
on the pillows of compassion and acceptance.
Sex is when we’re mindful of
each other’s needs;
and offer sustenance and fulfillment.

Intellectual Sexuality:
Sex isn’t just between two bodies.
Sex is between two personalities.
Sex is acknowledgement to their independence
as well as congruence.
Intelligence glistens when minds connect.
Sex is when we build a bridge between
two independent intellectual structures.

Spiritual Sexuality:
Sex is unity.
Sex is integration.
Sex is to become one.
Sex is to transcend selves and
merge into each other’s souls.

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Turning Rocks Into Idols!

– “Teacher, I see ordinary people.
With extraordinary achievement.
It must take monumental effort.
It defies logic that ordinary people make it.
Yet they do. How?”
– “Monument!
Yes, that’s an interesting choice of word!
Tell me, Child.
What do you think is a monumental effort?”
– “A gigantic superhuman effort all at once.”
– “Same as what most people think effort is!
Same as why most people declare success
impossible for ordinary people.
Now tell me. Have you ever seen,
how do they turn rocks into monuments?”
– “They sculpt those rocks.
Chisels and hammers.”
– “Do they finish it with a single superhuman
strike of a hammer on a chisel?”
– “Of course not. It takes thousands of strikes.”
– “Do you think a gigantic quota of energy is
required for any single one of those strikes?”
– “No. Just a small portion of energy suffices.”
– “A portion that matches the ordinariness
of the sculpture’s physical strength?”
– “Yes. But still,
one needs precision in each strike.
And one still needs thousands of strikes…
It’s only natural to fear
the consistency necessary here.”
– “Then one only needs to know how many strikes at a time let one maintain that precision without burning out and losing it. One needs to contribute only what one can manage at a time. Do that; take a rest; recover; re-engage. And once one notices there’s nothing extraordinary about it, one also realizes there’s no reason to fear the consistency required for those thousands of strikes. No-one needs to reach the summit in a single lunge from the mountain-base. And no-one needs to run up the slope like a zombie on steroids. All one needs is to focus on one small step at a time. Know how many steps are manageable at a time. Take those steps. Rest, recover, re-engage. Keep it real. Rome wasn’t built extraordinarily in a day. It was ordinarily built day-by-day. That’s why the end result was extraordinary! That’s only why!”

© Counselor Apoorva
Psychologist
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Winner V/S Non-Winner: Transcendence V/S Convenience

– “Winners v/s Losers.
What’s the basic difference?”
– “Winners go for transcendence.
Losers go for convenience.”
– “I see.”
– “Success and failure are life-situations.
Our personality reflects as a life-situation.
By thought, speech, action and transaction.
Everyone is a non-winner, until they win.
But not necessarily a failure.
To change from non-winner to winner, is to
change into a person compatible with a win.
It asks one to step out
from comfort zone to growth zone.
To challenge self to face risks.
To use the fight to learn. Grow. Adapt. Evolve.
It asks for changes in personality.
These changes are unfamiliar.
Thus, inconvenient.
They’re a threat to who we are.
They’re the tool to become who wish to be.
Losers avoid them as the threat.
Winners embrace them as the tool.
Most people never fulfill their full potential;
for they limit themselves only to what’s easy.
Successful people fulfill their potential;
for they enjoy expanding it.”

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Success Journey: Beating Boredom

– “You’re so consistent in effort.
I’m not. I can’t be. I get bored.
Don’t you?”
– “Sure I get bored. It’s only natural.
Even when we chase what inspires us.
We love the destination.
We may not necessarily like the journey.
My secret is nothing special.
I just accept that I don’t have to like it.
Boredom can’t stop anyone.
It’s our choice to use it as excuse to stop.
I don’t. I choose to see it as
just a part of the process. That’s all.”
– “But how? Boredom appeals us to quit;
deviates attention to pleasures elsewhere.
How do you beat that appeal?”
– “To beat it, is to notice it as the lie it is.
It helps to remember three things.
~ Why did I start?
Answer: I hated where and who I was.
~ How was it?
Answer: Actually much miserable,
if honestly compared with current boredom.
~ What if I stop?
Answer: Pleasures for a short-term; with
the price of worsened misery in long-term.
I beat the appeal; for I see no appeal.
I love where I’m going.
I hate where I came from.
Boredom is alive when I forget that.
It’s killed when I remember.”
– “Yes. You stay aware of reality.”
– “Sure. And one more thing. I get smart.
I cut my long-term goal into small objectives.
To be achieved one after the other.
I know my threshold.
I set my finish-lines accordingly.
After each finish, I give myself a treat.
Little motivations,
sustaining the long journey.
My mind tries to play with me.
I play my own game with it.”

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Doubt Your Self-Doubts.

– “How do you deal with self-doubts?”
– “I don’t ask for their opinion.”
– “But they offer it nevertheless.”
– “I don’t take what they offer.”
– “But they’re so convincing.”
– “And since we know that, it’s easy
not to fall prey to their marketing.
All we have to do is to remember:
OF COURSE it sounds real.
It’s that bitch, negativity.
Knows how to sell things.
Knows how to create customers. But,
manipulation works only till we’re ignorant.
It’s a choice to stay aware.”
– “But how? How do you always stay aware?”
– “Not always, sure. But whenever I can.
And the key is to be a bigger bitch.
By asking for proof.
Negativity wants me to believe it.
Hey, why would I accept what’s unverified?
It says I’m safe without growth; and
I’m unsafe with it.
I challenge it to prove both.
Turns out it can prove neither.
Turns out I’m not safe without growth;
for I immediately notice dependencies and
uncomfortable compromises I have to make
absent growth.
That discomfort is so real; can’t beat it.
Now it’s simple. Only other choice is growth.
And of course,
I find growth uncomfortable too.
But I also notice, that
it’s in my control to manage it.
I can always choose to grow gradually.
Taking manageable risks with fallback plans.
No need to do something crazy.
In fact growth is when you have it
step-by-step.
Like taking a baby in your hands.
Nice and slow; but attentive and focused.
Best thing about growth is that
it lets me be smart about it.
And no negativity can beat the reality of
real results of a smartly customized plan.
I beat self-doubts, not by lying to myself;
but by actually proving them a lie.”

Abandoning The Ship : Morality V/S Reality

– “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
– “I’m pretty sure of it;
but what is it now, particularly?”
– “You’re quitting. You shouldn’t.
The ship is going down.
It’s your moral obligation to stay.”
– “And drown?
Darling, since you’re preaching morality,
let’s check some facts as well.
I see three possibilities.

One. Am I the captain of the ship? If I am,
was it my action that’s sinking the ship?
If it was, then sure, I agree I need to stay.
At least until others escape safely.
At least I should help that as much as possible.
For I failed as a leader.
Moral obligation. However,
I don’t see why I should stay after that.
I’d rather escape; try to live another day;
introspect where I went wrong; and
try to make it right the next time.
Do I deserve a second chance?
If I can make use of it, then I believe I do.

Two. I’m the captain; but it’s someone else’s
action that’s sinking the ship.
Was it a glaringly obvious mistake?
The kind I should’ve realized if I was attentive?
Then yes; we’re back to possibility one.
But what if it was a fluke action by one of my guys?
Sure, you’ll cry it’s still my failure as a leader.
But is it really reasonable to demand
that a leader should have superhuman control
over every single possible action
by those under his command? I think not.
But yes, I’ll stay and try to figure out
if and how we can salvage the situation.
If I can’t, I see no logic to punishing myself.
I’ll jump.

Three. I’m just one in the team.
If it’s my mistake, I’m pretty sure
they’d toss me into the water hands-tied
well before I figure out my morality.
But if it’s not my mistake,
if I never knew anything about it,
I see no reason to cry morality.
I’ll still check if I can do anything to help.
Not for morality; but for humanity.
If I can’t, hell yes I’ll jump.
The guy who screwed up didn’t ask me
while he was at it, so why should I die for it?”

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When They Say, “You Can’t…”

– “How do you deal with those
who wish to discourage you?
Those who say ‘You can’t’?”
– “They wish to play a game.
They hope I’ll fight for my case.
They hope I’ll explain why I can.
I don’t play their game.
I play my own game. On my terms.
I don’t fight for my case.
Instead, I ask, ‘Can you?’.”
– “And then what happens?”
– “There are three of them.
The first realize they can’t either.
People hate it
when you make them realize that.
They go away.
The second know they can’t all along;
they just hope I wouldn’t turn out
any more special than their crowd.
They answer, ‘Nobody can.’
Then I ask, ‘Why not?’
They give me reasons why not.
They tell me how they tried and failed.
It informs me of useless ways
I should avoid. Useful data.
The third boast, ‘Yes, I can.’
I get closer; pat their biceps;
smile the most humble smile;
let them see how dazzled I am.
They get in the mood to school me.
And I get in the nerd mode.
They teach me all I need to know for free.
Sometimes they even end up
finishing the job for me.
What more do I want…?”

© Apoorva | Counselor & Psychologist#personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #motivation #mindset #inspiration #selflove #selfcare #growthmindset #success #lifecoach #growth #love #mindfulness #selfdevelopment #mentalhealth #selfimprovement #leadership #goals #coaching #meditation #selfgrowth #selfawareness #positivevibes #entrepreneur #life #selfhelp #lifecoaching #positivity #loveyourself #bhfyp

Life V/S Progress

– “What motivates progress?”
– “Inspiration of what can be.”
– “For it provide a hunger?”
– “It provides a forward drive.”
– “What motivates life?”
– “Satisfaction of what is.”
– “For it provide stagnancy?”
– “It provides stability.”
– “So life is in satisfaction.
And progress is in dissatisfaction.
They’re opposites.”
– “Now, why would you say that?”
– “Satisfied souls will never progress forward.
Satisfaction cancels need for change.
To progress is never to be satisfied.”
– “Oh, my friend… To believe that,
is to undermine the basic goal of progress.
We climb a mountain only to rest at its peak.
Experience the view. What’s the point,
if we deny ourselves that view?”
– “This is so confusing.
How do we balance life and progress?
What should we do?”
– “There’s nothing we ‘should’ do.
That’s what makes things confusing.
Why live as per some dictations?
Why play a scripted role in a drama?
Why not keep things natural?
Why not just stay true to what you feel
at present, any given time and place?
Climb a mountain. Get that view.
Enjoy what’s nice in it fully.
Accept what’s wrong in it fully.
Maybe you’ll get bored a while later.
Maybe you’ll notice another mountain.
Then get going. Get a different view.
Wherever you are, know two things.
It’s artificial to cling to present views
knowing they could be better.
It’s also artificial to reject present views
lusting for mountains that appear better.
Stay natural.
Listen to your system. Stay true to its call.
Choose when to stay and when to leave
with aspiration;
neither self-negation nor desperation.”

Success and Happiness : A Realistic Correlation

– “How do success and happiness relate?”
– “What is happiness?”
– “It’s a state of mind.”
– “How do we arrive at it?”
– “Happiness is a choice. We make that choice.”
– “How do we make that choice?”
– “We make peace with our situation.”
– “Can a hungry dog make peace with hunger?”
– “I imagine it may not be biologically possible.”
– “For that hunger is very real. Undeniable.
Yes?”
– “True.
But feeling sad over it won’t work either.”
– “True.
But are those the only options available?”
– “Well, the dog can try finding food…”
– “By turning hunger into a drive for exploration?
By expanding its boundaries?
Aiming for growth?”
– “Sure. So success is basically growth
which makes it possible for us
to choose happiness, huh?”
– “If we remember it, then sure.”
– “Do we ever forget it?”
– “Suppose the hungry dog loves chicken.
But we tell the dog, that
rats are the latest trend.
All dogs are going for rats. It should too.
And the dog agrees.
Shifts to a rat-infested area.
It will get nutrition. But,
would the poor creature find satisfaction?”
– “I imagine it’s not psychologically possible.
Each dog has its own taste for things.
So success isn’t just about expansion.
It should also relate with satisfaction.”
– “Growth and happiness provide for each other.
Happiness is the goal. Growth is the tool.
Growth provides actualization to happiness.
Happiness provides a direction to growth.
Know what you truly love. Stay true to it.
Work toward it. Consistently. Progressively.
It’s alright if it differs to others.
Life is in developing choices
that let you be you.”

© Counselor Apoorva
Psychologist
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The Drama Queen!

– “How can anyone be so immature?”
– “Because it’s profitable and possible.”
– “Meaning?”
– “What did you notice?”
– “A drama queen and whole lot of drama.
Stupid tantrums, screaming, shouting, crying.
Totally meritless points. Baseless. Childish.”
– “Or so it was projected on stage.
A drama is scripted.
It’s written behind the stage.
With some seriously smart thinking, actually.
Knowing the audience.
Knowing what will work,
on whom and how and when.
Knowing who can be fooled into thinking
‘Oh, such a poor victim…’
So that they might step up on the stage;
become another actor; play a role:
~ Enter ‘The Rescuer’.
Or knowing who can’t face a scene.
So that they might step up on the stage too;
Become yet another actor; play a role:
~ Oh, here comes ‘The Damage Controller’.
The Drama Queen aims at making
others work for her or him;
So that she or he won’t have to!
That’s what makes it profitable.”
– “So the audiences became actors…
Hmm… Interesting. The Drama Queen
didn’t put a gun to their heads.
They could’ve simply walked away.
The drama would’ve failed right there.
No audience; no drama.
But no. They chose to continue it.
You’re right. They made it possible.”
– “Question is, why?
Answer is, it seemed profitable to them too.”
– “How?”
– “Most people live aimless lives.
They lack concrete identities.
These dramas provide opportunities to
have identities, if only temporarily.
It’s a game. Of course only the Queen wins it;
but who said fools aren’t useful?
When you have nothing better to do
apart from participating in stupid games,
know that the house always wins.”

Progress V/S Success

– “How does progress differ to success?”
– “Imagine two fitness enthusiasts in a gym.
One focuses on just lifting heavy.
He challenges his strength. And sure,
Nature rewards him with more strength.
He lifts heavier and heavier.
Until one day he realizes he can’t.”
– “Let me guess. Overused joints. Pain.
What about the other one?”
– “He cycles through the whole menu.
He lifts heavy for low repetitions;
focusing on exertion. He gets strength.
He lifts moderate for moderate repetitions;
focusing on muscle control. He gets size.
He lifts light for high repetitions;
focusing on endurance. He gets stamina.
He also hits the cardio line.
At times he swims; sometimes he jogs.
He rises gradually, progressively,
in all directions of fitness.
He doesn’t just use himself as expendable.
He builds himself more capable.”
– “So what’s the difference in approach?”
– “Progress is addition. Success is evolution.
You can be a winner in one class and retire.
Or you can be an achiever of life forever.
There’s money. There’re relationships.
There’s society. There’re your hobbies.
When you’re focused on one,
stay wholeheartedly at it. But, focus
in one shouldn’t blind you to the rest.
This is your life. Live it to the fullest.
Evolve multidirectional.”

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Business V/S Industry

– “There are business-people.
Then there’s you.
You’re more successful. Why?”
– “I’m not a businessperson. I’m industrialist.”
– “What is business?”
– “Business is to be sellable.”
– “What is industriousness?”
– “Industriousness is to buy being sellable.”
– “You buy other businesses?”
– “I buy productive mechanisms.
Sometimes I find those in people’s minds.
Sometimes I find those in organizations.
Sometimes I find those in new ideas.
I connect with all of them.
Usability comes in varied forms.
I can’t be all of it. I don’t need to.
I just need to provide a space where
usability feels accepted and nourished.
Businesses love productivity. Me too.
Difference is,
many business-people try to enslave it.
Instead, I give it care.
Sure I buy it; but not just by money.
I buy it with love. It loves me back.”

Relationship V/S Situation-Ship

– “My relationship isn’t working.
It was so vibrant, exciting, promising.
Now it’s cold, stressed, depressing.
What went wrong?”
– “Was it ever a relationship?
Or a situation-ship?”
– “Meaning? What’s a situation-ship?”
– “Two people meet. In specific situations.
A workplace. A party. A vacation.
She’s coming out of a breakup. Or rehab.
He’s solving issues. Work. Home. Finances.
Or maybe they’re just too hormonal.
They find a connection. And it’s a totally
valid connection… for that situation.
They assume it’s totally valid elsewhere too.
And they begin playing out scripted roles.
He dresses the way she wants.
He provides a listening ear to her woes;
there’s sex in it for him later.
Or just an answer to the mental compulsion
to have a girlfriend.
She helps him out when his wallet is empty.
She provides what he calls caring when he’s
back to his ten-year-old self;
there’s facility for emotional dependence
for her in it later.
Or maybe it’s just awesome sex; they think
the physical connect can extend elsewhere.
They try it. And of course they fail.”
– “As did we. Why? Why our situation-ship
didn’t turn into relationship in my case?”
– “It could have. After all,
all relationships start as situation-ships.
But it requires certain reality-checks.
Instead, people keep playing those roles.
And then one day they can’t, not anymore.
Turns out, she’s too much.
Turns out, he’s impossible.
Situations lead to attraction. Easy.
Relations ask for contribution. Not so easy.
It requires both people to be bold and
step out of those roles; be true to self;
bring out the best in that self;
stay honest about the worst in that self;
let the other person see both;
and check if their realities match.
It requires avoiding the rush to declare things.
And instead of waiting to see
if things work out,
get proactive and check if they can.
Love flourishes in that zone, where
both people are consciously contributing.
Both changing. Adapting. Growing. Evolving.
Check if you had that.
Check if you can have it, now.
And if you can’t,
remember one day you need to.”

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The Bastard Who Just Doesn’t Quit

– “Others shine like stars when they win.
You’re so polite when you win.
Others go dim when they fail.
And you get so vibrant when you fail.
How so?”
– “When I fail, people want me to believe
I’ll fail again. They want me to give up.
I see it as an opportunity.
Not to prove them wrong.
I don’t care what they think.
I see it as a chance to experience,
once again, my best trait.
I’m relentless. I’m tenacious.
I’m a goddamn leech for success.
Failure doesn’t tell me I failed.
It tells me how much I love winning.
Failure hurts.
I use that pain, before it dims me.
I show up. I never give up.
It’s so crazy to get back on your feet
each goddamn time I fall down.
It’s so unreasonable. I love it!
And then I take it one notch further;
I put reasonability into the unreasonable.
For I don’t just show up and repeat things.
It’s insane to apply same methods
and expect different outcomes.
Failure is data. I read into it.
Was it inadequate effort in right direction?
Or was it useless effort in wrong direction?
Do I need to do different things?
Or do I need to do things differently?
I study. I learn. I apply.
People see a stubborn idiot.
In truth, I’m not even the same person.
I’m changing. I’m adapting.
Each failure takes me closer to success.
When I win, it’s polite.
For after I’m done being an arrogant
bastard who loves himself too much,
I’m humble to Mother Nature
who put that grit in me
to choose winning no matter what.”

Firm Footing Confirms Ascent

– “You reached the top.
I tried too. I failed.
I collapsed. Why?”
– “People collapse for two reasons.
They grow breathless.
Or they twist their ankle.
In either case, it’s the rush to go up.”
– “Yes. I rushed. But isn’t it a natural urge?
How did you avoid it?”
– “It helped to remember that
a twisted ankle wouldn’t take me there.
And I had a real boiling desire to be there.
Which meant I had to do what it takes.
And if patience is a fundamental to it,
then I wouldn’t reject it; I’d embrace it.
The journey isn’t separate from destination.
The journey turns into the destination.
Which meant,
I needed to respect the journey before
I reached the destination.
Each step I take forward,
is one brick for the wall of my success.
Of course I’d take each step with
love, care, respect.
Firm footing confirms ascent, my friend.
Any given moment,
that’s all we need to focus on.
A true footing.”

Standard Way V/S My Way

– “Why don’t you go for it?”
– “I don’t find it suitable to me.”
– “Everybody else is going for it.”
– “I’m not everybody. I’m me.”
– “You think you’re unique?”
– “Each one of us is.
It’s just that most people forget it.
They don’t explore who they are.
They don’t explore who they wish to be.
They avoid that intellectual effort.
They like to believe the crowd knows better.
It helps them deny they’ve chosen ignorance.
Cunning profiteers know that tendency.
They cash on it by herding the cattle
to an oasis of so-called better opportunities.
Some cattle spend whole lives grinding in
others’ mills. Some get slaughtered.”
– “But is that the only possibility?
Isn’t it also possible,
that the scholars have figured
the best way for us all?
Isn’t it your arrogance as well as loss
if you deny that?”
– “Of course it’s possible that some scholars
have mistaken themselves for messiahs.
The kind funny enough to think that
there can be ‘one best way’ for everyone.
The kind audacious enough to think
they have enough intelligence to define it.
Many have claimed their path is the best.
Ever seen any path that worked for all? No.
How many could stay on track?
How many lost themselves along the way?
My friend, a true scholar will always know,
that everything is relative.
Each one of us is different.
Each one of us is a system, a universe.
There’s a fit for each one.
But there can never be one fit for everyone.
I do not claim I know what my path is.
But that’s not an excuse to surrender
to the appeal of an oasis.
On the contrary that’s reason to explore.
Experiment. Analyze. Introspect. Learn.
Implement. Grow. Unlearn. Relearn.
And I’m at it.”

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Science V Spirituality

– “You’re strange.
You’re noticed in scientific seminars.
You’re present for spiritual meets too.
You study Dr. Stephen Hawking’s works.
You ponder over ancient texts too.
What are you, really? Scientific or spiritual?”
– “Need I be only one? Can’t I be both?
And much more?
I’m a student of life. I wish to know reality.
I need Observation. Which has two elements.
The Observable. And the Observer.
An Observation occurs only when
the two are tuned to the same frequency.
What we Observe is only a reflection
of what’s within us in that space-time.
So we don’t just Observe reality.
We Create it too, simulteneously.
We’ll understand an Observation only when
we Observe the Observable and Observer
both.
I wish to know What I observe.
But I also need to know Why, How and When
it’s me who happens to observe it.
Only then my learning gets a complete sense.
So I don’t limit myself to a viewpoint.
I ask for multiple angles.
As any true student will.
Science tells me What I Observe.
Spirituality tells me
How I can use it to know myself better.
I need both.”

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Winners And Losers : Both Are My Teachers

– “Who’re your teachers?”
– “Winners as well as losers.”
– “Why losers?”
– “That’s what losers think too.
What’s to learn from losers?
Why not just focus on winners?”
– “Yes. Why not?”
– “Our eyes see the future.
Our feet are planted at present.
Losers lose,
for they make one of two mistakes.
Some losers never look forward.
Some losers look only forward.
They never check the ground under their feet.
Winners inspire me to look forward.
Losers motivate me to have firm footing too.
I need both.
I inspire to be what I want to be.
But I stay aware that I’m not that person yet.
Success is in evolving compatibility with it.
I’ll climb the mountain only when
I plant each foot at present firmly.
Reality of present mustn’t blind me to future.
Glory of future mustn’t blind me to present.”

The “Enlightened” One

– “They say you’re The Enlightened One.”
– “That’s a title they’ve given to
what they perceive of me.”
– “How did you rise above human limits?”
– “I didn’t. I still need to nourish,
hydrate and oxygenate myself.”
– “But you rose above material pleasures.”
– “I didn’t. I still enjoy music, art;
even an occasional sport.”
– “You don’t seem enlightened.”
– “I never said I am.”
– “But you’re starkly different than most.
There’s an unmistakable radiance to you.
You’re vibrant and peaceful, at the same time.
It’s obvious you’ve reached spiritual heights
others haven’t.
How could you, if you still find pleasures in
music, art and sports?”
– “Oh, I also find pleasure in sex.”
– “Huh? What? What??”
– “My friend, my goal was to find peace.
My goal was never to stop being human.
Why would I stop enjoying life?”
– “But… But…”
– “Most embrace a polar extremity.
They sink in debaucheries and indulgences.
Some embrace the opposite polar extremity.
They try their hand at complete abstinence.
Both fail.
There are limits for us, at either direction.
For indulgence as well as abstinence.
We cross those limits, we get punished.
The indulgent ones get disease in body.
The abstinent ones get a rebellion from body.
I never transcended those limits. No need.
I just figured out where they were for me;
I learned how to live in-between them.
The key was moderation.
There was no need to reject desires.
Desires aren’t evil; they’re Nature.
Evil is when desires turn to lust; it’s artificial.
I just needed to master their gravity on me.
Peace isn’t when we reject ourselves.
Peace is when we’re in control of ourselves.
Peace is when we choose rather than obey.
I just learned to choose
stepping in when I want to; and
stepping out when I need to.
Awareness of that ‘when’, is my strength.”

Caring: Reality Checks

– “What is caring?”
– “Keeping love available.”
– “I keep love available.
But my loved ones resist it.
What am I doing wrong?”
– “How do you avail it?”
– “I encourage them to have the best.
I discourage them to take risks.
I want them successful, happy and safe.”
– “How do you define what’s best?
How do you define what’s unsafe?
How do you define success and happiness?”
– “From my own experience.”
– “And there we notice the error.”
– “Is it wrong to talk from experience?”
– “It’s beautiful to talk from experience.
It’s ugly to declare it as
the only possibility for all. My dear,
Each one of us is a unique system.
You’re one. Your loved ones are too.
Nature and nurture make us so different.
Each one reaches out to life differently;
Life responds to each one differently;
Each one reacts to it differently.
So each one of us has a different story.
Your story has widened your experience.
But has it limited your perspective?
Check if you’re looking at everyone
from your own frame of reference.
If so, then stay aware: that frame
doesn’t limit others to your reality.
It only limits you to your reality.
Know that everything is relative.
Are you placing your limits onto others?
In the name of caring?
It’s restriction of their spaces; they hate it.
Your limits aren’t necessarily theirs.”
– “Then how can I care absent such friction?”
– “Caring is when we explore things together.
Help your loved ones explore; get awareness.
Help them make choices suitable to them.
Know that those choices may be alien to you.
It’s OK.
You were alone. Tell them they won’t be.
Your job isn’t to limit their strengths
with your weakness.
Your job is to be their strength
during their weakness. That’s caring.”

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The Wise One

– “They call you the Wise One.”
– “No. That’s the label they’ve given
to what they see and
how they perceive it in me.
They have no idea who I actually am.”
– “And who are you, actually?”
– “I have no idea!
When it comes to knowing,
I’m no different than them! I only know
my perception of my senses about me.
We only ever get a picture of reality;
not reality itself.”
– “Why do you say that?”
– “There are situations. Then there’s me.
Together, we form a predicament for me.
It affects me. I know it by my senses.
That’s reality, turned into an electric signal.
That’s the first lapse.
For there are biological limits.
Most of the data is never gathered.
Only a little part comes in.
Then my system decodes that data.
That’s knowledge, turned into a picture.
That’s the second lapse.
For informing is remodeling.
There are giant gaps in the picture.
My own memories, biases, prejudices
fill in the blanks.
In the end, I hardly add anything new.
I just mould everything to
what I already know.”
– “Sure. And yet, you’re obviously different,
if not the Wise One. What makes you so?
How do you transcend this limit?”
– “I don’t. I can’t. So I reverse its meaning.
I don’t see information as insight of things.
I see it as an insight of who I am.
I check for compulsions of
what I want things to mean; they tell me
who I’m compulsively trying to be, in turn.
So that I can choose to change myself,
if I don’t like the landscapes I’m drawing
and the self-portraits I’m making.”

Ego V/S Self : Reaction V/S Response

– “Am I my Ego?”
– “No. You’re your Self. Ego is an imposter.
It hijacks your personality.
When Self seeks logic in thought,
Ego demands sentiment.
When Self seeks reason in speech,
Ego demands intransigence.
When Self seeks rationale in action,
Ego demands violence.”
– “How to defeat Ego?”
– “Focus on helping the Self to win,
rather than forcing the Ego to surrender.”
– “How do I help the Self to win?”
– “Be conscious.
Self will ask you to stay true to it.
Ego will demand you to play a role.When someone crosses you,
Self will ask you
to check the need for retaliation.
Ego will demand you to assume it’s there;
and play a role full of aggression.Self is free. Natural.
It’s a reply to here-and-now,
as per who you are here-and-now.
Ego is locked. Artificial.
It’s a reply to here-and-now,
as per a script.Self is free to make choices and RESPOND.
It leaves you free to exercise
passivity as well as activity,
tolerance as well as aggression,
as per the need of the situation.
To that effect, it also leaves you open to
understand what the situation needs first.Ego is absent choices; it screams to REACT.
It demands to stick to a pattern.But there’s a tiny space before Self and Ego,
where you have the choice to select one.
You avail it to yourself by staying aware of it.
That’s your power. That’s your win.”

Experience: Perception V/S Knowledge

– “Absolutely not! I know!
I have an experience.”
– “You have AN experience.”
– “One is enough.”
– “Or do you want it to be enough?”
– “I know what I saw.”
– “Sure. Same as you don’t know
what you didn’t see.
One experience gives us a perception.
Not a perspective. It has its limits.
For what we saw had its limits.
To know, is to venture beyond those limits.
To know, is to know that what’s knowable
shall change.
People do. Things do. Situations do.
To know is to be present for the present
with a free mind.
To know, is to experience repeatedly
from variety of angles.
Experience is a tool, my friend.
It’s useful when you’re free of biases of
earlier experiences and open to new ones.
The goal is to form an understanding
rather than a standpoint. It’s a choice.”

Success V/S Progress : Evolution, Not Just Expansion

– “Teacher, I find success.
But I can’t call it progress.
The weight on my shoulders rises every day.
I knew higher heights bring greater tasks.
But I fail to find the strength to bear it.
Why?”
– “Tell me, Child. What is success?”
– “Growth.”
– “How do you grow?”
– “Addition.
I learn what I need to add.
I learn how I need to add it. And I expand.”
– “Splendid that you expand.
But do you transcend?”
– “What is transcendence?”
– “My Child, success isn’t just addition.
It is evolution.
Which also comes with subtraction.
There are certain people in life.
They have their own beliefs.
There are certain material things in life.
They have their own places.
There are certain ideas in life.
They have their own applicability.
There’re boundaries and expiry dates to all
those beliefs, places, applicabilities.
They may have been useful to you once.
But maybe today they pose an opposition
to further growth; for they expect you to
limit yourself to their specifications.
Or perhaps they were never useful;
But you couldn’t practically lose them earlier.”
– “Yes. It’s both. Totally.”
– “But today it may be possible for you to shed that load. Why not, after all these gains? And maybe, you’re failing to make that choice, by choice. Check if you’ve developed a useless bond with these un-necessities. Check if it’s actually you who wish no more growth. Maybe that’s why you’ve held on to them. So that you can claim you’re trapped, sapped of your strength; and blame it all on them. Stop playing games. Things cling to us only when we cling on to them. Stop. Let go. With expansion comes transcendence. With addition comes subtraction. Add what you need. Shed what you don’t. Then you’ll be new. And that’s when success feels like progress.”

The Power Above Will-Power

– “Teacher, what is the greatest power?”
– “Self-awareness.”
– “I thought it was our will-power.”
– “Why?”
– “It makes things happen.”
– “Are they the things we want to happen?”
– “They can be, if we choose so.”
– “So the choice to use will-power,
is a power above will-power, am I right?”
– “Yes, Teacher.”
– “And we’d know when, where and how to
use our will, only if we’re aware of
when, where and who we are; and
when, where and what we wish to be.
Fire is a power.
Full of light; yet absent vision.
Hence, it’s a slave to us.
Used wisely, it cooks our food.
Left to its own, it burns that food to ash.
Stay aware of yourself, my young friend.
Be in control of it; for there’s fire in you.
With awareness, we create and reproduce.
Absent awareness, we consume and destroy.
Unconscious ones are slaves to their fire.
And that fire is slave to profiteers.
Only the conscious ones enjoy freedom.”

Loser Beliefs V/S Winner Beliefs

Losers and winners, both have beliefs.
Loser beliefs go like this:
– I want things in a certain way
for myself and others should agree to that,
dictated by my sentiments.
– None of it is in my control.
– I won’t try to bring any of it in my control.
– And when things don’t turn out my way,
I’ll feel bad.Winner beliefs go like this:
– I want things in a certain way for myself,
as per logic, reason, rationale.
No, I don’t place others in the equation;
because their lives are their own.
– Most of it isn’t in my control.
– So I’ll surely try to bring
as much as possible in my control.
– I’ll accomplish objectives step by step
and I’ll enjoy my growth.

© Counselor Apoorva
Psychologist#successful #success #successmindset #motivation #entrepreneurship #entrepreneurlife #hustle #nevergiveup #hardwork #successquotes #like #motivationalquotes #happy #follow #yourself #motivated #bhfyp #positive #entrepreneur #motivationquotes #quotestoliveby #loveyourself #motivations #business #quotesaboutlife #quotestagram #motivationalquote #wisdom #inspiration #lifelessons

Dark

– “Your path is dark.”
– “I don’t have a path.”
– “It’s there. You can’t see it.”
– “I don’t complain. I prefer it.”
– “Why?”
– “If the path was lit,
it’d be because someone else lit it.
Someone before me.
If I followed the lights,
I’ll see the path;
but I won’t know the destination.
I’ll know it only when I reach it.
And it won’t be necessarily one I’d want.
I’m not here to copy someone else.
And if I don’t want others’ destinations,
I need to pave my own paths.
And I need to shine my own light.
I prefer it; for it keeps my mind free.
And I need that unlocked thinking.
For success is to play a sport; not a role.
I can win at a game,
only when the moves are mine.”

(To Win) V/S (To Be A Winner)

– “Why do people fail?”
– “They try to be a winner.”
– “Shouldn’t people try to win?”
– “Of course they should.
But they don’t try to win.
They try to be a winner.”
– “What’s that supposed to mean?”
– “To ‘win’ and to be ‘a winner’, differ.
To win is to grow what’s best in you.
To be ‘A’ winner is to copy what’s best in
someone else who won.
That creates a divergence.
Success is being best at being yourself.
For you can exist only as yourself.
Anything else is scripted role in a drama.
Except most people fail to see it.
They see evolution as rejection of self
rather than adaptation of that self.
They say they want to prove themselves.
They end up role-playing someone else.
Of course the role fails.
A banyan tree sucks at playing
a coconut tree.
It was never supposed to grow tall.
But it always had abilities to grow wide.”
– “But what if you don’t know
what’s best in you?”
– “Explore. Experiment. Observe. Notice.
Play first; commit later.
Check what resonates with you.
Resonance occurs when you find
a natural ease with an action.
That’s when desire syncs with ability.
That’s what fuels growth.
That’s how you win.”

Thorns In The Way? Or Tools For You?

– “You won. I lost. Why?”
– “We must’ve chosen differently.”
– “We aimed for the same goal.”
– “We must’ve aimed differently.”
– “We walked the same path.”
– “We must’ve walked differently.”
– “You were so vibrant. I wasn’t. Why?”
– “I was inspired. Were you?”
– “At the beginning, yes. Then it faded.
Thorns in the way. Did they not hurt you?”
– “You eat fish?”
– “Sure. I love fish.”
– “Do the bones annoy you?”
– “No. I focus on the flesh.”
– “No, you focus on the taste.
For you love it.
And that love helps you focus on the flesh.
For that’s where the taste is.
And that’s what you look for.
Sure you notice the bones. But,
you don’t see them as obstacles.
You see them as doors to open
and get to the taste that you love.”
– “Yes, it’s my approach.
Which I failed to apply on our path.
We both saw the thorns.
I saw them as obstacles.
I chose to let them discourage me.
You didn’t. You stayed true to your goal.
But don’t you think too many thorns would
eventually discourage anyone?
How could you maintain your inspiration?”
– “My friend,
Those fish bones aren’t just trash.
They can be picked out and used as tools
to reach difficult places in the fish and
get to tasty flesh otherwise forbidden.
I didn’t ignore those thorns on our way.
I pulled them out.
Some were useful as weapons.
Some turned into nails
when I needed ladders.
As I said, we chose differently.
I could maintain my inspiration;
for it wasn’t just a goal.
It was also the fuel for new ideas.”

Success: Leading To Happiness

– “Does success lead to happiness?”
– “Depends. How do you approach success?
Do you find it? Or do you build it?”
– “How do we find success?”
– “It’s when you see it as a destination.
So there must be a right path to it.
You find that path and you walk on it.”
– “How do we build success?”
– “It’s when you see it as evolution.
So the path itself is destination.
You build a path; it builds you into success.”
– “What’s the key difference?”
– “When you see success as a destination,
know that it’s already set. It calls the shots.
Your job is to obey. Fight the battle.
Deny yourself and copy other winners.
When you arrive at the destination,
the moment of arrival is so fleeting.
It comes and goes.
You look back; you see nothing but sacrifices.
And you question, was it all worth it?”
– “Oh.”
– “When you see success as evolution,
know that it’s a playfield. You call the shots.
Your job is to play. Enjoy self-development.
Accept yourself and change out of interest.
When you finally finish their construction,
it’s solid. Concrete.
You look at its contours; you see
the beauty of personal transcendence.
And you know, it’s priceless!”
– “Wow…”
– “True success isn’t about winning a prize.
It’s about changing into a better person.
And not a different person.
Success isn’t really in what you win.
Success is really in how you win.
Water the seeds of your positive self;
so that you can flourish without losing self.
For yes, you need that original self.
Happiness is a choice; but you can choose it
only when your original self feels
accepted and nourished, rather than
denied and starved.
So choose a way that resonates with you.”

Modern V/S Untraditional

– “Do you believe in being modern?”
– “Yes.”
– “So you’re untraditional?”
– “No. I’m modern.”
– “That’s what I said.”
– “No. You called me untraditional.”
– “Is there a difference? Why?”
– “For there should be.
If we define modern
only as an opposition to tradition, then
we’re limiting it to extremely sad,
narrow constraints.
It becomes yet another tradition
to think, speak, and act merely as
an opposition to cultural tradition.
We oversimplify things;
we reverse old notions of
‘acceptable’ and ‘unacceptable’;
we mistake debaucheries for happiness;
we mistake indiscipline for revolution;
we mistake indulgences for freedom;
we end up losing control;
we pay the price for it with
broken societies, communities and selves;
and traditionalists use it against us
to advocate adherence to old ways.
In other words, walk this way and
tradition will still control us.”
– “Appreciated.
So what’s being modern, really?”
– “Being modern means living a mindful life.
Stick to no scripts, patterns, forms, sets.
The goal is to live a personal and social life
with maximum emergence and no violence.”
– “How do we take care of emergence?”
– “Ideas change significance across situations.
Being modern is to observe that change
and change approach accordingly;
while staying true to the goal.
That takes care of personal emergence.”
– “How do we take care of non-violence?”
– “We need tolerance for differences
so long as opinions advocate no violence.
We need acceptance of unity in variety.
That takes care of non-violence.”
– “So the key is to be consciously vibrant.”
– “Indeed. It needs live, real-time thought.
Consciousness. Alertness. Awareness.
Being modern is when we learn
it’s not an ism.”

Dreams V/S Goals

– “You won. Congratulations.”
– “Thank you.”
– “Did you ever dream of it?”
– “Sure. Long ago. But just once.”
– “Just… once?”
– “I dreamed and I woke up.
I imagined and I got up.

It was awesome!
It was brilliant!
It must be mine!

It resonated with me.
Now it was time
to make me resonate with it.

It felt sensible to me.
Now it was time
to make me compatible with it.

Yes, a bridge needs construction
from both ends.
My dream had started it from its end,
by thrilling me for it.
Now I needed to meet it halfway,
by building me for it.

Now it was time
to turn imagination into implementation.
Now, it wasn’t a DREAM.
Now, it was a GOAL.
Not a glimpse anymore.

Now, it was a vision.
People said I was changing.
I said I was evolving.”

Negativity Itself Is Inspiration

– “Many seek inspiration out there.
Some find it within.
Why the difference?”
– “You see that haphazard pile of bricks?”
– “Yes.”
– “We can say it’s chaos.
For that’s what it is at present.
We can see it as validation for inaction.
If we do, it’ll crumple further into dust.”
– “Yes. Entropy. Disorder out of disorder.”
– “Or we can say
it’s availability of building blocks.
For that’s what it can be at present.
We can re-arrange it into walls.
If we do, we build a house.”
– “Yes. Order out of disorder.”
– “In the first case, we await inspiration.
We expect someone to show us
how to build houses.
And maybe someone will.
And it’ll be no different than
turning some other pile of bricks into walls.
For that’s what solution and success is.
Rearrangement of what is into what can be.
Sure, the present pile may not be enough.
We’ll need more bricks. But,
they’ll always come from a dusty pile only.
Nobody ports ready-made portions of walls.
That’s what life offers. Not a dish.
But ingredients. And hunger.
A few of us are aware of this reality.
That’s why they don’t await inspiration.
That’s why they don’t see the present as
an obstacle to live good.
They see the present as an opportunity
for their skills to build good.
And once you accept that truth,
you don’t see your hunger as reason to grunt.
You see it as the very inspiration to hunt.”

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Obsessions: People V/S Ideas

– “Sexy? Hot? Smart? Funny?”
– “And beautiful. Elegant. Graceful.”
– “So when’re you going to talk?”
– “Why should I?”
– “Umm, for the glorious list we just made…?”
– “I don’t chase people. I chase ideas.”
– “Why? You don’t want to be with someone?”
– “Sure. But first, I’d like to be someone.”
– “Sounds smart. But you know,
the someone you want to be with
won’t wait for you to finish being someone.”
– “I know. And that’s why
I’m not waiting for anyone either.
At least, not anyone around me at present.
They’re all that someone right now.
And I’m not.
Which means they can always go away.
And if I chase them, I’ll be like the moon.
Always courting the earth.
Always spinning with it.
Tagging along wherever the earth goes.
Never realizing
that the earth has the sun in mind.”
– “So you wish to be the sun.”
– “Yes. Not because I want any earth
to spin around me.
But because the sun’s shine
doesn’t fade away
even if no earth spins around it.
The sun depends on no-one for its light.
And enjoys a position in its life
far beyond any demands of
approval, appreciation, acceptance
from anyone else.
It depends on no variables.
That’s what I’m chasing.
That stability. Composure. Peace.
And self-radiance.
That’s what thrills me.
Sure I’ll merge my light with another star
if I see one capable enough for a union.
But I’ll always shine my own light.”

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Sheep? Or Human?

– “Why aren’t you in it?”
– “Why should I be in it?”
– “Everybody else is.”
– “And where are they going?”
– “To success. Happiness. Peace.”
– “Has anyone actually reached there?”
– “Don’t know.”
– “I repeat. Why should I be in it?”
– “There must be a reason why all are in it.
It’s not possible that everybody is stupid.”
– “Oh, it’s easily possible.”
– “Why?”
– “Everybody thinks the same.
Everybody is in.
So there must be a reason.”
– “So the crowd is always wrong?”
– “Not necessary.
Could be wrong. Could be right.
Being in, our view will be narrow.
We’ll never know.
But if the goal is to get
success, happiness, peace,
then let’s stay true to the goal.
Joining the crowd is an unverified path to it.
Let’s not mistake a path for the goal.
The goal is to be somebody;
and not to be everybody.”

Goal. Belief. And Choice of Response.

– “I’ll be successful.”
– “What makes you think so?”
– “It makes perfect sense. It’s so me!
I should so totally have what I want.
Isn’t it the belief in your goal
that gets you there?”
– “It gets you there if you WALK on its path.
It doesn’t CARRY you there on its back.”
– “Meaning?”
– “You can love your goal as much as you want.
Convince yourself it matches with you.
But the very fact that you aren’t there yet,
proves that you aren’t a match with it.
Not yet.
Each one of us is like a radio.
Life-situations are like radio stations.
They have their own frequencies.
They play in life, only when we tune to them.
What’s happening to you right now is
the result of who you are at present.
If it isn’t what you want to happen,
then you aren’t who you need to be.”
– “So I’m responsible for what happens to me.
Now and ever. But how?”
– “Life offers us events. People. Chances.
Initially, it’s just an offer.
How we reply to it defines how it turns out.
Personality is that reply. And a reply can be
a REACTION or a RESPONSE.
If you haven’t won, then the reply so far must
have been REACTION.
As per scripted patterns.
Familiar patterns. Habitual patterns.
They don’t build you into something new.
They just preserve and fortify the old you.
That’s how Nature programmed us.
We’re inclined to keep what’s familiar.
You think what you always think about things.
You say how you always say things.
You do how you always do things.”
– “Yes. I agree. How do I change into a winner?”
– “Wining is when the reply is RESPONSE.
Not to preserve who you are by habit;
but to build who you wish to be.
Not as per what the situation urges you to do;
But as per what your goal needs you to do.
That consciousness about that difference,
that mindfulness about those habitual urges,
and that alertness of choosing the new you,
is how you take that WALK toward the goal.
Success is about building
that tune, that sync, that match, that eligibility
with your goal. It’s no make-believe crap.”

Flight Of The Winners!

– “I seek your guidance.”
– “Why me?”
– “You’ve won in life. And I want to.”
– “What’s the challenge?”
– “Fear. I’m afraid of failure.”
– “Know the thing with negativity?”
– “What is it?”
– “It’s born out of misunderstanding.”
– “Then help me understand.
What empowers you to risk it?”
– “You see those kites up there?”
– “Yes. They’re at a great altitude.
Same as you. Aren’t they afraid of falling?”
– “What if they fall?”
– “From this height? They’ll die.”
– “Is there any significant height in life,
a fall from which won’t result
in death or handicap for them?”
– “No. Not really. But that’s my point.
How do you fly so high, even when
you know the volume of risks in it?”
– “You see them. But you don’t observe them.”
– “What am I missing?”
– “Are they flapping their wings?”
– “No… they’re just… soaring.
Quite relaxed, actually. I guess
it’s the thermal currents up there, huh?”
– “Yes. Currents that help. Currents that
stare at gravity square in the eye;
and let it know it isn’t the only master here.
Currents that let you soar in a relaxed way.
And they’re only up there. The kites know it.
They know the profit in it.
They know that the effort of a flight
is only until you reach that height.
Like a rocket that burns crazy only until
it exits the atmosphere.
Once the satellite is placed in its orbit,
the same gravity that’d have crashed it
begins to respect it and lets it soar
geosynchronous. Now it’s a partner, you see.
That’s what an ascent works out for you.
A change in parameters that affect you.
And that’s the understanding that
beats negativity and helps courage.
Sure the kites and the satellite still need
effort and alertness.
But now they’re in command of their lives.
Now they call the shots in much
significant ways. And that’s the point.
That’s what winners chase.”

Be There, Where I Fell In Love With You

– “Why? How can you agree to it?”
– “It’s OK. I don’t need it.”
– “Most people do.”
– “Sure. But I don’t.”
– “But you desire it.”
– “Of course I do.
I love you.
I’d want you to be there for me.
But I accept if you can’t.
It’s not in my control.
So I don’t let desires turn to needs.
I’m there for myself.
Taught myself that long ago.
It’s in my control.
And that’s enough.
I don’t preach others to live like me.
It’s just a strength I maintain. For I can.
I just have one request.”
– “Yes?”
– “Remain what I fell in love with.
Stay true to yourself.”
– “People change. What if I do too?”
– “Sure people change.
But it can be subtraction or evolution.
I’m there for you, for your evolution.
Even I you can’t be there for mine.
But I need that trueness of yours
to be there.
As a constant I can relate with.
As an anchor I can root my love to.
For that’s what love needs to stay alive.
A centre that doesn’t shift.
And I don’t wish to guilt-trap you into it.
I don’t want it as compensation from you,
not as a solace for not being there for me.
Be that, only if you want to.
Not as a limit you agree to suffer.
But as a discipline you accept to offer.
To yourself; not to me.
I’ll take care of reaching it.
Don’t worry about that either.
For it’s me who wants it.
And I want it only if you CHOOSE it.
Its presence in people makes me fall in love.
But it’s their choice to maintain it
that keeps me in love.
So. Before we go forward, tell me.
Question isn’t ‘Can you?’
Question is, ‘Do you want to?’”

Going Back? Or Coming Back…?

– “You were gone.”
– “I came back.”
– “Why?”
– “Something I left here.”
– “Something you lost?”
– “Something I let go.”
– “Why did you let it go?”
– “Thought I needed to. Thought I could.”
– “Did you?”
– “Yes. I could. Back then. But I-”
– “You couldn’t in the end; I know.
That’s why you’re back here.
My question is, did you really need
to let it go? As you thought, back then?”
– “…”
– “Was it a necessary sacrifice?”
– “That’s how I told myself to see it.”
– “Did it prove a useful sacrifice in the end?”
– “No. I turned out to be a bad chef.”
– “You cooked things tasteless?”
– “Oh, things have a taste.
But it’s all just…spices.
Excitement? Sure. Satisfaction? No.
Not at all.”
– “What were you searching for?
Which one made the sacrifice necessary?
Satisfaction or excitement?”
– “Achievement. And I have it. It’s just…”
– “Not the taste you were looking for?”
– “I realized finally I just don’t know what taste
I’ve been looking for.
I mean, I knew it all along.
I just chose to let people and their speeches
fool me into adopting their ways.
Adopting their goals. Their dreams.
Adopting roles they wanted me to play.
Changing my taste.
I guess I came back,
for I was done fooling myself. And then
I finally accepted what I always knew.”
– “And that was…?”
– “The reason I never knew
what I was looking for,
is that I never needed to search for it earlier.
I always had it here. With me.
I’m the idiot who sacrificed
what I already had,
and embarked on a fool’s errand to have it
as if for the first time.”
– “Do you think what you let go of here
still waits for you? Wants you?”
– “It used to. I don’t know, now.
I know it may not be here.
Or maybe it’s here but it has no need
to want me back. I accept it.
But I’ll never forgive myself,
if I don’t check. If I never try.
That’s why I came back.”
– “And this is your way of asking?”
– “You tell me.
You always knew me better than myself.
It’s just that, now I have the capacity
to appreciate that fully. I’m so, so sorry.
And I accept and respect if it’s not there now.
But… I hope it is. God! I hope it is. Is it?”

Intimacy V/S Vulnerability

– “I’m so shocked.”
– “Noted.”
– “I didn’t expect this from her.”
– “Unexpected is the whole point of shock.”
– “I shared such private issues with her.
And she spread it everywhere.
Now I’m a topic of ridicule and mockery.
How could she do this to me?”
– “It’s because it was possible for her do so.”
– “But I trusted her…”
– “Or did you assume you could trust her?”
– “Huh?”
– “Without checking if she deserved trust?
As it seems obvious by her action and
your subsequent shock at it?”
– “Are you blaming me? I’m the victim here.”
– “Which you’ll remain for the rest of your life,
if you don’t smarten up now.
I don’t bother with blames.
I simply awaken people to the math of reality.
Bad stuff happens.
We can ignore it. We can cry rivers over it.
Or we can analyze its causality.
So as to avoid it in future. Your call.”
– “Ahem… OK… I want to avoid it in future.”
– “Then use this incidence as study material.”
– “How?”
– “Part A. Focus on yourself.
You shared private details. Check why.
You thought it’s how we make friends?
Hoping vulnerability will help intimacy?
What’s the ruling belief system here?
Are we over-rating intimacy?
It’s sweet to have intimacy; sure.
But not by tossing personal safety in gamble.
And that’s Part B. Focus on the other person.
Check their ability to manage our information
with responsibility.
Because, my dear, ability can’t be assumed.
Let’s open our boundaries progressively.
Never suddenly. Never impulsively.
Observe how they respond to the process.
Is intimacy possible? Let’s work on it.
If we succeed at it, then we get vulnerable.
Is it not possible?
As it won’t be with everyone? Fine.
Then let’s keep it at need-to-know basis.”
– “Oh. Yes. This is new. But useful.”
– “We don’t start with vulnerability; we end at it.
As a result of alert, mindful, controlled
sync with people. It’s an earning.
Survival 101. Feels tactical. Dry, maybe.
But beats getting ugly shocks.
It’s best when things are earned;
not assumed.
Don’t fall into ideas. Let them be a choice.”

© Counselor Apoorva
Psychologist
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Common Sense: Don’t Sell It For Free.

– “They call you the trouble-shooter.”
– “So I heard.”
– “They say you’re really good at it.”
– “So I heard.”
– “What’s your secret?”
– “What do you think it is?”
– “It must take genius of a great level.”
– “Do you have a trouble?”
– “No; but I’m a collector of knowledge.
Not knowing your secret troubles me.”
– “Knowledge comes with a price.”
– “Here’s a blind cheque. Write your own price.
And when you’re done playing smart, tell me.”
– “Say, you have 8 coins and a weight balance.
One of the coins is fake; lighter than others.
Goal is to find it.
We can use the balance only twice.”
– “I’ll divide the coins in two sets. 4 and 4.
First use of balance tells me
which set is lighter.
I’ll divide that set further in two sets. 2 and 2.
Second use of balance tells me
which set is lighter.
But wait…
That still doesn’t show me that exact coin.
I’ve used up my tries at balance. Damn…”
– “How about dividing those 8 coins in 3 sets?
3 coins and 3 coins and 2 coins?
And how about, first, we weigh 3 versus 3?”
– “I they weigh same,
the counterfeit coin must be
in the set of 2 coins.
Weigh those 2 coins in
second attempt of balance;
we get our answer.
But what if the two sets of 3 weigh different?”
– “Easy.
Take the lighter one of those two sets of 3.
For the second attempt,
balance any 2 coins in that set.
If they weigh different, we get our answer.
If they weigh equal,
the remaining coin is fake. We’re done.”
– “Wow! That was actually easy.
And that’s the secret, huh?
You think differently…”
– “I apply common sense.”
– “No, this feels genius; not common sense.”
– “Of course; but if it was me,
I wouldn’t use the balance at all.
I’ll just toss the coins in water one by one.
Observe which one sinks slower.”
– “But that’s cheating.
You must use the balance…”
– “I never said you MUST. You assumed it.
I just said you CAN use the balance.
Wasn’t compulsory.
That’s why most people find no solutions.
They stick to ideas they’ve been told.
They fail to realize that those ideas have
silly limits.
And that’s the root of the problem itself.
Screw the balance;
the goal is to find the fake coin.
Common sense is simply in
staying true to the goal
rather than adhering to methods.
People fail and they think it needs a genius.
That’s how a fellow like me,
who’s just good at common sense,
gets sexy titles like Trouble-Shooter.”

Relation, Situation, Goals.

– “You don’t share much.”
– “I share what I need to.”
– “But it’s only to-the-point.”
– “It’s need-to-know basis.”
– “How do you define these boundaries?”
– “It’s simple.
I check my relation with a person.
I check the situation.
I check the goal of being with
that particular person, in
that particular situation.
I share information to serve that goal,
that relation, that situation.”
– “But it’s so clipped.
You never share anything personal.”
– “Those who have personal relations
with me will say differently.
Anyone outside that boundary has
no reason to know my personal life.
As I said; relation, situation, goal.”
– “But why limit to these constraints?”
– “It’s my choice. I find it beneficial.
I don’t preach others should do the same.
They’re free to make their own choices.”
– “What’s the benefit for you?”
– “People don’t stop at curiosity.
Once it’s fulfilled, they shift to judgment.
You call it human; but I’ve noticed
they have a very inhuman practice of
observing everyone and everything
out of their own templates
rejecting the natural truth that
people come in variety.
For most of them, it’s gossip material.
For others, it’s motivation to
unsolicited advice.
I for one feel no need to be someone’s
entertainment or playmate for their games.”
– “But your approach doesn’t stop the gossip.
Don’t you think you actually encourage it
in the first place, dear?”
– “For those with no goals, gossip and games
are the only way to fill up the void.
But that’s OK.
When I play no games with others,
I don’t play a double-game with myself either.
When I declare my personal life is
none of their business, I also know that
what they think of it is none of my business.”

Growth: Size V/S Value

– “Teacher, I have a question.”
– “Yes, my Child?”
– “I keep winning competitions.
And yet, I feel unfulfilled.
Satisfaction and happiness still elude me.
Why? Am I doomed to remain sad,
irrespective of my victories?”
– “My friend, you assume a correlation
between winning and happiness.
You’re wrong if winning limits for you
only to defeating opponents.”
– “Why?”
– “You win the current competition;
you get a placement in another.
You always encounter someone
stronger, faster, smarter than you.
Profiteers of the world will always preach you
to seek glory in growing strength and speed.
They’re the ones arranging all competitions;
and your toils profit them immensely.
It’s a pity if you adopt their agenda and
spend entire life in size expansion.
Your true self remains neglected;
why’d you be happy?”
– “I understand. But you’re also the one who
asks me to focus on growth. Why,
if it isn’t to beat opponents?”
– “Oh, my young friend!
Growth isn’t in beating others’ strengths.
Growth is in beating your own weaknesses.
Growth isn’t in expansion of size.
Growth is in addition to value.
Growth isn’t in erasing others’ future.
Growth is in winning over your own past.
A block of coal is big. Taken for granted.
A diamond is small. Precious and respected.
Both are made of carbon atoms.
Difference is in
how those atoms arrange themselves.
Profiteers will preach you to seek glory
in being a block of coal.
Of course, they want to enjoy diamonds.
Don’t be fooled.
It’s perfectly alright to be small.
Focus on being finely tuned; finely structured;
better composed; thoughtfully arranged.
True happiness is in that self evolution.
It’s so exhilarating when
we can what we couldn’t.
And don’t worry about employments.
Remember, people bargain with coal.
Diamonds get whatever price they ask.”

Weakness: Excuse or Inspiration?

– “I have a goal.”
– “Good that you have one.”
– “But I have a certain weakness.”
– “Good that you know that one.”
– “That’s why I can’t meet my goal.”
– “Of course you can’t.
Question is, what do you do about it?”
– “Is it strictly necessary to work on it?
I mean, can’t I just… carry on like this?”
– “Oh, sure! Growth is a desire; not a need.
You can remain weak.
You can also continue your current scheme.
Say you have a goal;
then say it’s unreachable;
blame it on the weakness;
and hope to God life will sympathize with you
rather than slap you. And get shocked!”
– “Slap me?”
– “Oh yes! Choices have price-tags, my friend!
You choose inaction; and
I’ll call you the poor-you if you want; but
life will call you lazy-you; and the price is
a tight slap to the face of your future.
Lesser opportunities; congested limits;
constraints; compromises; rejections.
If you can accept that, splendid! Go ahead!
And if you can’t, then
you get to feel sorry for yourself too!
And hey, nobody said it can’t be a reward!”
– “No… No, I don’t want that.
I want a better life.
But even if I stop using my weakness
as an excuse,
I can’t just ignore it; pretend it’s not there.
What about that?”
– “Sweetheart, winners don’t win by pretending
they have no weakness.
On the contrary, they accept and embrace it.
It’s not an obstacle in the path; it’s THE path.
Weakness gives you
the very direction you need.
Growth is nothing but a result of
you working on your weakness consistently.
If you think it’s a valid weakness; then
it’s surely a valid strength in your future,
awaiting your courtship. Go.”

Pain: Use It To Build The New You.

– “You were broken.”
– “I put myself back together.”
– “Will you ever forget what happened?”
– “No. But I found a better way to remember it.”
– “How did you overcome the pain?”
– “I used it.”
– “How can anyone use pain?”
– “What happened to me was data.
There were three components to it.
Who did it. Why did they do it. And how.”
– “Who did it?”
– “The kind I used to fail
to study, know, predict in past.”
– “Why did they do it?”
– “They had a mental weakness that perceived
elements in me as reason for insecurity;
and demanded violence upon me
to hide it from self.”
– “How did they do it?”
– “A weakness in me they could exploit.
Physical. Emotional. Intellectual.”
– “And what did you do with that data?”
– “I chose to learn out of it.
I put myself back together; but differently.
Like a broken bone that heals tougher.
Wiser. Stronger. Grown. Evolved.
I learned to be alert and observant. Watchful.
I learned to be ready, quick, in here and now.
And yes, I packed muscle. Of body and mind.”
– “Beautiful. May I ask one more question?”
– “Ask.”
– “You said you found a better way
to remember it.
How can anyone remember stuff like that
any better than what it actually was?”
– “It’s a choice to see memories as education
rather than merely an experience.
No, I don’t bullshit myself with silly ideas.
What happened to me will never be any
nicer than what it actually was.
But you gotta find a way to remember things
in better ways when you can’t forget them.
And I chose to let it inspire me for growth.
Rather than self pity and helpless defeat.
That’s what makes it better to remember.
Today, I’m a winner of life.
Today I can guaran-f**king-tee it that
it’ll never happen to me again.
And if anyone tries,
they’ll spend the rest of their days
shocked speechless
in a self-induced imprisonment.
Growth. I had it. Hell yeah.”

Meltdown!

– “People come close to me.
Then they drift away. Why?”
– “What they see at the beginning
isn’t the same as what they see later.”
– “Why does their approach shift?”
– “Because yours shifts.”
– “What do you mean?”
– “What’s your goal when you meet people
for the first time?”
– “I want to be friends with them.”
– “And what do you do to achieve that goal?”
– “I try to make them feel nice around me.”
– “The ‘Please Others’ drive! Yes!
Is that the goal of any relationship?
To make the OTHER person happy?
Or is it to create a mutual space where
BOTH of you can be happy?”
– “I guess… it’s the latter…”
– “Which is something you realize
later in the relation. Much later.
When you’re tired of whatever role
you adopted for their convenience.
When you make the great discovery
that you’re denying
your own needs and wants.
When it dawns on you that you’re failing in
that ‘higher goal’ of
keeping them happy as well.
When you learn it’s not your job at all.
When you figure out happiness is a choice
they have to make for themselves.
When you try to let go of that role.
When it’s too late!
For now they’re used to the idea of
taking you for granted.
Now when your shift to your originality
feels like a shocking rebellion to them.
That’s why they drift away. Usually after
blaming you for your ‘arrogance’.
– “But I can’t be reckless right from beginning.
I need people. For a variety of reasons.”
– “Sweetheart, who told you that being yourself
is same as being reckless?
Being yourself means being real. Practical.
Balanced. Logical. Reasonable. Rational.
Let them know you’re willing for
CONTRIBUTION, and not SACRIFICE,
for the relation. Right from the get-go.
After all,
only those souls who can respect that,
are useful for any relation, in any sense.
And you need only such real people in life.”

Relationship: Keep It Simple.

– “What is love?”
– “Love is desire.”
– “What is relationship?”
– “Relationship is when love is a choice.”
– “Choice?”
– “Choice of giving love.
Choice of accepting love.
Choice of joining strengths.
And helping in conquering weaknesses.”
– “Is it easy?”
– “Sure it is.
Be yourself. Let partners be themselves.
Be there for each other.
Help where you can. And when you can’t,
let there be emotional support.
With words. And touch.
Make space where goals can be achieved.
Suggest inputs if you feel so. And move on.
Give them space to make their own choices.”
– “Then why is it so difficult for many people?”
– “It’s made difficult by choice.
Most of us believe being yourself means
being childish. Impulsive. Careless.
Many choose to believe relationship
facilitates that.
We ask for emotional support. Do we give it?
Many claim they’re helping their partners
in their careers. But how?
Preaching corporate philosophies?
Preaching capitalist notions?
Where payment figures are rated more than
personal satisfaction and happiness?
Do we realize that everyone is entitled to
their own idea of growth and it’s totally OK?
How many of us respect it when
our partner’s idea of success differs to us?
Parents and schools and society program us
into believing that passing judgment and
criticism are building blocks of personality.
That’s what kills a relation.
Evaluations. Derision. Mockery. Taunts.
Sure, some of their qualities may annoy us.
But we could’ve taken our time
to check our compatibility with that person
before we declared it a relationship.
We didn’t.
We rated dimpled smiles and dressing styles
over nature, thoughts, approach, attitude.
It’s more important to know
if they get abusive when they get angry
and break the TV,
rather than what diplomas they have.
All of that ignorance is by choice.”
– “What’s the remedy?”
– “Stay conscious that love is the priority.
of a relationship. Don’t turn it into
a school, a courtroom, a business, a prison.
Help what you can. Accept what you can’t.
You want happiness? Choose actions in kind.”

{Wish you a strong life.
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Asking For Approvals: Let It Go…

– “I want growth. Happiness. Peace.
I know what I need to do for it.
But certain people don’t approve of it.”
– “Is there violence in the actions you need?”
– “Not at all. There’s only advance.”
– “Is there rationale in their opposition?”
– “Not at all. There’s only suppression.”
– “That proves they lack the ability for reason.
Which begs a question.
Why do you think you need their approval?”
– “I love them.
If I don’t win their approval, I’ll lose them.”
– “You’ll lose them even if you win it.”
– “What? Why? How?”
– “They wish you to edit your personality
to their specifications.
To play a role that isn’t you.
Have you watched stage-dramas?
They go on for 3 hours. Not years.
You can play a role for 3 hours. Not life-long.
Eventually, there’ll be cracks in the façade.
For people won’t appreciate your effort.
But they’ll be sure to point out flaws in it.”
– “Oh.”
– “You’ll think you’ve lost your originality.
We never lose it. It’s energy. Can’t destroy it.
It’ll be there. Imprisoned within.
Denied. Abused. Angry.
Plotting and scheming.
It’ll branch out into those cracks. Widen them.
And one day, you’ll have a meltdown.
It’ll come out in a grotesque form.
Burn all of them along with you.
Guess who they’ll blame for the burns!”
– “But my love for them equals
my desire for personal happiness.”
– “Great that it’s equal. One is cost for another.
Wisdom is to make the unreasonable one in it
into the expendable.
Love is unconditional. You love them;
but do they love you back? Really?
Or do they love the ‘role’ more than you; and
you’re just a replaceable actor to play it?
Think. Make choices smartly.
Not sentimentally.
Happiness is a choice.
When we let it depend on others,
we guarantee we’ll never have it.
They’ve made that mistake by
depending their happiness
on your submission.
Are you going to copy their mistake by
depending yours on their approval?”

Four Elements Of A Great Life

– “I want a great life.”
– “Be eligible for it.”
– “How?”
– “Be mindful of four qualities.”
– “What’s the first?”
– “Integrity.
Know who you are. Stay true to it.”
– “Why integrity?”
– “Lions and eagles. Both leap.
Lions come back to ground.
Eagles stay airborne.
If lions try to be eagles, they won’t just fail.
They’ll crash. Tragic and unnecessary.
Lions don’t need to fly.
Better be good at who you are
rather than at what others are.”
– “What’s the second quality?”
– “Sincerity.
Apply yourself. Stay applied.”
– “Why sincerity?”
– “A lion remains a lion all the time.
To be best at being yourself
is to be consistent at being good at it.”
– “What’s the third quality?”
– “Loyalty.
Stay loyal to who and what you hold dear.”
– “Why loyalty?”
– “Who and what you hold dear, are
your earnings of your journey so far.
Disloyalty isn’t just a pain for them.
It’s ultimate stupidity of you, to
reject your own hard-earned rewards.
Don’t be stupid.”
– “And what’s the fourth quality?”
– “Maturity.
Think, before you speak and act.”
– “Why maturity?”
– “Life will test if you can retain your eligibility
for its greater planes.
Silly speech and rash actions
destroy in seconds
what you spent years to build.
Losers get carried away.
Winners mould it their way.
Stay alert. You’re in charge here.”

Strengths: We Don’t Have Them. We BUILD Them.

– “Congratulations. You won!”
– “Thank you.”
– “How did you know this was your goal?”
– “I explored what resonated with me.
This one did.”
– “But what about strengths?
How did you know you had what it takes?”
– “I didn’t have what it takes.
I just had what it takes to build what it takes.
Like we all do.”
– “And what’s that?”
– “The will for choice. To observe. To study.
To adapt. To try. To grow. To evolve strength.”
– “So you had no strength to begin with?”
– “Of course I didn’t.
Same as I had no strength to run
when I was a toddler.
That didn’t stop me from trying.
I had a go at it gradually.
I crawled. I tried standing up.
I shifted to walking. Eventually I was running.
We don’t have strengths right from the get-go.
We build them on the way.
Consistently. Persistently.
Adding one win into the other.
And I think that’s the essence of all the fun.
That surreal pleasure of changing into
someone compatible with final success.
It’s the journey that makes stories more than
the destination.
Just choose a journey that calls to you.
And you’re gold!”

Heroes Apply, Only What Villains Teach.

– “Teacher,
our Ace is showing off his politeness.”
– “By expressing humility to the opponent?
The one he defeated in competition?”
– “It’s one thing to be polite to those he beat;
but we all know that other kid was such evil.
Why give importance to such a wicked soul?”
– “Oh, you misread, my Child.
Our Ace is noble, not to the person; but
to the learning received from that person.”
– “What could he possibly learn from
that monster?”
– “Plenty!
Good souls educate us first; examine later.
Evil minds examine us first; and leave us
to see education out of it.
If we can. If we choose.
This competition was a mirror for life itself.
We saw strangers turn allies
with bonds stronger than blood.
And we saw clan-mates turn greatest foes.
We saw deceit. Betrayal. Cheating.
We saw strategies and tactics;
most intelligent and most cunning. Surreal!
It was no easy victory for our Ace.
That monster began as his ally.
Shifted to his worst tormentor.
Ace was tricked. Beaten. Starved. Left to die.
He was in pain; in body and mind.
He chose to learn out of it.
Know where he made mistakes.
He absorbed what to look for.
How to read truth out of appearances.
Observe. Notice. Know, before you trust.
That monster taught him
never to take anything for granted.
Never let ideas slide into rigid beliefs.
Reality keeps shifting.
Survival asks for constant change.
Physical and mental adaptation.
And most importantly, be independent.
Be your own provision.
Especially when people fail in their promises.
Because they will. Most of them will.
And always, always have plan B.
He learned it all and he used it all.
When he finally won, it was a result of
who he had become.
No hero taught him that. A villain did.
That’s what he was humble about.
The surreal nature of his evolution.”

Positive Thinking: “Action. Not Just Imagination.”

– “Why positive thinking didn’t work for me?”
– “You failed to work on it.”
– “But I kept thinking positively.”
– “No; you kept day-dreaming.
You created a mental space.
You put all you wanted into that space.
You imagined you had it all; you felt happy.
You thought that was all there’s to it.
Then reality slapped you hard.”
– “I lost motivation.”
– “Of course you did.
That positivity was fuel.
You used it up mentally. Burned it out.
Like a car turning gas to smoke in idle.
When reality hit you, you were empty.”
– “So positive thinking is a false idea?”
– “Not at all. It’s half of a whole.
The other half is action.
You need motivation to keep going.
Vision isn’t going to sustain all of it.
It’s just at the beginning;
a kick-start to action; not just imagination.
Later on, it’ll be the results.
Little objectives, to be achieved daily.
Little gains, adding up into the big one.
Those results are hard facts. Real.
Undeniable.
They tell you that you’re moving forward.
And that’s your real motivation.
That’s what puts a real smile on your face.
It’s everywhere. Fitness. Money. Relations.
We make our own fuel, my friend.
Create positivity not just mentally;
but actively too.”

Dealing With Fake Disorder

– “What is disorder?”
– “Order, arranged differently.”
– “Why there’s a different order?”
– “For there’s a different pay-off.”
– “Examples of a different order?”
– “A learned handicap. Physical. Mental.
Any indiscipline. Personal. Social. Global.
Any corruption. Cultural. Governmental.”
– “What’s the pay-off of such disorders?”
– “Escapism and camouflage.”
– “How so?”
– “People hate changing into adults.
Adulthood comes with responsibilities.
People prefer the familiarity of
who they’ve always been since childhood.
So they escape adulthood and
try to remain childish.
But of course that comes with a price.
Ridicule and rejection. They wish to avoid it.
So they camouflage it with victim roles
which help justify that incapability
for adulthood.
Learned handicap helps you get sympathy.
You can blame capable people for
not making provisions for the weak-you.
Indiscipline helps you play rebels.
You can sell it as rebellion against
merciless laws,
which place limits on the youthful-you.
Corruption helps you glorify it all.
You can claim it’s how you fight the rich
who’ve oppressed the poor-you.”
– “True. It’s a drama. How to defeat it?”
– “Dramas need sympathetic audience.
That’s the ultimate pay-off of it all.
Fools who’ll believe you have a ‘right’
to be disordered.
Fools who’ll agree to play the parent for you.
Cut it. It’s a choice to be that fool.
Stop choosing it. Stop caving in.
Growth is solely one’s own responsibility.
Sure it may need assistance; but only when
the initiative to grow is one’s own.
Growth happens,
when alternatives are canceled.
Growth is a choice. Let it be the only one.”

{Wish you a strong life.
Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}

Idiot !

– “Sometimes I feel I’m an idiot.”
– “It’s great.”
– “It’s great that I’m an idiot?”
– “It’s great that sometimes you feel so.”
– “Why’s it great?”
– “Most idiots think they’re smart all the time.
You don’t. It separates you from other idiots.
It’s data for you to use for self growth.”
– “And how exactly am I supposed to use it?”
– “Let’s see. You feel you’re an idiot some times.
Not all the time.”
– “An idiot like me wouldn’t know it all the time.
Maybe knowing it is when I have occasional
glitches in my natural program
of being an idiot.
Maybe I occasionally get smart,
if only to know I’m such an idiot.”
– “That’d be true only if
you were absolutely dull in everything.
But such isn’t the case.
You know there are departments in your life
where you really shine.”
– “Yes. That’s also true.”
– “Nobody is a total idiot.
It’s just that some of us, in some cases,
choose to be intellectually lazy.
Of course it’s an unconscious choice
consciously left unconscious.
Like all those choices we make
to save ourselves the trouble.”
– “What trouble?”
– “The trouble of processing reality as it is.
Observing it. Studying it. Knowing it.
Calculating a response to it.
Being cautious and alert for all of it.
Being present for it. Here and now.
It takes vigilance. Effort. Something we hate.
Something we tend to avoid.
So we play a game. We choose to be stupid.
Make silly choices that’ll result in failure.
Which helps us justify staying away from it.
Stupidity is a defense mechanism.”
– “So how not to be stupid?”
– “Face situations without a rush to react.
Life is in saying yes to be mindful.
Apply yourself. Observe. Know. Adapt.
Respond.
Smartness is a choice. Make it.”

Mindfulness, Simplified.

– “What’s mindfulness?”
– “It’s living in here and now.”
– “We all live in here and now.”
– “Physically, yes. Mindfulness is a choice,
to live in present mentally too.”
– “Why is it a challenge?”
– “Emotion.
Present events elicit emotions.
Present becomes past instantly.
But we carry that emotion forward;
thinking about that past. Living in that past.
If that feeling is negative,
we have an unconscious compulsion
to fight it.
We end up carrying it rather than defeating it.
That’s how we lose our sync with
the present.”
– “So mindfulness is rejection of emotion?”
– “Not at all. That’d be mindlessness.
Mindfulness is like having a meal.
Sometimes there’s a crystal of salt
in a morsel.
We don’t pretend it isn’t there. We accept it.
But we don’t keep munching on it either.
We swallow it;
we move on to the next morsel.
We stay attentive to the current morsel
at any given time.
That attentiveness is mindfulness.”
– “Oh.”
– “We engage into the present.
We experience it fully.
We note its emotional impact on us.
We neither reject nor lock with it.
We accept it as it is. And then we move on.”
– “How to manage it?”
– “Have a basic understanding.
That compulsion to carry feelings?
It’s a learned thing.
Born out of a misconception.
We BELIEVE we need to. It’s a false belief.
Who said we need to? We don’t.
Stop over-rating things.
Everything is a part of life. Even negativity.
And that’s why, it’s never too important.
See it as your sport to be
the one who can manage that.
And you’re gold!”

© Apoorva
Counselor & Psychologist
{Wish you a strong life.
Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#LifeLessons #SelfAwareness #SelfDevelopment #SelfEmpowerment #KnowYourself #SocialAwareness #SelfHelp #Mindfulness #Thoughtfulness #BeMindful #MindfulLiving #Thinking #Feelings #Emotions #EmotionalManagement #ThoughtProcess #BeliefSystem #ThinkSmart #ThinkDifferent #Introspection #MindPower #StrongMind #PersonalGrowth #Maturity #SelfTalk #SelfDialogue #CommunicationSkills #Psychology #SocialPsychology #Counseling

Choosing Teachers…

– “Who is your teacher?”
– “One who can be.”
– “How do you decide it?
Do you find one who knows it all?”
– “Not at all. For nobody knows it all.
I find those who dare to accept it.”
– “Interesting that you seek guidance
from those who don’t know.”
– “Ignorance isn’t my only criteria for teachers.
I further check what they do with it.”
– “And what do they do with it?”
– “They have two choices.
Remain ignorant.
Or use it as inspiration to gain knowledge.
I pay attention to the latter cases, of course.”
– “But why not just ask those
who already know?”
– “They already know. Which means,
they know outdated things.
I want fresh knowledge. Applicable today.
It’s gained by experience. Earned today.
Putting information to implementation.
Checking results and introspecting for errors.
My kind of teachers do that.
I accompany them. I learn invaluable things.
You want knowledge?
Don’t just listen to teachers.
Be with them in their quest for knowing.
Be a company to them when
knowing is presently happening.
You’ll enjoy
a whole different flavor of learning.”

Awareness Checks

– “Name one thing I’d ever need.”
– “Awareness.”
– “It’s too vast a concept.”
– “Not at all. It’s a precise concept.”
– “How so?”
– “Just remember four things.

One. Life is Here and Now.
For life is in action.
And you can act only at present.
Not in past. Not in future.
Past doesn’t define you; future isn’t here yet.
Only time you’ll ever have, is now.
Be who you wish to be, now. Act, now.

Two. You have choices.
You always have choices.
You can choose to let things have their way.
Or you can choose to have things your way.
Think goals. Speak for goals. Act for goals.
Be conscious. You’re in control here.

Three. Stay true to self.
You’ll notice losers and winners.
Copy neither. You’re none of them.
They had their stories. You’re in your story.
Have your colors in it. Your plot. Your twists.
You know who you are. Deep down.
Stay true to that truth. Always.

And four. Respond. Don’t react.
Life is a game.
Between present situation and you.
Or sometimes it’s a war.
In either case, goal is to win.
And we don’t win by fighting on fronts opened
by our opponents. They want us to.
No; we open our own fronts.
Unpredictable. Unexpected.
Never live as per scripts.
Your win lies in that tiny space, where
you refuse the appeal of an urge to react; but
use it instead as fuel to observe; learn; adapt;
and respond as per your goals.

You manage that, my friend; and you’re gold.”

Mindfulness, Continued

– “But how can there be no breaks?
Is it really in our control?
Isn’t it natural to lose that tempo
once in a while?
We aren’t robots.
I find it irrational to demand
one should be mindful all the time.”
– “You’re absolutely right.
We’re no robots. We’re humans.
It’s natural to get distracted.
It’s natural to loop back to old patterns.
It’s natural to lose it.
Question is, what do we do AFTER we lose it?
Do we use it as a convenient excuse
to lose it for good?
Do we let it carry us on the flow
back to familiarity of mindlessness?
Yes; failure is natural;
but do we realize that it’s artificial
to let its naturalness overwhelm us?
Or do we choose to get back on our feet;
and get back on track?
Do we choose to reboot? Restart?
Do we choose not to see our lapse
as any excuse?
Do we realize that either way is a choice?
Do we realize that mindfulness is really about
knowing and accepting when we’re mindless
and choosing to be mindful about it?
Yes, that re-try is how we maintain that
continuum of mindful living.
It’s that repeated try after repeated failure
that builds a win for us.”

Bearing Our Victories

– “I heard pride collapses victories.”
– “You heard right.”
– “What’s the mechanism here?”
– “You see that tree?”
– “Yes. It’s full of fruits.”
– “And yet, it’s still standing. Know why?”
– “Simple. It may be full of fruits;
but that load is still short
compared to the mass of its stem.”
– “So what? I’ve seen heavy weights
stacked upon light ones in the gym.
The light weights don’t get crushed.”
– “So… guess it’s not the mass of the stem.
It’s about its strength.”
– “Achievement is fruition.
Effort is the mass of the stem.
Humility is the strength in that stem.
If the person is smart, then
the achievements will outweigh the effort.
Output will outweigh the input.
Fruits will outweigh the stem.
Whether the stem still stands,
depends on the strength of humility in it.
If it gives way to pride, then know one thing.
Pride leaves the earth. It scales up the stem;
makes a home in the branches.
Now there’s double load.
Absent strength, the stem collapses.
And winners turn into losers.
Humility isn’t a favor to the world.
It’s the ether that sustains our wins.”

Good Thoughts; Stupid Actions; Silly Speech

– “How do good thoughts die?”
– “Stupid actions kill them.”
– “How do good deeds die?”
– “Silly speech kills them.”
– “What’s the reason?”
– “Lack of awareness.
There’s a thread that connects all three.
Thought. Action. Speech.
Same as a thread that connects
buds to flowers; flowers to fruits.
A thought is a bud. It’s a possibility.
An action dictates its actualization.
An action decides if it’ll flourish.
It’s a delicate, gradual, methodic process.
Petals open up step by step.
Ignorant actions force those petals;
defile the bud.
That’s how good thoughts die.”
– “Noted. And what of a good action?”
– “Constructive actions let the bud flourish.
But the flower itself is equally delicate.
Many mistake it for solidity of a rock.
Many think they can afford to be careless;
now that they’ve finished necessary actions.
But that’s exactly where
one has no such luxury.
Flowers need care and time to fruition.
Actions need care and time to show results.
Humility is paramount here, when
exhilaration of finished action
appeals to arrogance and boasts.
For it’s humility that lets
the stem of the flower grow strong enough
to sustain the load of the fruit.
That awareness separates
winners from losers.”

Image credits: Jono Dry (Pencil Sketch Artist){Wish you a strong life.
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Critics V/S Teachers

– “Do you ever take your critics seriously?”
– “I’d like to. Haven’t got that chance yet.”
– “Critics reveal our weak points.
A winner should welcome that.”
– “Absolutely. But my critics don’t do that.”
– “What are you talking about?
They tell you where you’re weak all the time.”
– “A correction.
They tell me where THEY THINK I’m weak.”
– “And you invalidate that? Why?”
– “I had some checks.
They haven’t walked my path.
They were never in my shoes.
They never aspired for the same goal as me.
They never took any efforts toward it.
In fact, they have no idea what my goal is.
They’re observers; not creators.
They mistake too much observation for
ability of evaluation.
Sure observation might enable them for it;
but that’s only if observation is versatile and
made from a variety of angles.
They’ve stuck to their window of observation.
Seen from that window, it’s easy to mistake
strengths for weaknesses.
They’re toads in a pond criticizing a tortoise
for not rejecting its shell.
They think it’ll give the tortoise speed.
They fail to see, that
the tortoise is well-nourished;
the tortoise has lived a long life; whereas
the toad’s own brethren falls prey to
predators all the time.
They also fail to see that the tortoise’s goal
is survival rather than speed.
Who really needs humility here?
Yes, I accept I’m not perfect.
Yes, I want to respect my critics.
Yes, I want to be humble to their criticism.
But before that, I’ll check who they are.
It’s noble to see a teacher in everyone.
But check if you really have that luxury.
When I see souls whose goals are
same as me;
and whose results outshine mine,
I’ll ask for their opinions myself.
Meanwhile,
I’ll let my own experience educate me.”

© Counselor Apoorva
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Voicing Out Opinions: Expression Or Obsession?

– “I wasn’t wrong.”
– “Noted.”
– “You agree?”
– “I agree you think you weren’t wrong.”
– “But do you agree I wasn’t wrong?”
– “Do you need me to agree?”
– “I was attacked by everyone for my opinion.
I could use some moral support.”
– “Are you sure it was an opinion?”
– “Look, I know what I saw.
I said what I said only when I saw it.”
– “You saw; but did you look?”
– “What do you mean?”
– “A window shows us the sky.
A rectangular window shows us
a rectangular portion of that sky.
Does that mean the sky is rectangular?”
– “No… But what I saw-”
– “Had a window of your perception to it.
It was ‘A’ view; and you had ‘A’ viewpoint.
You didn’t bother to check beyond
the boundaries of that window.
People got irritated, for you pressed
YOUR limits of YOUR view over reality.
That was your first mistake.
The demand to declare.”
– “OK. Did I make many other mistakes?”
– “Just one. The very rush for judgment.
What you saw felt absurd to you.
But was it necessary to voice it out?
Always? Everywhere? Every time?
Sure we have freedom of speech; but
are we slave to the compulsion of using it?
Sure, expression is a human desire; but
are we turning it into an obsession, a need?
Do we check the consequences
of our speech?
Is there a constructive output out of it?
Or there isn’t any and that’s why we do it?
Do we like that we can hurt others?
Makes us feel powerful?
Are we perfect?
Always-everywhere-every time?
Know one thing. What feels perfect to you,
may not be a necessity for everyone.
Don’t worry about evaluating the world.
Focus on yourself. Your flaws are there.
You can use your criticism much better there.”

You Need You.

– “Why do most people fail?”
– “It’s because they try to win.”
– “One shouldn’t try to win?”
– “Of course one should. Question is,
What do you try to win?
And how do you try to win?”
– “What do most people try to win?”
– “Most people don’t try TO win.
Most people try AT a win.”
– “What’s the difference?”
– “How do they say it?
‘I wish to be successful person’? Or
‘I wish to be A successful person’?”
– “I’ve heard it the second way, mostly.”
– “They have an image of A successful person.
It’s not an original idea.
It’s not an inspiration, despite of their say.
It’s a borrowed idea. They idolize that image.
The scholar kid or football champ in school.
A rich friend. Or a dynamic boss. Or a tycoon.
When people think they take efforts,
what they actually do is, they play a role.
They play out that character as per a script.
Of course they don’t have a full script.
So they use subconscious inputs,
received lifelong, to fill in the blanks.
They end up playing out
a collage of personas.
They play out a chaos; mistaking it for order.
Of course they lose.
And while they’re at it, they lose
the most fundamental ingredient of success:
Their originality.
Success is in being best at being yourself.
Success is in letting your potential express.
You use it; it grows. It generates gravity.
It attracts positivity that matches with it;
and it evolves. Sure it’s a transformation;
but not into someone else.
You transform into the best you.
To make it happen, you need you first.
There’s a little bit in you NOW that’s sweet.
You know it. Focus on it. Let it out. It’ll grow.
Does success make us happy?
Yes; when success is YOUR play
rather than a role-play.”

Mindful Living : Our Sentimental Rushes

– “I know it was a sentimental rush.”
– “Sure it was.”
– “I know it was what brought me failure.”
– “Sure it was.”
– “But it was only natural of me.”
– “Sure it was. Are you done?”
– “What do you mean?”
– “Do you want to stop here?
Or do you want to go forward?”
– “But it was only-”
– “Natural, yes; we covered that.
And if you stop there,
you’ll set yourself in a loop. Like now.
Reality will keep telling you, ‘You are a fool’.
You’ll keep defending yourself by
advocating for the naturalness of it.
Round and round you’ll go.
It’ll set a pattern.
A script you’ll follow repeatedly.
Or maybe one has been written already;
you’re in the loop even right now.
Do you always get sentimental at the
wrong time, wrong place?
Maybe as a reaction to the same triggers?”
– “Yes. I… can’t stop myself.”
– “You choose not to.
This failure has a familiarity to it.
Familiarity breeds identity.
Identities have a strong appeal.
They call us to re-register them
by making same dysfunctional choices.
End result is this failure.
If you hate it and want a better result,
then know this:
New identity is made by new choices.
Your sentimental rush is like a text from
an abusive ex. It says, ‘I miss you’.
You know if you cave in and agree to meet,
the bastard will only abuse you again.
Respond; don’t react to life.
Let your response suit your goal.
Yes, it’s difficult.
But practice makes everything easy.
Stay aware. Stay conscious.
You’re the one controlling this stuff.”

The Take-Off of Stupidity

– “You agreed with his opinion?”
– “No I didn’t.”
– “But you said nothing.”
– “No I didn’t.”
– “It was a stupid opinion.”
– “Yes it was.”
– “Then why didn’t you say anything?”
– “Because it was a harmless stupid opinion.
I saw no gun to my head.
I saw no intrusion into my personal space.
I saw no reason for defensive maneuver.”
– “But silence encourages such people.”
– “I saw your counter-argument
much better at that job than my silence.”
– “It was my retaliation.”
– “It was your attention. Seen as motivation.
Effort for invalidation itself is validation
for consideration.
And that’s all stupidity ever needs
to form itself out as mentation.”
– “So you kill stupid ideas by inattention?”
– “Gravity works on everything.
Things tossed in the air crash to the ground
if nobody catches them.
Stupidity is like an airplane.
Both lack their own potency for a flight.
A plane may be fully loaded with
the best aviation fuel;
but it takes off only using the resistance
of winds that oppose its flight.
Absent that air, it’ll never leave the ground.
Stupidity may be loaded with
worst misconceptions,
but it rises only by climbing atop
the resistance of logic, reason, rationale.
Absent those stairs, it’ll never rise up.
Be mindful of your role in its development.”

Don’t Wait For It. Build It.

– “I don’t always get what I want.”
– “It implies sometimes you do.”
– “Yes. But-”
– “And it gives you a mental block.”
– “What mental block?”
– “You think success is always a gift.
A surprise from life.
Or a reward, at best.
A payment from others for your effort.”
– “Am I wrong?”
– “Wrong? No. Programmed? Yes.
It begins from home.
Follow tradition; you get their love.
Then it’s your school. Stop playing and
memorize what happened back in 1498AD;
you get nice grades.
Then it’s everywhere.
Promotion at job?
Edit your daily life to boss’s specifications.
Rise in social circle?
Edit your attire to their cultural specifications.
Want relationship with someone?
Edit your views to their specifications.
We call it sacrifice. No pain no gain.
We think this math of subtraction of life
is same as addition of gains in that life.
We toss something out; make a gap;
and sure we get a few gains
to slot in that gap.
But of course there’s a limit to this approach.
There’s only so much one can subtract
out of oneself.”
– “Yes. That’s me. Left with nothing to subtract.
What are my options?”
– “Get real about success.
It’s never in subtractions out of you.
It’s in additions to the true you.
What you really want is happiness; and
you’ll never find it as a reward.
It’s always in letting your true self express.
So stop asking for rewards.
Start building things on your own.
Accept yourself. Explore yourself.
Give time to yourself.
Learn what you always wanted to do.
Build your skill-sets. Get really good at it.
Generate your own gravity.
Make people feel they should edit
their time to your specifications.
And yes, get hobbies. Develop interests.
Sing. Dance. Draw. Paint. Travel.
Be a bit selfish. It’s OK.
Be yourself. You need you.”

The Take-Off of Stupidity

Love V/S Happiness : Know Your Choices

– “I don’t understand where I fail.”
– “You can begin with a check.”
– “Which is?”
– “Why do you think it’s YOUR failure?”
– “For someone close to me isn’t happy.
Despite of my love, care, patience.
Which makes it my failure.”
– “And there we see the failure.”
– “What do you mean?”
– “Have you ever planted trees?”
– “I maintain a garden. I water it daily.”
– “What makes those plants grow?”
– “The water I let them have every day.”
– “Here. Toss this rock in a pond.
Let it have all the goddamn water.
Will it grow too?”
– “No.”
– “What makes it different than a plant?”
– “A plant has biological programs to grow.
A rock doesn’t.”
– “Fail. That’s not it.”
– “Then what is it?”
– “A plant makes a CHOICE.
To let those programs work.
To let the water work.
To let the love work.
A rock makes no such choice.”
– “Oh.”
– “And even among plants,
not all make that choice.
Some runts keep staring at you in misery.
Making you feel guilty.
You pour more water.
Thinking that’s what it needs.
The plant punishes you for it by rotting.”
– “Yes. I’ve noticed such plants.
It’s as if they want to play with me.”
– “Same as some people.
Get your mind straight.
That water, that love is your choice.
That growth, that happiness is their choice.
Those who wish relations, make that choice.
Those who want to play games, keep playing.
It’s your choice now,
to keep playing out expected scripts;
or to cut the crap and get real.
For now it’s about YOUR happiness.
And same as them, it’s YOUR choice.”

Winning: Dare To Face Derision

– “I wish to win.
I wish to act in ways necessary for it.
But there’s a problem.
Others laugh at my ways.”
– “I don’t hear a problem.”
– “I just told you. They laugh.”
– “Sure. But why’s that a problem to you?”
– “It hurts me. I wish it to stop.”
– “It’s easy. Do what they do.”
– “How’d that help?”
– “They laugh at you for you act differently.
Conform to their way; they’ll stop.”
– “But their ways don’t help a win.”
– “Oh, you didn’t think it’ll be free of cost,
did you?”
– “So… agreement to failure is
the cost of acceptance in a crowd?”
– “If the crowd is full of losers? Of course.
By definition.”
– “Fine. I get it. You enlightened me.
It’s one or the other.
I choose win over that acceptance.
But is there a way to be at peace with
that derision?”
– “It’ll be easy if you understand that laughter.”
– “What’s there to understand? It’s mockery.”
– “Sure looks like it. But that’s a camouflage.
In the guise of invalidation,
it’s a defense mechanism, actually.”
– “What do they defend?”
– “Their identity. Of belonging to the crowd.
The crowd is full of losers.
Your ways promise a win.
It threatens to inspire them for a win.
Which inspires leaving the crowd.
They rush to reject that inspiration.
Derision is the key to it.”
– “Why’d anyone preserve loser identity?”
– “Oh, they don’t care about losing or winning.
All they want is the shelter of a crowd.
All the crowd asks is conformity.
So one conforms.
To whatever trait makes up
the majority of the crowd.
For this crowd, it’s sticking to tradition.
Irrespective of its uselessness.
They’d have all walked naked
if that’s what the crowd asked.
Irrespective of feeling horribly cold.
You don’t care for their acceptance;
So why bother with their rejection?”

{Wish you a strong life.
Thank you, if shared.
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Mindful Living : Our Sentimental Rushes

Do You Believe in God? How?

– “Do you believe in God?”
– “I believe in positivity, creativity, love.
If that’s God, then sure, I’m in.”
– “Why don’t we ever see God?”
– “We see God all the time.
To know that’s God,
takes mindful vision beyond sight.
Most of us are waiting for a miracle;
or at least something supernatural
that defies logic, to call it God’s work.
Are we waiting for God or a ghost?
And then there are those who’re waiting for
something too big; like those saintly souls
who give their whole lives to help society.
Of course God is there in those souls;
But are we looking too far to miss
the little details ahead of us?
God is there in that youth
who lets the elderly take his place in a queue.
God is there in that industrialist who
remembered to bring food for his staff
on a difficult day at work.
God is there in basically every soul
who is living with discipline and order;
who is striving to reach goals
without hurting anybody else; every day.
Not because the constitution of their country
demands it.
But because, simply, they want to.
God is there, in
every answer to a call for help; and
every offer of help without waiting for a call.
We don’t know that’s God;
for we’re too busy in mocking and ridiculing
such souls and the love they give.
We see God,
when we’re ready to be that love.
Only then we’ll notice it in others.
We see God, when we’re ready to look
WITHIN.”

© Apoorva
Counselor & Psychologist{Wish you a strong life. Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#LifeLessons #SelfAwareness #SelfDevelopment #SelfEmpowerment #KnowYourself #SocialAwareness #SelfHelp #Mindfulness #Thoughtfulness #BeMindful #MindfulLiving #Thinking #Feelings #Emotions #EmotionalManagement #ThoughtProcess #BeliefSystem #ThinkSmart #ThinkDifferent #Introspection #MindPower #StrongMind #PersonalGrowth #Maturity #SelfTalk #SelfDialogue #CommunicationSkills #Psychology #SocialPsychology #Counseling

Usability V/S User

– “I need new a system.”
– “May I suggest a bit of introspection?
How did you arrive at that conclusion?”
– “Why is it necessary to introspect on that?”
– “What makes a system useful?”
– “The versatility in its use.”
– “And how do we know that versatility?”
– “We implement it and check results.”
– “How do we know ways to implement it?”
– “The results let us know.”
– “Results let us know about
the degree of OUR versatility;
not the system’s.
Results let us know about
the usability of OUR ways;
not the system’s.
A system answers to only what we ask of it.
A system can never tell us
the variety of questions we can ask to it.
We have to figure that part on our own.
That’s where actual versatility comes in.
It’s us, my friend. Not the system.
Usability depends on the user.”
– “So I need to check if I’ve exhausted
all ways to use previous system?”
– “I’d urge you to, yes.
Sure, a system may not have infinite uses.
Sure, you may actually need a new one.
But if you don’t step out of your limits,
Then you’ll force those same limits
on to any new system you bring in.
Results will be equally unsatisfactory.
Refine your tools, sure; but
improve the dexterity of your fingers first.”

© Apoorva | Life Empowerment
Counselor & Psychologist
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#SuccessQuotes #SuccessMantra #AttitudeQuotes #WinnerMentality #WinnerMindset #BillionaireThinking #MillionaireSaying #PersonalGrowth #LifeGoals #Ambition #Aspiration #InspirationalQuotes #MotivationalQuotes #LifeLessons #StruggleSpeaks #TakingEfforts #ResultsSpeak #Achievement #Accomplishment #Fulfillment #GoalOriented #Discipline #WorkEthics #PersonalCode #Commitment #Dedication #PositiveThinking #ThinkDifferent #ArtOfWinning #WordPorn

The Journey of Winning

The journey of winning- It begins with unconditional acceptance.
To reach somewhere is first to accept
that we aren’t there yet.
First, we accept ourselves as we are.
Along with our weaknesses. Deficiencies.
Our limits.
To overcome them, is to accept them first.- Then there’s faith. “I’m built for winning.”
A toddler has no idea how to climb stairs.
It doesn’t translate into “I can’t.”
It translates only into “I’ll try.”
Believe in nothing but ‘the try’.- Focus.
We have nothing better to do than winning.
Distraction is a choice. Appeals work,
only when we let them seduce us.
The only true appeal is in
rising above all appeals.
Power is when we choose rather than
getting seduced.- Information is absorption of data.
Knowledge is implementation of data.
Collect data and apply it.
True learning is in self experience.- Errors will be there.
They’re a part of the process.
Your faults aren’t outside. They’re within you.
Each failure is data for you about them.
Introspect the ingredients of success.
Your thoughts. Speech. Food. Behavior.
Refine it all.- Today’s achievement is
tomorrow’s investment.
Maintain the cycle.
Let the challenge suit your strengths.
Consistency and progressive overload.
We don’t reach success. We become it.

Money Goals 101: Money Is Time

– “I’ve seen two kinds of people.
People with money who aren’t happy.
People with little money who’re happy.
We earn money to connect with pleasures;
But does it take us away from happiness?”
– “There’s a third kind of people you missed.
People with money, and with happiness.”
– “I’ve never seen anyone like that.”
– “They’re rare.
As all people who live mindfully are.”
– “What’s their secret?”
– “Oh, it’s no secret.
It’s pure common sense, really.
They understand what’s money for real.
It doesn’t buy us happiness. But,
It buys us a full belly. Leaving us with time,
to do things that make us happy.
So money basically buys us time.
Our happiness depends on a simple question:
How do we make use of that time?”
– “Why’s that an important question?”
– “We have needs and desires.
Money takes care of our needs.
And after satisfying our needs,
we can create our happiness by
applying ourselves to life.
Sketch. Paint. Sing. Dance. Trek. Sport.
Or we can buy luxuries hoping for happiness.
Fast cars. Giant mansions. Diamonds.
There’s nothing right or wrong here.
Except, if we opt for the second option,
know that it asks us to invest more time
earning more money.
And since time is limited,
this extra time comes from the same slot
that remains after satisfying our needs.
And if it’s too much, we’re left with no time
to enjoy what we earned.
As happens to most people today.
Great chefs who have no time
to taste the dishes they cook.”
– “So these rare people,
they just take care of needs? No desires?”
– “Oh, they take care of desires.
But they put a rational limit to it.
They respect the fact that
earnings are useful only when enjoyed.
They give themselves the time for it.
They structure their daily business
accordingly.
To live mindfully is to live balanced.
Not lacks. Not excesses.
Everything in moderation.”

What Are We Saying To Present Day?

– “The path doesn’t resonate with me.”
– “Does the destination?”
– “Yes. I visualize myself there; I feel peace.”
– “Then the path will resonate too. Patience.”
– “But every day tells me I’m not made for it.”
– “What a day tells us, depends on
what we tell that day.
We talk to a day by our actions for that day.
If that action is same every day,
Same will be its result;
And same will be the day’s say every day.”
– “I know I need to act differently.
I know I need to explore.
Have trials. Learn from errors.
Change actions when they fail.
Fine-tune actions when they work.
Adapt to the process.
I understand it on an intellectual level.
But I fail to apply it. Why?”
– “Consciously, you crave for your aim.
Unconsciously, you prove it’s not for you.
Repeating false actions proves it to you.
Yesterday told you you’re a failure.
By repeating the same action,
You convey that message to today.
You hear its echo at the end of the day.”
– “Yes. That’s true. How do I change that?”
– “Winners win for they know
they aren’t same any two days.
They approach each day anew.
Losers turn winners by applying the same.
So far you’ve been acting as a messenger
between yesterday and today.
Stop. Yesterday has expired;
and so has the validity of what it told you.
It’s a brand new day today.
You’re brand new today.
Be new. Think anew. Act anew, now.”

Mindful Living

– “What’s mindful living?”
– “What’s personality?”
– “It’s a reaction given to life.”
– “Good. What are its aspects?”
– “Well, there’s thought.”
– “Mindful living by thought is,
To avoid polar extremities in thought;
To maintain balance, aim at mental stability;
rather than slaving to sentiment.”
– “Then there’s speech.”
– “Mindful living by speech is,
To choose responses over reaction;
To navigate dialogue to achieve our goals
rather than playing out a scripted pattern.”
– “Thought and speech lead to action.”
– “Mindful living by action is,
To be goal-oriented by nonviolent ways;
To be the solution consciously;
rather than being a problem unconsciously.”
– “Our transactions show our personality.”
– “Mindful living by transaction is,
To stay true to one’s self;
To employ independence of that self;
rather than deviating as per mass trends.”
– “And of course, there’s occupation.”
– “Mindful living by occupation is,
To maintain discipline;
To aim at long-term profits;
Rather than surrendering to short-term gains.”
– “So mindful living is goal-orientation?”
– “And tuning to best profitable ways for it, yes.
We don’t apply it as yet another script.
We apply it specifically to leave dramas;
And make real gains in life.”

© Apoorva | Life Empowerment
Counselor & Psychologist
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#LifeLessons #SelfAwareness #SelfDevelopment #SelfEmpowerment #KnowYourself #SocialAwareness #SelfHelp #Mindfulness #Thoughtfulness #BeMindful #MindfulLiving #Thinking #Feelings #Emotions #EmotionalManagement #ThoughtProcess #BeliefSystem #ThinkSmart #ThinkDifferent #Introspection #MindPower #StrongMind #PersonalGrowth #Maturity #SelfTalk #SelfDialogue #CommunicationSkills #Psychology #SocialPsychology #Counseling

Let’s Wake Up.

– “Are you blaming the victim?”
– “I’m awakening the victim.”
– “You hold the victim responsible?”
– “I see the victim as capable.”
– “For what?”
– “For transcending being a victim.
And for avoiding turning into one.”
– “You direct attention to capability,
by asking people to pay attention to
where they show incapability?
Isn’t that paradoxical?”
– “Are these walls here made of concrete?”
– “Of course. What else would it be?”
– “Clay, maybe. Or wood.”
– “Are you kidding? Why would it be so?”
– “Why wouldn’t it be so?”
– “Who wants weak walls of clay or wood?”
– “So it’s information about weakness
that inspires growth toward strength, huh?”
– “Oh… Well, OK…
And what weakness would you ask
a victim to focus on?”
– “How would you take down these walls?”
– “I’d focus on a crack. I can widen it.”
– “So you’d use something
the wall already has to your advantage?”
– “That’s how the job is done.”
– “There are cracks in our mental build-up.
Beliefs. Thought-processes.
Scripts of life given to us by
family, community, culture, tradition.
We react in predictable ways.
Someone identifies what they will be.
That’s how cracks are widened.
I’d tell people to introspect. Check cracks.
It’s a choice to fortify walls.”
– “But why focus on the victim at all?
Shouldn’t you focus on the oppressor?”
– “Sure I’ll focus on the oppressor. But,
Wolves exist because rabbits exist.
It’s an equation.
We can’t erase it by canceling only one side.
If you cancel wolves but keep rabbits,
the gap will be quickly filled by hyenas.
We don’t want that, do we?
It’s not the fear of punishment
that keeps robbers out of this room, dear;
It’s the concreteness of these walls.”

“Lucrative”!

– “I don’t understand you.”
– “I’m pretty simple to understand.”
– “You’ve made it big in life. Obviously,
you have an eye for opportunities.
This is a lucrative chance.
Yet, you say no to it. Why?”
– “Simple. I don’t find it lucrative.”
– “Everybody else would.”
– “That’s the thing with success.
Everybody is built for it.
But everybody is too busy being
an “everybody”. Like a shoal of fish.
Profiteers bait them with
a “lucrative” idea; everybody rushes at it.
That’s how you get trapped in a net.”
– “So how to know what’s actually lucrative?”
– “Lucrative is a subjective idea, my friend.
Success is a result of our personality,
reflecting at its best.
And we’re all uniquely different.
And so is success for each one of us.
The path itself moulds into destination.
And the walk must suit us, individually.
When I make my choices,
I ask myself three questions.
One. Does the path resonate with me?
Two. Does the walk resonate with me?
Three. Of course I’ll have to adapt a bit,
but would I enjoy what I may become?
The goal isn’t to grab what’s out there.
The goal is to unlock it within.
And it’s success, only when
that creation helps us express our selves;
rather than make us lose ourselves.”

Mindful Living: Active Listening

– “You’re living great.”
– “I choose to.”
– “Do you have any mentor?”
– “I learn from everyone I meet.”
– “Sometimes people mislead us.”
– “Sometimes we mislead ourselves.”
– “By believing in their false ideas?”
– “Or by deriving false ideas
out of true ones.”
– “How do you avoid both?”
– “Active listening.”
– “Meaning?”
– “When one person speaks to me, I hear two people talking. One is that person. The other is me, telling myself what I think that person is saying. Most people make no difference between these two here. I do. For I know, our senses are basically windows. With their own shapes. And colored glasses. Whatever comes in, assumes the shape of the window; and the color of its glass. The person may be talking about something square and white. My senses filter it through my beliefs. Make it round and green. Or triangular and orange. Yes, we remodel everything. So I make a point of stepping out of the window. And recheck what it actually is. Only then I get to assess it on real terms. Only then I can know its validity. My aim in life, in this matter? It’s to collapse all windows. And be free.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
Please share with author’s name.}#LifeLessons #SelfAwareness #SelfDevelopment #SelfEmpowerment #KnowYourself #SocialAwareness #SelfHelp #Mindfulness #Thoughtfulness #BeMindful #MindfulLiving #Thinking #Feelings #Emotions #EmotionalManagement #ThoughtProcess #BeliefSystem #ThinkSmart #ThinkDifferent #Introspection #MindPower #StrongMind #PersonalGrowth #Maturity #SelfTalk #SelfDialogue #CommunicationSkills #Psychology #SocialPsychology #Counseling

Thought. Speech. Action.

– “What’s growth?”
– “Result of conscious change.”
– “How do we grow?”
– “We make three changes.”
– “What’s the first?”
– “Thought. We are what we think.
To grow is to think growth.
Change mind
from what is to what should be.
It’s //schematic//.
It’s vision.
That’s how we sow the seed.”
– “What’s the second?”
– “Speech. We can be what we speak.
To grow is to speak growth.
Change reactions to responses.
It’s //design//.
Possibility of actualized vision.
That’s how we water the seed.”
– “What’s the third?”
– “Action. We will be what we do.
To grow is to act.
Change from scripted behavior
to mindful living.
It’s //mechanism//.
Engineering of vision.
That’s how the seed sprouts.”
– “Which choice is most important?”
– “The last one. Action.”
– “Why?”
– “One can sow a seed.
One can water that seed.
But it’s that seed’s own choice
to make use of it all and try to grow.
Success is a purely physical build-up.
That’s the sheer truth of life.
Embracing it separates
winners from losers.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
| Life Empowerment |
{Thank you, if shared.
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Cooking Happiness

– “I’ll be happy when I get There.”
– “You said the same before coming Here.”
– “I thought This is where happiness is.”
– “Same as you think That’s where it’ll be.”
– “You think I’ll fail at finding happiness?”
– “We all fail at finding happiness.”
– “What? Why?”
– “It’s not a destination to reach.
It’s unlocked within.”
– “But I don’t feel it.”
– “Do you feel your eyes?”
– “Yes. I can see.”
– “It’s a choice to see.”
– “Happiness is unlocked by choice?
By make-believe crap?
Call things nice even when they aren’t?
I don’t believe it.”
– “Of course things aren’t nice.
Of course self-manipulation isn’t the way.
Bad circumstances are like uranium.
It’s a choice to do nothing and
let it make you sick.
It’s another choice to see it as fuel.
Inspiration in itself, to better things.
Emotion is energy. It stops killing you
when you use it and spend it.
Of course happiness isn’t readily available.
You can’t feel happy by choice. But,
You can choose an approach.
You can choose an attitude.
You can choose to be positive mentally;
You can choose to be active physically;
You can be in control of your responses.
And you can be in control of ingredients
that will cook happiness for you.
Stop expecting ready-made meals.
Learn to cook. Be proactive.”

Intelligence V/S Maturity

– “You’re intelligent.”
– “I know!”
– “You knew what would work.”
– “I knew!”
– “But you said nothing.”
– “I applied what I knew.”
– “So you let results speak?”
– “To me? Yes. They verify my view.”
– “And to others?”
– “If they wish to listen, yes.”
– “But why don’t you make them listen?”
– “I can’t make anyone do anything.
I shouldn’t.
And I don’t need to.”
– “Why not?”
– “Usability is subjective.
What I did, worked for me.
It may or may not, for others.
Checking compatibility precedes
declaration of usability.
And to check personal compatibility
is by definition a personal task.
I don’t make others’ choices for them.
I place ideas forward with my results.
I leave it to their choice,
to check, accept or reject.
I’m not on this planet to dictate.
I’m here to donate.
It keeps life simple.”

Believe; Don’t “Make-Believe”.

– “Teacher,
Our Ace is fearless. So is his opponent.
And yet, the opponent fails every time.
Why is that so?”
– “When do they declare themselves fearless?
Before or after they achieve results?”
– “The Opponent boasts of it before.
The Ace lets his results speak.
But that’s my question.
Isn’t belief our fundamental strength?
Why does it never work for the opponent?”
– “Beliefs work when they’re based on facts.
Facts are established by effort and results.
The Opponent has no belief.
He has an assumption;
He demands himself to see it as truth.
Someone told him that limits are bad.
So he embraces a virtual idea
that he has none.
He chooses sensation over function.
He mistakes arrogance for confidence.
He prioritizes appearance over emergence.
Of course reality slaps him hard.
Rejection of limits isn’t bravado;
Acceptance of limits isn’t cowardice.”
– “How does the Ace apply that?”
– “The Ace remains silent and observant.
He scouts the challenge.
He identifies places where
his weaknesses shall stand in his way.
He neither agrees with them;
Nor does he deny their existence.
He simply accepts them as they are;
He knows it’s humility that breeds glory.
He uses his recon as data to focus his effort.
He doesn’t fool himself.
He doesn’t take himself for granted.
He evolves into being limitless.
He builds his beliefs.
That’s how
he lets his results speak for him.”

Simple. I Love You.

– “What is love?”
– “Wholehearted acceptance.”
– “When is it successful?”
– “When it’s unconditional.”
– “Does it mean unconditional excuse,
for when we see each other’s
darker sides?”
– “It means unconditional support,
for when both agree
to work on those sides.”
– “So it means consistency?”
– “Yes.
It’s like any other field of life,
where we wish success.
So long as wish for betterment exists,
we never give up.
It’s not the challenges in our way
that end a relation.
It’s the hunger for being together
that fulfills a relation.
That hunger is love.”© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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Survivor

– “I’ve suffered.”
– “You’ve survived.”
– “I’m a victim of life.”
– “Or you’re a warrior of life.”
– “Why do you try to cheer me up?”
– “It beats letting you play victim.”
– “I’m not playing a victim. I AM a victim.”
– “You were, sure. In the past.
Others made that choice for you.
What you’re at present is up to you.
For it’s your choice to make.”
– “What choice do I have?
My life is a summary of flaws.
Some received from others.
Many rewarded by myself.”
– “Imagine a survivor of a sunken ship.
Surrounded by waters, loneliness and fear.
The survivor has two options.
The truest of options life can offer.
Sink or swim.
Choose inertia and actuality of end kindles.
Choose motion and a possibility lightens.
A possibility of finding land. And life.
And a great story.
His choice doesn’t depend on the situation.
His choice defines that situation.
Do nothing,
and we’ll say the situation plays
the evil in a sad story.
Get in action, and maybe,
the same situation will be said to play
the most thrilling part
in a great adventure story.
Maybe there’s no land.
But going down knowing,
that we fought till the end,
beats going down wondering,
if we made a mistake by not trying.
Past doesn’t define us.
We grab that past by its throat;
And we define it.”

Happiness V/S Beliefs Of Happiness

– “I want to be happy.”
– “Choose it.”
– “By self-manipulation?”
– “No. By action.”
– “I take actions. I even reach destinations.”
– “But you don’t feel fulfillment in the end.”
– “Exactly. Why don’t I?”
– “Ever feel you just go through the motions?”
– “All the time. Why do I feel that?”
– “You’ve been playing roles in a drama.”
– “But I’m not bluffing.”
– “Of course not. It’s unconscious.”
– “Meaning?”
– “There’s what actually makes us happy.
Music. Sports. Arts. Treks. Books.
And then,
There’s belief of what may make us happy.
We gather ideas of it from outside world,
Since childhood.
A position in a corporate surrounding.
A house with specific square-feet of area.
A car of a specific brand; in specific color.
A partner with specific height and hair;
A trophy; someone’s approval; prestige.
We see someone else with these gains;
We see they’re happy;
We believe it’ll make us happy too.
We dupe ourselves.
We play the right moves and get it all;
And in the end we stare it and wonder,
‘What the hell am I looking at?’”
– “You just summarized my life…”
– “Most people today are like great cooks,
who don’t have time
to eat the food they cook.
That’s a useless form of success.
Happiness is a choice.
Success is about building a space,
where you can actually make that choice.
Happiness is subjective to the individual.
Know what actually makes you happy.
It may be that book. Or that car.
Either’s OK. But it must be yours. Original.
Stay true to it. Re-assess your goals.
Your aim is to build a practical daily life,
that lets you do what makes you happy.”

Knowledge: Fludity V/S Serenity

– “What is truth?”
– “It’s what things are.”
– “What is reality?”
– “It’s what we make of things.”
– “What is information?”
– “It’s how people wish to share reality.”
– “How do we collect it?”
– “We see it as a pool. A circle.”
– “And we find its centre?”
– “We approach it,
from as many angles as possible.”
– “Why multiple angles?”
– “As I said,
information is a formation of perception.”
– “And we sift through multitudes of it?”
– “It’s how we break through the cloud of
how people wish to tell it
and absorb how we need to have it.”
– “So to get information is
to have motion through formations.”
– “Yes. It takes fluid effort. Like a river.”
– “And what is knowledge?”
– “Identifying truth out of reality.”
– “How do we do that?”
– “Implementation and introspection.
We apply information and check results.
We see for ourselves what truth is.
But there’s a risk.”
– “We may end up with our own perception,
right? How do we avoid that?”
– “We let the river go calm. Serene.
Reflections are clear,
only when waters are calm.
We avoid the rush to develop biases.
Let the truth reflect clearly.”
– “So the true challenge in knowing is…”
– “Patience that lets fluidity turn to serenity.”

Centre Of Universe

– “You have a balanced life.”
– “And where do you notice it?”
– “Your personal and social lives.
They’re perfectly balanced.
How do you manage that?”
– “There are currents in an ocean.
One maintains its own flow.
And yet it’s a part of that ocean.
It doesn’t slave to the ocean.
Neither does it dominate the ocean.
It syncs with the whole.
My life is a current; society is an ocean.
There’s survival. And there’s life.
To survive is to sync with society.
To live is to maintain a unique personality.
To manage both, takes awareness.
There are two keys.
One is awareness of my placement.
I’m part of the whole.
I never lose sight of that truth.
I never expect people to mould to me.
Will for assimilation helps accommodation.
Second key is to maintain boundaries.
To be opened with consciousness.
About letting others in. And stepping out.
About whom. When. Where.
And how much.
Priorities for self and society shift.
Know which is when.
And don’t let either starve for long.
Then you’re gold!”

Independence V/S Freedom: Know The Difference

– “Guru? Am I independent?”
– “Do you ride a bicycle?”
– “Yes.”
– “What is it about?”
– “Basically pedaling.”
– “What about steering?”
– “Oh, yes. That too.”
– “I’d say it’s about stability and motion.”
– “Why, Guru?”
– “Isn’t that the challenge?”
– “To maintain stability while in motion?”
– “Yes. Am I wrong?”
– “You’re right, Guru. But that was earlier.”
– “Back when you were in learning phase?”
– “Yes. I have no issues there now.”
– “That’s why you think,
it’s only about pedaling?”
– “Huh?”
– “That’s how you described it, when I asked.”
– “Eh…”
– “Of course, I don’t blame you.”
– “You don’t blame me…?”
– “After all,
it’s the pedaling that solves the issue.”
– “Yes; the motion itself helps stability.”
– “And when you learn that,
the feeling is so excellent, isn’t it!
Oh, sweet freedom!
And it makes you think,
it’s alright to take hands off the handlebar.”
– “You saw… You’re saying I’ll crash?”
– “I don’t know. But I know one thing.”
– “What?”
– “If you do that with the bicycle of life,
then someone else takes controls.
And you’re free no more.”
– “Oh…”
– “Check,
if your hands are firm on the handlebar.
It’ll tell you,
how independence differs from freedom.
You’ll know the answer to your question.”

Jealousy Management

– “I feel jealous of them.”
– “Good.”
– “Why is it good?”
– “Jealousy can be motivation.”
– “To do better that them?”
– “Sure.”
– “And I’ll be at peace afterwards?”
– “What’s your definition of peace?”
– “Knowing I’m better than them.”
– “You’ll never find peace that way.”
– “Why not? I’ll be doing better than them.”
– “There’s always someone else better at it.”
– “So how will I ever find peace?”
– “Same action; different reason.”
– “Meaning?”
– “You will still try to do better.”
– “But the new aim is?”
– “To be better than the present you.”
– “So the goal is evolution; not comparison?”
– “Precisely.”
– “But it implies I’m bad at present.”
– “You aren’t bad. You’re weak.”
– “For I feel jealous?”
– “Instead of feeling inspired, yes.”
– “So that’s the reward of effort, huh?”
– “Yes. A healthier mindset.
Perhaps more useful than a win.”

© Counselor Apoorv Vikas
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Reality.

– “Teacher, what is reality?”
– “It’s what we make of what we make.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Please describe the flame in that lantern.”
– “It doesn’t have a form, really. Just energy.”
– “What if I block the lantern with a blanket?”
– “We’ll get no light.”
– “Say, I make a circular hole in the blanket.”
– “We’ll get light as one cylindrical beam.”
– “Say, its glass is painted green.”
– “That beam will appear greenish.”
– “Reality is like that flame. Formless energy.”
– “And it’s us who give it a form? Shape? Color?”
– “We model it in a way we can sense, yes.”
– “That’s why you said it’s what we make of it.”
– “Now you understand, Child?”
– “Not fully. It’s that definition of yours.”
– “It’s what we make of what we make?”
– “That last bit. ‘What we make.’”
– “Yes. What about it?”
– “It’s… us? We make reality? Really?”
– “Who lightened up the lantern, child?”
– “We did. But we remember we did that.”
– “Yes. So?”
– “We don’t remember making reality.”
– “There’s a reason. Tell me, what are dreams?”
– “Creations of our mind when we’re asleep.”
– “Would a dream be fun if we remember that?”
– “Oh my god… You mean we’re asleep?”
– “Not knowing is necessary to know.”
– “But what? What do we want to know?”
– “Not us, dear. Energy. It wants to know.”
– “Know what?”
– “What it is and what it can be.”
– “And how does it do that?”
– “How do you know you have hands?”
– “I can do things with them.”
– “Not enough. What else?”
– “I have eyes. And hands can touch each other.”
– “Reality exists only when observed.”
– “So… energy splits itself in multiples?”
– “Observers, observables. We and the flame.”
– “We’re same as that flame… We’re energy…”
– “Observers tune to the observables.”
– “Making reality… “
– “By unconsciously made choices, yes.”
– “So we tuned ourselves to the flame?”
– “That’s why it’s possible for us to observe it.”
– “Without knowing we did so… amazing…”
– “By observing what we made, we change it.”
– “And that’s how energy gets data of itself.”
– “Being playful is how anyone learns.”
– “So… energy… universe is conscious?”
– “My young friend, everything is conscious.”

Gossip: Winners V/S Losers

– “He’s such a loser.”
– “Noted.”
– “You also think so?”
– “I note that you think so.”
– “Yesterday, he-”
– “I’m sorry. I’m busy.”
– “That’s rude. I’m talking with you.”
– “No; you’re playing a game called gossip.”
– “You don’t like gossip?”
– “I like to win.”
– “And what do you do to win?”
– “Stay away from losers, for one.”
– “But he isn’t here.”
– “But you are.”
– “You’re calling me a loser?”
– “You’re declaring yourself a loser.”
– “What?”
– “He’s a loser,
for he isn’t active in what’s needed to win.
And since you want to gossip about him,
Your case is same as him at present.
So at present, it makes you a loser too.”

Introversion V/S Introspection

– “He’s so lame.”
– “Is he?”
– “I’ve never seen him partying.”
– “I’ve often seen him winning.”
– “Is that all to life?”
– “What life is about, is one’s own choice.”
– “What’s a win, if you don’t share its fun?”
– “Why share it,
If people don’t understand you?”
– “Why are you advocating for him?”
– “Why are you advocating against him?”
– “Does he even have any social awareness?”
– “Like that guy?
Whose motivational podcasts you like?”
– “Soulful Soul? Oh, that guy is great.”
– “Ever met him?”
– “No…”
– “He wouldn’t seem so lame if you meet.”
– “Wait… What?”
– “It’s the same guy.”
– “Seriously? You’re kidding, right?”
– “No.”
– “How do you know?”
– “I follow him too. I asked if I could meet.”
– “And… he said yes?”
– “And it was the best talk I had in years.”
– “Wow. Where does he get all that wisdom?”
– “Probably not in parties.”
– “Oh, please…”
– “I asked him the same question.”
– “What did he say?”
– “He said he observes keenly, that’s all.”
– “That’s all?”
– “He’s silent when he’s observant;
He’s silent when he introspects;
He’s silent when he learns;
He mostly lets his action do the talking;
He mostly lets his results speak.
But when he uses words,
He makes sure they inspire change.
He doesn’t squander words; he’s mindful.
He wants to sculpt; says everything is a tool.
He knows he’s mistaken to be an introvert;
Truth is, he lives consciously;
Hopes to become its expert.”

“You Make Me Happy…”

– “I need you.”
– “That belief is a choice.”
– “I was alive before I met you.”
– “And you’ll be alive even without me.”
– “But with you, I’m living. Not just alive.”
– “What’s the difference?”
– “Happiness. You make me happy.”
– “Happiness isn’t taken. It’s chosen.”
– “Let’s say you let me choose it.”
– “No. You let yourself choose it.”
– “Why that distinction is so important?”
– “It’s important for us.”
– “Why?”
– “You see that vase?”
– “Yes. It’s beautiful.”
– “And fragile. Where is it?”
– “On the table.”
– “What if the table suddenly vanishes?”
– “The vase will crash to the ground.”
– “And what does it demand of the table?”
– “To reduce itself to be a stand for the vase.”
– “Am I the furniture in this relationship?”
– “No… But the vase is fragile…”
– “The vase has no option. But you do.”
– “But a relationship is about finding strength.”
– “Which is built together.”
– “So?”
– “Are we building it? Or am I leasing it to you?”
– “Do you deny a relation is about supporting?”
– “How many wings does a bird have?”
– “Two.”
– “How do they help the bird fly?”
– “They move in sync. Isn’t that supporting?”
– “Of course; but it isn’t dependence.”
– “But one wing is useless without the other.”
– “And that’s why the sync.”
– “So it’s independent effort from each wing…”
– “For codependent result of flight.”
– “So my choice of happiness is…”
– “Same as mine.”
– “An independent choice…”
– “For codependent result of happy relation.”

Mindful Consistency : Repetition And Adaptation

– “You disappoint me.”
– “I get that a lot.”
– “You preach big about consistency.”
– “And that’s disappointing?”
– “Yes; when you aren’t consistent yourself.”
– “Do I need to know why you think so?”
– “I hate people who don’t live by their speech.”
– “Me too; but where did I deviate?”
– “You had a goal. And you had a method.”
– “It served a purpose for a specific segment.”
– “But now you changed that method.”
– “Of course. For now,
I’m in a different segment of my journey.”
– “You’ve diverted from your path.”
– “My friend, you’re making a judgmental error.”
– “Do enlighten me.”
– “You think mindless repetition is consistency.”
– “Effort must have repetition in it.”
– “And it must be mindful; not ritualistic.”
– “Meaning?”
– “Ever climbed a mountain?”
– “Yes; many times.”
– “Do you follow a straight line all the way up?”
– “I can’t. The path deviates.”
– “Do you apply same gear all the way up?”
– “I can’t. The terrain asks for changes in it.”
– “What if you don’t make such changes?”
– “I’ll either stall in my progress or fail totally.”
– “Same is with goals. It’s a journey of change.
: Winning is in changing consciously.
: A goal is a sum of variety of objectives.
: Each one takes a different approach.
: Want Functionality? Wish applicability?
: Then get versatility and adaptability.
: Methods have expiry dates; I stay aware of it.
: I apply; I gain; I discard the old; I accept new.
: And yes, it can be a 180 degree opposite.
: Like climbing a set of zig-zag staircases.
: You want to move up; you do an about-turn.
: You want a win? Get fluidity in that shift.
: I’m never the same man.
: Consistency isn’t just about repetition.
: It’s also in consistent adaptation.”

I Don’t Have Idols. I Have Ideas.

– “Who’s your idol?”
– “I am.”
– “Isn’t that a bit arrogant?”
– “No; it’s practical.”
– “Most people see someone else as idols.”
– “Most people fail to reach their goals.”
– “Idolizing others makes us fail?”
– “Losing ourselves makes us fail.”
– “Idolizing others makes us lose ourselves?”
– “Are idols seen as perfect human beings?”
– “Yes. By definition.”
– “Silly judgmental errors like that have a cost.”
– “And what makes you think you’ll succeed?”
– “I have a strong desire to meet my idol.”
– “I thought that was you.”
– “Sure that’s me. But I haven’t met me yet.”
– “Don’t you have a mirror?”
– “Yes; and I see results of past choices in it.”
– “Oh…. Your present is that result, huh?”
– “That’d be me if I let past define me.”
– “And… you choose not to?”
– “No. I let my goal define me.”
– “And what’s your goal? What do you wish?”
– “It’s not what. It’s who. It’s me.”
– “Your successful future self… is your idol…?”
– “Precisely. My idol. My goal.”
– “You don’t want to become someone else…”
– “I want to be best of what I can be.”
– “And you let that future self guide you…”
– “I let that person make my present choices.”
– “Consciously molding self into that person.”
– “I call it mindful living.”
– “But don’t you need a reference image?”
– “If it’s to be an image,
then why not imagination?”
– “Oh… wow… now I get you…”
– “Do you?”
– “Success isn’t a destination for you…”
– “Success is self-optimization for me.”
– “You don’t want to duplicate…”
– “No. I want to originate.”

The Snail And The Butterfly: A Story For “Helpful” Souls

– “I don’t understand.”
– “I know it’s hard to get.”
– “It’s so unreal.”
– “I know it feels so.”
– “They came close to us.”
– “They said they liked our positivity.”
– “They said they loved our helpful nature.”
– “Then they suddenly dropped contact.”
– “And today they said they hate us.”
– “No reason. No logic.”
– “That’s what makes it so unreal.”
– “Oh, it’s real. It was always real.”
– “It was there since beginning?”
– “We just missed to spot it earlier.”
– “What did me miss?”
– “We focused on only who we are.”
– “But we didn’t focus on who they were?”
– “A snail saw a butterfly, once.”
– “Did it like it?”
– “Loved it.”
– “Beauty, ability, vibrancy?”
– “Asked for its help. Butterfly agreed.”
– “Helped the snail move fast?”
– “Way too fast.”
– “And the snail hated that speed?”
– “No; it loved that speed.”
– “But?”
– “With love came envy.”
– “For the snail could never move fast?”
– “And the butterfly would never slow down.”
– “So the snail told the butterfly it hated it?”
– “Yes; except I didn’t tell you the funny thing.”
– “What is it?”
– “A snail can’t help being a snail. It’s nature.”
-“Sure. It’s not a choice. So?”
– “When people are snails, it’s a choice.”
– “Oh… Same as people who’re butterflies…”
– “And when such a snail is with a butterfly…”
– “It’s awakened to its self-defeating choices.”
– “And instead of working on it…”
– “Oh, some snails prefer to hate the butterfly…”
– “To protect their comfort zones, yes.”
– “So a butterfly should never befriend a snail?”
– “Sure it may; but-”
– “Got it. Check the snail’s mentality first.”